u/Dindelydandelydoo

We were together for 8 years, lived together for 8. We were so happy.

2 years ago he got his dream job and a massive paycheck. He was so happy, he couldn’t sleep at night because he was so excited to go to work. I was so happy for him.

Then he started working for 60-70 hours per week. He changed. First the intimacy stoped, he only replied to I love yous, didn’t initiate them, then he didn’t want to do anything I suggested. He thought he was above everyone else, he did everything better and had the best ideas. He started to look down at me and everyone else. He became snappy, then angry. He became jealous over every contact I had with people, even my cousins. He wanted to know everything I talked with other people, did we talk about him. He wanted to complain about everything I did or didn’t do. His ocd took over his life. He would shut down the water to the house, because he was paranoid that the fridge water line would leak. I tried everything to fix it, I suggested therapy for both of us, I tried to support him, I was there for him. We talked about breaking up for a year. Everytime I said something he said he was happy and I should stop making up issues. His sister asked if everything was okay with him a month ago, now the shift was visible to others as well.

I left him on monday. This all became as shock to him. He said that was the first time he heard about me being unhappy. He liked to say that when he faced any criticism. Then he cried and then he turned into a bully. He said such mean things and kept mocking on me, but I could hear him cry in the bathroom. After moving my things I went to get my dog. It was obvious he had cry the whole time, my dog was wet from his tears and his eyes were bloodshot. He kept crying and apologizing. He wanted.

I know he was abusive, he wasn’t always like that. He used to love so much. I know breaking up was better for both of us. I know I will be happy again and so will he. I know I deserve so much more. I hope he gets the help he needs. I hope he leaves the company he works at.

I miss the person he was before he had that job. I miss love. I miss being loved. I miss loving someone. I miss our home. I miss my garden. I miss the stream behind our house. I miss his dog. I miss his sister. I miss his brother. I miss their kids. I miss being excited to see him. I miss him smiling at me when he would notice me for the crowd. I miss the dream of growing old together. I miss what we were. He was the first person to actually love me and make me truly feel loved. I miss everything I lost. I miss everything I could’ve had. I miss everything we could’ve been. I miss us when we were happy.

I hate the apartment that I call home now. I hate that I can hear the neighbors. I hate the construction site outside. I hate hiw stressed my dog is over my crying. I hate how he doesn’t wanna cuddle. I hate feeling so alone. I hate how every song is a love song or a break up song. I hate everything.

I’ve never cried over a boy before. I guess it took 34 years. Everything hurts so much.

Currently using noughtys wave hello shampoo and conditioner. After shower I add Björn Axen curl creator cream onto wet hair, scrunch and let it drip dry onto a towel, I get good waves, sometimes almost ringlets. But if I diffuse by hovering it becomes a straight and frizzy mess, even if I stay still. Also plopping stretches it straight. By air drying the waves stay for max. 3 hours. How can I make the stay longer? I’ve tried Umberto Gianninis curl foam, which made my hair really coarse and straight. I have virgin hair, that’s pretty typical scandinavian hair. About medium thickness and poor/medium density. It air dries in 5-6 hours, diffusing takes about an hour if I start after about an hour air drying session. Pictures from wet to dry.

Do I need a curl cream with stronger hold or a separate hold product. Any recs?

Lunch is chickpea peanutbutter tomatosauce and rice. But I really don’t feel like eating.

8 years together, 6years living together. We’ve had issues on/off for 1,5-2 years that just keep escalating. I finally made the decision to leave after thinking about daily for 3ish months.

This past week we were on a holiday with his family and I just realized that I would rather be there with his family without him. So I guess we are done.

His family has a celebration next sunday. Do I break up before that or wait past it? Do I do it now and ruin the holiday? Do I get a new apartment before I break up? I don’t have anyother place to go, so I’m here until I have another place to go. I don’t want anything bad for him and I want this to go as smoothly as possible and I don like to do things behind his back. I don’t know what to do!! I’ve never broken up with someone I live with before.

Do I tell him tomorrow?