u/Diligent-Chain-7927

Hi everyone! I wanted to update those who commented on my last post because unfortunately things didn’t end well.

For context, I had recently questioned the amount of family laundry and household responsibilities in my role. We had one respectful conversation about expectations, and afterward I decided I would continue doing my job while quietly looking for another position if it turned out we weren’t the right fit. Around that same time, I came across a Reddit post that I am 99% sure was written by my MB asking whether they should replace me. Every detail matched our situation. I never told them I saw it.
This week everything actually seemed normal. They were making plans for next week, telling me about upcoming holidays, and I honestly thought we were finally going to have the expectations conversation.
Instead, today after NK went down for her nap, both parents asked to speak with me outside and told me today would be my last day.
They repeatedly told me this wasn’t because of our recent conversation about grocery shopping and laundry. They said I had been wonderful with NK and that they trusted me to continue caring for her up until today. Their explanation was that they didn’t think I would be the right fit once the new baby arrives, even though they felt I had been a great nanny for their daughter.
The reasons they gave were two incidents from early in my employment.
The first was when I briefly stepped away while NK was independently playing. We discussed it immediately, I apologized, and it never happened again.
The second was described as me “forgetting the baby monitor while getting ready.” What actually happened was that I had asked if I could get ready for my mom’s event during NK’s nap because they weren’t able to let me leave early that day. NK’s grandma was visiting and told me she would keep the baby monitor with her while I got ready, so I wasn’t responsible for monitoring NK during that time. That incident was still brought up as one of the reasons they felt I wasn’t the right fit for their growing family.

What makes this difficult for me is that all of the tension over the past couple of weeks centered around my asking for clarification about grocery shopping, laundry, and the overall scope of my role. Although they assured me those conversations weren’t the reason for my termination, the timing has made it difficult not to wonder whether they influenced the decision.

The hardest part was that our contract states either party would provide four weeks’ notice, but instead I was told today was my last day. They did offer me two weeks of severance, which I appreciate, but I was completely blindsided and am now scrambling to find another position.
I’m not upset that a family decided I wasn’t the right fit—that happens. I’m struggling with the lack of notice, the lack of communication, and feeling like concerns from months ago that had already been discussed and corrected were ultimately used to end my employment.

For the experienced nannies and nanny parents here:
Is same-day termination common when there hasn’t been abuse, neglect, or misconduct?
Would you have expected concerns from months ago that had already been addressed to resurface as the reason for termination?
Any advice for moving forward from here?

Hi everyone!

I'm looking for some advice because I honestly feel blindsided.

A few months ago I accepted a new nanny position. Looking back, there were probably a few yellow flags that I ignored because the family seemed wonderful.

The hiring process was extremely quick. We never met in person before I accepted the job—just one FaceTime call and two phone calls. Every other nanny position I've had involved multiple interviews and trial days, which I actually prefer because both the nanny and family get to make sure it's a good fit.

The mom is a former nanny, so when we discussed guaranteed hours, PTO, holidays, etc., I felt confident she understood industry standards. Those are things I require in every contract, so I really thought I had found a unicorn family.

During the interview they told me the job included:
- Childcare
- Enrichment activities
- Cleaning up after NK
- Loading/unloading the dishwasher
- Family laundry

Family laundry was new to me, so I asked for $28/hr because that sounded more like a nanny/house manager position. NM said they could only do $26/hr and described the household work as "light," so I accepted.

Before I even started, I let them know my husband and I already had a vacation booked to St. Martin. They assured me it wasn't an issue.

A few weeks before the trip they asked if I could move my vacation because ND had forgotten about another commitment. I couldn't because everything was already paid for. Thankfully their previous nanny covered for me.

After that, they decided to take their own vacation the week after mine and told me I could either take that week unpaid or use the rest of my PTO. Since I wanted to be paid, I used the remainder of my PTO, meaning within my first month I had already used all of it—even though only half of those days were actually my vacation. I had always understood guaranteed hours to cover situations like that, so that was my first concern.

Once I started, I genuinely loved the job. NK and I bonded well, we were constantly out doing enrichment activities, and because I noticed it would help the family, I volunteered to start grocery shopping with NK since she enjoys going to the store and it's a great outing.

Over time my responsibilities became:
- Childcare
- Enrichment activities
- Grocery shopping
- Putting groceries away
- Loading/unloading the dishwasher
- Cleaning up after myself and NK
- Washing, drying and folding mom, dad and NK's laundry (usually 1–2 loads every day)

I honestly didn't mind helping because they're kind people and I wanted to make their lives easier.

The issue came up this week.

My car was in the shop, so I needed to return my rental. NM asked that I do it during NK's nap instead of leaving work early because she was working from home.

That same day I had already grocery shopped, put groceries away, cleaned the kitchen, folded one load of laundry and moved another load into the dryer. By the time I got back from getting my car, NK was waking up, so one load stayed in the dryer.

A few days later NM asked why it wasn't folded and told me that if I ran personal errands during work I should stay late to finish everything.

That conversation made me realize the issue wasn't actually the laundry—it was that the role had slowly become more of a nanny/house manager position than I originally anticipated.

I asked if maybe the laundry could be consolidated a few days a week so I'd occasionally have an actual break during nap time. NM explained that family laundry was always part of the role and would only increase once the new baby arrived.

She also compared me to their previous nanny, explaining that their former nanny even stripped their beds, washed their sheets and remade the beds. I completely respect that if their previous nanny chose to go above and beyond, but I left that conversation feeling like I was being measured against someone who was doing significantly more than what had originally been discussed.

After reflecting, I sent a respectful follow-up message saying I completely understood that laundry was non-negotiable, but asked if we could either:

1. Remove grocery shopping (since that was something I had volunteered to do), or
2. Revisit my rate because the position now felt much closer to a nanny/house manager role than I originally expected.

NM responded saying there was likely a mismatch of expectations and that we'd talk in person.

That conversation never happened.

Now I've learned they're speaking to another nanny, and I'm worried they've already decided to replace me.

I'm honestly heartbroken because I adore my NK and truly wanted this job to work. I don't feel like I was refusing work—I was simply trying to clarify expectations before resentment built on either side.

My questions are:
- Would you quietly start looking for another position?
- Would you ask the family directly if they're replacing you?
- Does this sound like I handled the situation poorly, or does it sound more like a mismatch of expectations?

I'd really appreciate hearing from both nannies and nanny parents because I genuinely want to learn from this experience if there's something I could have handled differently.

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