u/Difficult-Lynx5156

I have a joint family where some people always acted like they were the main characters(narcissistic). Constant comparisons, unwanted opinions, judgment, and the feeling that whatever they said was the absolute truth. My parents weren't the problem, but hearing criticism and comparisons from uncles, aunts, tau, tai, and cousins and comparison with their own child for years can really mess with head. Sometimes I wonder if they're right about me, and other times I realize I'm just tired of trying to prove myself to people who had already decided who I was. Has anyone else dealt with this?

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Although from calss 6 I was in hostel... I am not a very social guy..

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My family members says (sidha rah gya bechara,logo ke bache kitne tez hote hain har kam mai, inke bas ki kux ni... I am pissed off with them yrrr. )

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Mera kbhi ghar aane ka man nhi hota. I only came home for my mummy only...

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I am very tired...

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May be I won't be able to do what I want in my life..they to muchhe kha jayengee...😤😞

Let's imagine two people.

The man:

Over a few years, a guy meets different women. In each case, the woman develops strong feelings for him. They spend a few weeks together, get close, and eventually become intimate. The women genuinely like him, and some may even see a future with him.

The guy isn't manipulating anyone, lying, or making false promises. He's honest about where he stands. However, he doesn't really love any of them. He enjoys their company, finds them attractive, and goes along with the relationship, but the feelings are never deep enough for him to commit.

This happens around 10 times with 10 different women.

The woman:

Now imagine a woman in a similar situation.

Over the years, she meets different men. The men develop strong feelings for her, and after spending time together, they become intimate. She isn't deceiving anyone either. She's honest and respectful, but she never develops serious feelings for these men.

She likes them, enjoys being with them, and chooses to be intimate with them, but she doesn't truly love them or want a long-term relationship.

This also happens around 10 times with 10 different men.

Years later...

The man and woman meet through an arranged marriage setup.

Both are good people. Neither cheated, manipulated anyone, or acted maliciously. They simply had multiple consensual relationships in the past where the other person was often more emotionally invested than they were.

My question is:

If you were the man in this situation, would you judge the woman for having a body count of 10?

If you were the woman in this situation, would you judge the man for having a body count of 10?

Would her past matter to you, even though your own past was very similar?

More broadly, should people be judged based on the number of partners they've had, or should they be judged based on their character, honesty, and how they treated the people they were involved with?