u/Dignika_2

This happened a year or so ago. I was on vacations with my them girlfriend and I was just sitting on the couch talking to a group of my friends ( 5 boys and 1 girl this will be important later). Anyway, me and my female(who is the sister of one of the members of the group) friend end up having an argument. And I’ll be honest I was kinda upset by it mostly because I felt like it was my fault that I didn’t properly expressed myself. Anyway, I tried talking to my girlfriend about it and she got angry at me because and I quote “you get more upset by having an argument with (this friend who is a girl) than when you and I have arguments” this isn’t really true. What does happen sometimes is that I try to express something that bothers me in a calma and collected way and she (my girlfriend) gets very upset and starts uncontrollably crying (and sometimes hitting herself) to the point where the only way to maybe calm her down is by hugging her and let her tire herself out until she falls asleep. Anyway over the years I have tried many strategies to try and deal with her crying and one and most recent one (suggested by her) was to try and let her calm herself down. Honestly I don’t think it works she just gets more and more upset to the point that she starts telling me she hates me and starts doings her bags that she is going to leave (we live together). I honestly don’t know what else I could do, she is in therapy as am I. But I don’t see any improvements. But I digress. Anyway she went to bed and cried and cried and cried. And I went to try to smooth things out. It didn’t work it honestly made things worse. She got upset with me and started throwing things at me (pillows, lamps). So I grabbed her and pleaded with her to stop and just talk it out and she started hitting me. I left the room. Now I am sitting here thinking if maybe I am the cause of all this? I am the one common factor. So do you guys think I am the asshole ?

Oh I should also mention that my girlfriend is really jealous especially when it comes to this friend because we have common interests.

This happened a year or so ago. I was on vacations with my them girlfriend and I was just sitting on the couch talking to a group of my friends ( 5 boys and 1 girl this will be important later). Anyway, me and my female(who is the sister of one of the members of the group) friend end up having an argument. And I’ll be honest I was kinda upset by it mostly because I felt like it was my fault that I didn’t properly expressed myself. Anyway, I tried talking to my girlfriend about it and she got angry at me because and I quote “you get more upset by having an argument with (this friend who is a girl) than when you and I have arguments” this isn’t really true. What does happen sometimes is that I try to express something that bothers me in a calma and collected way and she (my girlfriend) gets very upset and starts uncontrollably crying (and sometimes hitting herself) to the point where the only way to maybe calm her down is by hugging her and let her tire herself out until she falls asleep. Anyway over the years I have tried many strategies to try and deal with her crying and one and most recent one (suggested by her) was to try and let her calm herself down. Honestly I don’t think it works she just gets more and more upset to the point that she starts telling me she hates me and starts doings her bags that she is going to leave (we live together). I honestly don’t know what else I could do, she is in therapy as am I. But I don’t see any improvements. But I digress. Anyway she went to bed and cried and cried and cried. And I went to try to smooth things out. It didn’t work it honestly made things worse. She got upset with me and started throwing things at me (pillows, lamps). So I grabbed her and pleaded with her to stop and just talk it out and she started hitting me. I left the room. Now I am sitting here thinking if maybe I am the cause of all this? I am the one common factor. So do you guys think I am the asshole ?

Oh I should also mention that my girlfriend is really jealous especially when it comes to this friend because we have common interests.