u/Diomil_

I’m 18(F) and I never thought about death this seriously until a few months ago, I simply didn’t care but when the realization of death and absolute uncertainty hit it hit so bad. I’m diagnosed with OCD, I use 100mg Sertraline daily but that thing doesn’t help anymore.

I can’t cope with the fact that one day I will die, it’s scary and I don’t want to stop experiencing, living. I never believed in any religion or afterlife stuff and I started to believe that we just simply cease to exist since it was the simplest answer. I couldn’t sleep countless nights because of this though. But my spiral didn’t end here because then I remembered the fact that this planet will also be destroyed by our sun one day and this universe will be either face a heat death where nothing will happen or disappear in another way, that’s what science says at least and I can’t help but feel that everything is painfully pointless. No one will remember us and there won’t be anything to remember. Nothing matters because when we die we won’t be able to tell how much time has passed and we can just think that the universe died in a blink of an eye from our subjective perspective. Even if I was immortal I don’t think I would want to experience this awful things. Dying and seeing everything die (if we’re really a part of this reality we also disappear with it so there’s no actual immortality yada yada 🧍‍♂️) are equally scary.

I can’t sleep properly, I’m always tired and always in a derealization state, I can’t focus on my life because I always think about the “bigger” stuff, my life doesn’t feel like “my life” anymore, I can’t get myself to care. I don’t know what to do, I hate that everything will end one day and it’s scary.

I’m spending hours to search about the space, consciousness and physics only to find a hope that life is meaningful in a way. Eternity isn’t reachable for us but at least I would want something less boring to happen. Sometimes death feels beautiful, I won’t struggle with my mental health… But only sometimes. I’m struggling with valuing transience of things, of us, of me. Reading all those NDEs filled with love, completeness and beauty feels good but I also feel like I’m lying to myself with cherry picked things. Maybe it’s because of my problem of rationalizing things to an annoying degree but even when people close to me tell me about their NDEs or when I remember the moments I saw the little slices of the future in my dreams I just can’t hope… I just want to focus on my life but I can’t, this feeling of worthlessness is awful.

I have made a post here before, I’m struggling with existential OCD and things just never get better. I’m spending hours to search about the space, consciousness and physics only to find a hope that life is meaningful in a way. Eternity isn’t reachable for us but at least I would want something less boring to happen. Sometimes death feels beautiful, I won’t struggle with my mental health… But only sometimes. I’m struggling with valuing transience of things, of us, of me. Reading all those NDEs filled with love, completeness and beauty feels good but I also feel like I’m lying to myself with cherry picked things. Maybe it’s because of my problem of rationalizing things to an annoying degree but even when people close to me tell me about their NDEs or when I remember the moments I saw the little slices of the future in my dreams I just can’t hope… I just want to focus on my life but I can’t, this feeling of worthlessness is awful

What the actual fuck are they trying to do? Lose users? And what now? I mailed them and they replied with a spam, I gave them an one star on App Store. I know these won’t change anything but idk man, we can boycott the app

I’m 18(F) and I never thought about death this seriously until a few months ago, I simply didn’t care but when the realization of death and absolute uncertainty hit it hit so fucking bad. I’m diagnosed with OCD, I use 100mg Sertraline daily but that shit doesn’t help anymore.

I can’t cope with the fact that one day I will die, it’s scary and I don’t want to stop experiencing, living. I never believed in any religion or afterlife stuff and I started to believe that we just simply cease to exist since it was the simplest answer. I couldn’t sleep countless nights because of this though. But my spiral didn’t end here because then I remembered the fact that this planet will also be destroyed by our sun one day and this universe will be either face a heat death where nothing will happen or disappear in another way, that’s what science says at least and I can’t help but feel that everything is painfully pointless. No one will remember us and there won’t be anything to remember. Nothing matters because when we die we won’t be able to tell how much time has passed and we can just think that the universe died in a blink of an eye from our subjective perspective. Even if I was immortal I don’t think I would want to experience this awful things. Dying and seeing everything die (if we’re really a part of this reality we also disappear with it so there’s no actual immortality yada yada 🧍‍♂️) are equally scary.

I can’t sleep properly, I’m always tired and always in a derealization state, I can’t focus on my life because I always think about the “bigger” stuff, my life doesn’t feel like “my life” anymore, I can’t get myself to care. I don’t know what to do, I hate that everything will end one day and it’s fucking scary.