u/Direct-Koala8648

I found out the day after the post from Jacqueline that the funeral already happened. Jacqueline, Jack, Jill, and I weren't invited. I deleted Fiona and Hal (Fiona has access to it) off Facebook after I found out and I didn't have Marguerite on Facebook. I deleted Fiona off my kids as well. I haven't blocked either yet. I just hope they will choose not to contact me.

Today I posted on Facebook letting the rest of the family I have on there know he passed. Fiona didn't give me the courtesy of inviting me/us to the funeral. I'm not giving her the courtesy of not telling his family.

Edit: I'm also writing a letter to my bio father and plan to burn it.

I (40f) tried to have a relationship was my bio father, Hal (fake names), starting around 2020. Backstory, my mom (Jenny) and I left him when I was 1 year old after terrible abuse, sadly leaving behind with two older half siblings (Jack and Jill). He, his newest wife, and her son abused them in unmentionable, nightmare ways until they were taken away many years later.

I met him again when I was 8 for a few hours and very briefly lived with him when I was 15. At 15, Hal told me he would never leave the county and would stay near. I found out at 18 that he got married, I met my stepsisters (Jacqueline and Marguerite), and found out he moved out of state. He never tried to have a relationship with me even when he moved back and lived 5 minutes from my parents house. I maintained a peaceful, passive relationship with his last wife, my current stepmother (Fiona).

In 2020 at 34, I felt homesick and wanted to patch broken relationships. I reached out to Fiona asking her for Hal's number and her to give him my number so I could talk to him directly and not through her. She wouldn't give me his number and he never reached out. Not a huge surprise there.

In 2022, my mom passed away unexpectedly. All of a sudden he wants to call me. I was horrified by the timing. If he thought he was going to replace my mom, he was out of his mind. A month or two later, we met at his house with Fiona. They met my kids (not planned) and we talked. He told me how much he loved my mom and tried to convince me that my mom was the abuser. Except my mom told me the whole stories. I knew why she threw the perfume bottle and so much more. Hal abused my siblings' mom, my siblings, my mom, Fiona, my stepsister, and his grandchildren. My mom reacted to the abuse and because of the trauma. Who's really the abuser? This infuriated me but never showed it to Hal and Fiona. After all, my mom had just died. I continued a quiet, passive relationship with Fioana.

Fast forward to December 2025, Fiona wanted to meet in person. There's something she must tell me and it's urgent. I went to see her, my stepsister Marguerite ended up being there too, to find out Hal is critically ill, was taking my ambulance to the hospital, and was medical induced coma in the ICU. We went to the hospital so I could see him. I wasn't allowed alone with him so I couldn't say what I really wanted to say. Instead I said, "Hi it's your youngest daughter, Jane. I hope you get better." Fiona and Marguerite signed the forms to resuscitate. I told the nurse I wanted nothing to do with that decision when she asked me. I was getting updates from Fiona after this visit, mostly how he was getting worse and dieing. I was told not to tell Jack, Jill, Jacqueline, or my aunts and uncle (his siblings). I don't talk to most of my aunts or my uncle. I felt wrong not telling my siblings and my aunt who I am very close with.

March 2026, I was told Hal was close to death, awake, and I should go say my goodbyes. Fiona told Jack at this point. Jack came to my place, I comforted him, we talked, and Jack decided he wanted to go and I said I'd go with him. The next day we went with Fiona and Marguerite. We weren't allowed alone with Hal again. Jack said, "I love you dad. I'm here for you." I said nothing and stayed across the room most of the time. Hal could not communicate because he was still intubated. He grew frustrated about it.

After the visit, we was moved to another facility and we were told we could visit when Fiona went. We would not be invited to go at all. Instead Fiona said Hal was afraid of Jack and demanded Jack apology to Hal about death threats Jack made many many years ago before tons of counseling, treatment, and sobriety. Jack said if anyone deserved an apology, it was him and his sisters. This made Fiona angry. Hal was never going to apologize for being the monster he was/is. Jack and I were just done by this point. I stayed peaceful with Fiona and asked for updates, really only seeing if Hal passed. Jacqueline found out about Hal being in the ICU around then and reached out to me asking if I knew. I said I thought your mom would have told you. Jill was just really messed up on drugs, so no one told her.

A Saturday in September 2026, Jacqueline texted me asking if I heard about my dad (Hal). I said no and that I haven't gotten an update in a while. She told me that he passed and found out for me it was the previous Thursday. I reached out to Fiona sending her hugs.

Me, "I'm sorry Fiona."

Fiona, "Do you know"

Me, "Yes"

Fiona, "How, who told you...does anyone else know"

Fiona, "I have been trying to find a way to tell you"

Fiona, "I was with him...so he wasn't alone."

Me, "I know it's hard to tell people. I had to do it when my mom passed." Note: I started notifications the day she passed. I didn't wait three days!

Fiona, "Does his sisters and brother know"

Me, "I don't think so"

Me, "I don't talk to most of them."

Fiona, "Because he begged me not to tell them"

Me, "I understand"

Fiona, "But I told him I will make sure you have a funeral. He didn't want one, but I do it is the last thing I can do for him"

Me, "I understand"

Fiona, "I am having a hard time getting his favorite flowers but I am still working to find them"

Me, "What are they?" Note: Just curious

Fiona, "The peace rose,and the yellow okra"

Fiona, "There are several versions I am hoping to get the Chicago peace rose I think it is the prettiest"

Me, "Pretty"

Fiona, "He had one when he lived with your mother in the trailer and you were just a baby"

Me, "I didn't know that"

Fiona, "Yes it outside the front door...next to the trailer. He actually showed it to me one day....no one was living there at the time"

Me, "Oh cool"

Fiona, "We even went inside and he showed me the added room he built on the trailer"

Me, "I haven't been there since I was a baby."

Thinking to myself, "Did he show you were he abused my mom, Jack, Jill, and me? Peace rose, really?!? He was not a peaceful person!"

Now its been about a month. I'm obviously not being invited to the funeral and neither is Jack. I wouldn't go anyhow but it's common courtesy to invite his children, at least me. I also feel she was never going to tell my siblings and me that he passed. We don't want anything from him and not the secret life insurance. AITA for wanting to block Fiona and Marguerite over all of this?

Hello Charlotte and fellow potatoes! Sorry, this is going to be a long one. I (40F) recently blocked my husband's bio mom (60F). (Names changed to protect the innocent) Background my husband, Jason (44M) was adopted at birth. His bio mom, Krazy Kathy came into our lives in 2020 when our kids were Catalina 10, Casey 8, and Calypso 4.

From the beginning, Krazy Kathy felt she had some huge influence on our lives. She, thinking COVID was the flu, didn't want Jason and I to get our COVID vaccines. We were both government workers and getting the vaccines was going to be mandatory. We explained that to Krazy Kathy but she continued to beg us not to get them. We ignored her and we were vaccinated on the mandated schedules. When time came to vaccinate the kids, we decided that we had already biologically tested them with minimal side effects and they were safe for them. Krazy Kathy argued with me over brunch about our decision. She wouldn't stop until I yelled at her, "We ARE vaccinating our kids!"

Krazy Kathy didn't actually stop there. Instead she starting talking to the kids about her crazy ideas about the COVID vaccines. She told them the vaccines were microchips, micro robots, would make it so they couldn't fight off bacterial infections in the future, among other things. We continued telling the kids the facts. My kids never had any major fears of vaccines before this. Afterwards, Catalina (then 11) had to be restrained while kicking and crying and Calypso (then 5) had to be restrained while kicking and screaming and peeing herself for one of the vaccines. Whatever Krazy Kathy said to them scared them beyond belief. We struggle with getting all vaccines now. Calypso even hides under the bed at the doctor's office.

Also Krazy Kathy asked Catalina (10) if Jason was her dad because I was previously married. Catalina locked herself in the bathroom while Krazy Kathy doubled down. "You don't look like your siblings." "You don't look like my family." "You don't look like my nieces or nephews." I had to pick up the kids early. Catalina didn't calm down until we left. Krazy Kathy doesn't know enough about us to be asking such questions. I got divorced years before I met Jason and had Catalina. Also why the fuck are you questioning a 10 year old about her paternity instead of the adults? To remove any doubt for Catalina, we did ancestry.com. See Catalina, we ARE your biological parents. She said she didn't doubt it and now she will never have to.

Then Catalina really struggled with the loss of my mom in 2022. She self harmed and became suicidal. She was finally stablized on medication. Krazy Kathy argued with Jason and me about Catalina being on medication, the ones stopping her from trying to kill herself. She had already been hospitalized three times. She just knew Catalina was going to become an addict and overdose. We were working with the best psychiatrist in the area. Krazy Kathy wouldn't stop even when I starting screaming, cussing, and saying she didn't raise my husband. She didn't even stop after I left the house to calm down because I had super high blood pressure. She just continued trying to get her point acrossed to Jason.

I didn't block Krazy Kathy through all of that and was able to limit her access to us because we moved out of state to live near my family. She blames me for "forcing" Jason to move away from her and near my family. Now on to the events that finally got me to block her. March Krazy Kathy started sending Jason and I videos of the war in Iran right after I posted on Facebook about how triggering it is to me as a combat veteran with PTSD and that I was going on a media blackout. She was trying to convince was how this was great for our country and loved the direction the country was going. I responded with simply, "I'm a combat veteran and this is inappropriate." Krazy Kathy responded, "This was meant to explain the war inflation immigration and ca fraud, If you only listen to the negative it will only give you anxiety and fear. I have hope because I have seen so much good. I'm sorry Have a blessed dayxx." She really doesn't understand I things I've been through.

In April, Krazy Kathy started sending Jason and I anti-HPV vaccines texts, trying to convince us not at get the HPV vaccine for our kids. We pretty much ignored her. So she started sending texts to Catalina about it. Catalina told us right away and didn't read the nonsense articles or messages. Enough was enough!

Me, "Please don't send my kids anything about vaccines, politics, or the war."

Krazy Kathy, "I'm sorry I don't want to upset you I would not tell Catalina about politics or the war but thank you for reaching out"

Me, "Don't send her vaccine stuff either."

Krazy Kathy, "Stop" "You have said enough"

Me, "I'm serious. If you can't respect my boundaries, you will not be allowed to talk to them."

Krazy Kathy, "Just stop"

Me, "You need to stop. You have no respect for Jason and me."

Krazy Kathy, "Why would I keep sending the same story"

Me, "Because you have repeatly crossed boundaries"

Krazy Kathy, "Please accept my apology I tried to be respectful but you keep going on and on"

Me, "I accept your apology."

Krazy Kathy, "Thank you I understand and you are a great mom I admire that"

Krazy Kathy, "I hope you are not upset about the discussion I had with Nathan I still know it is better to believe we are all going to be ok and things are going to be better for everyone good for everyone. When the accounts open for the babies the stock market is going to take off!"

The nexy day

Krazy Kathy, "I think we have had a misunderstanding and I just want you guys to be happy because I care very much about you and your family"

Krazy Kathy, "You can be kind without agreeing. - Charlie Kurk

Krazy Kathy, "How are you doing? If you need anything I'm here for you"

In May, Krazy Kathy "apologized" about pushing the anti-vax stuff but doubled down. In the same breath, she told me how upset she was that we didn't reach out for Mother's Day.

Krazy Kathy, "I'm sorry that I hurt you. It would be immoral not to share if you believed that people are being vaccine injured. I don't see how that could be wrong. I know my family and friends have been injured. If I can help anyone I know from harm I will try. I do respect you and I understand you want to shelter your family. Please accept my apology. Xx"

Krazy Kathy, "I'm hurt that I didn't hear from you guys on Mother's Day. I do know my kids have been there for me and that is more meaningful. I gave Jason up so he would have a better life. His parents are in a better position to help your family.I wish I could have been in his life more and yours too. I have been focused on Gods word and I watch Joel Olsteen He is so positive and It brings me hope. He is on cable TV. I pray you and your family will have a blessed day xx"

Me, "My mom is dead and Mother's Day is really hard for me."

Krazy Kathy, "🙏🏼I'm sorry xx I'm here for you Love you lots"

This was followed by more anti-vax screenshots.

In June, Catalina texted her saying how dare you attack my mom about Mother's Day when you didn't say "Happy Birthday" to me or Casey. Krazy Kathy claimed she did and Catalina most have forgotten.

Krazy Kathy to me about it, "Catalina reached out and Was hurt because she thought I missed her birthday. I really can't think of anything I can give her that would be memorable. You guys have given her everything she needs.If we could I would have got her a new car. I don't have that kind of cash. I thought I would wait until she needs my help and then I would do something special for her. I did wish her a Happy birthday on her birthday. I guess she forgot Please tell Calypso (spelled wrong) I wish her a Happy birthday. I love you and you and your family unconditionally. I am sad that Catalina is hurt. I wish she was here and We would have spent her birthday together."

Me, "I talked to her and we looked through her messages. There isn't one from you for her birthday. She wasn't expecting a car or anything. She really would have been happy with a card or message. She's also upset that you didn't message Casey for her birthday in February. We love you! I'll let Calypso know you said "Happy Birthday!" She's 10 today if you believe that."

She didn't respond.

In August, Krazy Kathy sent me a picture of the 10 Commandments. I assume she was pointing out "Honor thy father and thy mother." The next day, we had this conversation.

Krazy Kathy, "I can't get over the fact that you have said things to me that hurt me I have held back about you unfriending me (on Facebook) I have not done anything to hurt you or deserve that"

Krazy Kathy, "I heard on the Christian radio when you think things are out of control maybe they are how they are supposed to be"

Me, "To start, I didn't unfriend you. In fact, it would appear that either you or Sean blocked me as you are nowhere on my blocked list.

You're in denial if you think you haven't done anything to hurt the kids, Jason, and me. You questioned Catalina's paternity to her when she was 10. You were nasty to Casey repeatedly while they were trying to figure out who they are. You scared Calypso so bad over vaccines that she peed herself during the appointment.

You argued with Jason and me about Catalina being on medication that was stopping her from trying to kill herself. She had already been hospitalized three times. You don't respect boundaries and don't seem to understand that you don't really have a say on what Jason and I do with our kids.

Your messages to Jason and me about the war were wildly inappropriate and could have resulted in a suicide attempt as we are both combat veterans. We have seen things you would never understand.

Your messages to me about Mother's Day were inappropriate knowing that my mom was dead.

So with all of the things you've done to hurt our family, it's no wonder most of us want nothing to do with you. Which in the grand scheme of things doesn't really matter because as you said your real kids are there for you and that is more meaningful. I bet you say Happy Birthday to their kids."

Krazy Kathy, "I shared to help I have apologized and I am your only mom here I don't understand why you are upset I know what you went through My life has had enough problems I am glad you shared your thoughts I will look into the Facebook and fix that. I am sorry that I hurt you I miss you guys."

She is not my mom in any way. I have my mom (passed), my MIL, and my chosen moms (one of which also passed).

Krazy Kathy, "Be sure to tell the girls that people no one specific are not trying to hurt them and family is the people who love you unconditionally even if they don't agree on everything."

Krazy Kathy, "I'm sorry I Can't find you."

Me, "I'm probably on your blocked list."

Krazy Kathy, "My dear we can get past this and have a blessed relationship just leave the past there

Trust God to bring peace He will put the people you need in your life He has a purpose for you I will be here for you if you need me xx"

About a week later, Krazy Kathy, "Why make things up and pretend I would hurt anyone on purpose especially a child My feelings are hurt"

Again I didn't respond.

Then she messaged Catalina, "Your mom is upset with me over my question to you There are a lot blended families and I didn't mean to hurt you I have been so sorry and I thought we would get past that because we're family I am here for you and your family Love you 😘 xx"

Catalina didn't read it and blocked her. She told me right away.

Me to Krazy Kathy, "Since you are unable to take accountability for your actions, we will be blocking you from all further contact."

I blocked her from the kids' and my Facebooks and phone numbers.

Edit: Krazy Kathy has been texting Jason since I blocked her. Before he could respond to her, she demanded a thank you. He is no longer interested in responding. Screenshots are in the comments.

Edit 2: She still hasn't apologized or taken accountability for anything she's done. She wants Jason to give her access to the children and him not tell me about it.