u/DiligentPenguin16

My 3.5 yo was extremely proud of himself for peeing on the floor during nap time, no idea why lol. I was at my wits end from having to repeatedly clean pee out of the carpet in his room.

My sister suggested the backwards zippered PJs trick. Haven’t had an instance of him peeing in his room since!

ETA: We did put a small potty in his room with him after he initially started peeing in his room. It only worked for two days at keeping pee off the floor. He then started to pee in the potty, and immediately dump out the full potty on the floor. 🤦‍♀️

He’s been doing pretty good with peeing in the bathroom toilet before and after nap thankfully.

We lost our daughter Lucy at 37 weeks two months ago. She had passed somewhere between one to two days before she was born. By the time we finally saw her face she didn’t look like a perfect baby, her skin and lips had already started to look different. She didn’t look asleep, she didn’t look slightly off, she clearly looked dead.

I’ll never know what she really looked like when she was alive, and that kills me. The closest we could come is one 3D shot an ultrasound tech happened to snap for us, and it isn’t even a very good picture. It’s just a small sliver of her face because of how she was laying.

I’m scared to look at the photos the grief doula took of her for us, I haven’t gotten the courage to yet. I’m worried about one day showing her older brother pictures of his little sister, I don’t want him to be scared of his sister. I don’t want to show our friends or family what she looked like, which guts me. I feel so, so guilty and ashamed of being scared, like I need to hide her photos. I’m her mom, I shouldn’t feel that way about seeing photos of my baby. But I do.

I will never know what color her eyes were. Did she have hazel eyes like her dad, or brown eyes like mine? We’ll never know. Not knowing that about her is going to haunt me forever.

She looked almost exactly like her older brother did when he was born, but with a smaller nose. It makes looking at his baby photos on the wall bittersweet. I like being reminded of both my children when I see his photo, but it makes me so devastatingly sad that we don’t feel up to hanging her photo on the wall. I don’t know if we ever will.

All we have is her hand and footprints up. It’s something, but it doesn’t feel right either. I’m just so sad.