u/DirectPrez05

I know that’s a question people ask all the time but, this was a pretty passionate six-month relationship between me (30m) and my ex (27F). It ended very suddenly, and with tears on both sides, but I’m struggling knowing what she actually felt about me and if there’s hope in the future. We’ve exchanged words since, and it seems like there’s some stuff that suggests there’s still really strong feelings about whether or not it’s right, but she stood firm on it.

There was such a strong connection while we were together, but she was worried about compatibility issues. I understood them to an extent, but she never said anything about how serious she found them. And if I’m honest, I didn’t expect them to be so serious because we have very similar beliefs, and again, she never said it was building up to a breaking point.

I definitely wish we’d spoke about those things sooner. Truthfully we both avoided the convo bc we were concerned it was lead to a breakup. But then we ended up breaking up about it without really having the convo. We sort of did afterwards, but there’s not really room for reconciliation and I don’t know why. It feels like those talks led to an understanding. Like we weren’t seeing each other clearly and now maybe we’re seeing the different perspectives? But she still isn’t budging on her decision.

I think my biggest fear is that we let communication issues ruin a great thing. I’ve had breakups where it wasn’t working for valid reasons and I’m usually very good at detaching, but this one is breaking me. I wouldn’t be holding out hope if I didn’t feel like this was relationship could’ve been great for both of us long term, and I feel like the convo we had after made that clear and shed just built this negative picture of me in her head while not really acknowledging

And don’t get me wrong, I have issues of my own that would need to be addressed if it were to work. Ending things like this was brutal, and I am seeing how I was being judged so harshly, and how a lot of her actions were hypocritical. I have my own stuff to work on as well. I should’ve addressed things proactively, and honestly, I think I wasn’t willing to see things her way the way I should’ve. I don’t think she was willing to understand my perspectives either, and maybe it let us to butting heads when we shouldn’t have. There’s more - it’s been a lot of thinking and reflecting the past two weeks.

Has anyone else had a breakup like this where there was reflection on both sides and it happened to work out? Did the space actually help? I think we had too much going for us, and even wanted the same things in the future, to let this die out.

I know it’s her choice too, and I just have to live my life best I can. And I can’t hang on expecting it to happen one day. But I can’t deny I hope that it does.

I know that’s a question people ask all the time but, this was a pretty passionate six-month relationship between me (30m) and my ex (27F). It ended very suddenly, and with tears on both sides, but I’m struggling knowing what she actually felt about me and if there’s hope in the future. We’ve exchanged words since, and it seems like there’s some stuff that suggests there’s still really strong feelings about whether or not it’s right, but she stood firm on it.

There was such a strong connection while we were together, but she was worried about compatibility issues. I understood them to an extent, but she never said anything about how serious she found them. And if I’m honest, I didn’t expect them to be so serious because we have very similar beliefs, and again, she never said it was building up to a breaking point.

I definitely wish we’d spoke about those things sooner. Truthfully we both avoided the convo bc we were concerned it was lead to a breakup. But then we ended up breaking up about it without really having the convo. We sort of did afterwards, but there’s not really room for reconciliation and I don’t know why. It feels like those talks led to an understanding. Like we weren’t seeing each other clearly and now maybe we’re seeing the different perspectives? But she still isn’t budging on her decision.

I think my biggest fear is that we let communication issues ruin a great thing. I’ve had breakups where it wasn’t working for valid reasons and I’m usually very good at detaching, but this one is breaking me. I wouldn’t be holding out hope if I didn’t feel like this was relationship could’ve been great for both of us long term, and I feel like the convo we had after made that clear and shed just built this negative picture of me in her head while not really acknowledging

And don’t get me wrong, I have issues of my own that would need to be addressed if it were to work. Ending things like this was brutal, and I am seeing how I was being judged so harshly, and how a lot of her actions were hypocritical. I have my own stuff to work on as well. I should’ve addressed things proactively, and honestly, I think I wasn’t willing to see things her way the way I should’ve. I don’t think she was willing to understand my perspectives either, and maybe it let us to butting heads when we shouldn’t have. There’s more - it’s been a lot of thinking and reflecting the past two weeks.

Has anyone else had a breakup like this where there was reflection on both sides and it happened to work out? Did the space actually help? I think we had too much going for us, and even wanted the same things in the future, to let this die out.

I know it’s her choice too, and I just have to live my life best I can. And I can’t hang on expecting it to happen one day. But I can’t deny I hope that it does.

GF(27F) broke up with me (30M) immediately after getting back from a short trip two weeks ago where we had a really good time. Reason was for compatibility issues. The thing is I felt like we really only had good memories in our six months together. We went on adventures, had a ton of fun together, and I really even enjoyed simple days just doing nothing. And everything suggested that she enjoyed it all too. I was always told that I was such a phenomenal boyfriend, that I treated her as well as anyone has, how attractive I was etc. Just everything you’d wanna hear as a partner and I was always so happy hearing her say all those things. It felt like the real deal.

And then comes the sudden breakup laying in bed after driving through the night. I mean the weeks leading up she posted me on insta for the first time, changed my contact name to add a heart next to it. And the day before we were intimate several times with absolutely no suggestions that her mind was anywhere else.

It didn’t make any sense to me and I still don’t quite understand. We’ve spoken since. She felt I was a judgemental person based on comments I made three months prior, and she doesn’t want that in her life. Not towards her, just people watching comments. For reference, I said someone looked like a specific cartoon character. If people feel like that’s bad then that’s fair and I own it. I grew up and an environment where words didn’t carry that type of massive weight. But I haven’t defended it. I saw how much it bothered her and admitted she was right. Those comments are unnecessary, and it never came up until after the breakup because they ended so why would it?

And then all of a sudden I was just a decent boyfriend, not really the best. I’m judgmental, ignorant, and everything that made me feel like the worst person ever. On top of the comments things she judged me for a previous three month relationship I had with someone that had different political views. A relationship I ended. She found that out from one of her friends, who is still actively friends with that girl, and treated it as further indictment of my character, but it’s not an indictment of her friends? And she said nothing until it was too late. Only ever did and said things that made me feel like we were gonna have a future together and then just dropped this whole bomb based on hypocritical nonsense.

I wanted to reason with her. I don’t feel like she saw it through and it felt like I was starting to get her to see how rash it was. She didn’t say anything. Issues she had had been corrected and that meant nothing. She judged me for people that have nothing to do with me that I removed from my life. And if they were really problems why wait. Why say only the things that lead me on and make me feel like everything is going so perfectly? I feel like the whole relationship was a lie, like all those good memories I had were in my head alone while she secretly despised me. And how hypocritical to say the incompatibility is that I’m judgemental while you’ve just been building a case based on stuff we clearly could’ve talked through bc we just did after the fact, when you’ve been judging me so harshly in secret the whole time.

So yeah, she wasn’t gonna budge, and now I’m kinda left with a void, feeling like I spent six months falling for someone I never really knew. I’m grieving a person that didn’t really care to see me in a good light and lied to my face for months while building me up to slam me down.

If anyone’s experienced this please let me know. I’m open to being wrong about a lot. I feel like part of the hurt is I was always willing to acknowledge my faults and grow and I feel like I showed it. I’m just kinda torn up and I’m struggling for more clarity.

GF(27F) broke up with me (30M) immediately after getting back from a short trip two weeks ago where we had a really good time. Reason was for compatibility issues. The thing is I felt like we really only had good memories in our six months together. We went on adventures, had a ton of fun together, and I really even enjoyed simple days just doing nothing. And everything suggested that she enjoyed it all too. I was always told that I was such a phenomenal boyfriend, that I treated her as well as anyone has, how attractive I was etc. Just everything you’d wanna hear as a partner and I was always so happy hearing her say all those things. It felt like the real deal.

And then comes the sudden breakup laying in bed after driving through the night. I mean the weeks leading up she posted me on insta for the first time, changed my contact name to add a heart next to it. And the day before we were intimate several times with absolutely no suggestions that her mind was anywhere else.

It didn’t make any sense to me and I still don’t quite understand. We’ve spoken since. She felt I was a judgemental person based on comments I made three months prior, and she doesn’t want that in her life. Not towards her, just people watching comments. For reference, I said someone looked like a specific cartoon character. If people feel like that’s bad then that’s fair and I own it. I grew up and an environment where words didn’t carry that type of massive weight. But I haven’t defended it. I saw how much it bothered her and admitted she was right. Those comments are unnecessary, and it never came up until after the breakup because they ended so why would it?

And then all of a sudden I was just a decent boyfriend, not really the best. I’m judgmental, ignorant, and everything that made me feel like the worst person ever. On top of the comments things she judged me for a previous three month relationship I had with someone that had different political views. A relationship I ended. She found that out from one of her friends, who is still actively friends with that girl, and treated it as further indictment of my character, but it’s not an indictment of her friends? And she said nothing until it was too late. Only ever did and said things that made me feel like we were gonna have a future together and then just dropped this whole bomb based on hypocritical nonsense.

I wanted to reason with her. I don’t feel like she saw it through and it felt like I was starting to get her to see how rash it was. She didn’t say anything. Issues she had had been corrected and that meant nothing. She judged me for people that have nothing to do with me that I removed from my life. And if they were really problems why wait. Why say only the things that lead me on and make me feel like everything is going so perfectly? I feel like the whole relationship was a lie, like all those good memories I had were in my head alone while she secretly despised me. And how hypocritical to say the incompatibility is that I’m judgemental while you’ve just been building a case based on stuff we clearly could’ve talked through bc we just did after the fact, when you’ve been judging me so harshly in secret the whole time.

So yeah, she wasn’t gonna budge, and now I’m kinda left with a void, feeling like I spent six months falling for someone I never really knew. I’m grieving a person that didn’t really care to see me in a good light and lied to my face for months while building me up to slam me down.

If anyone’s experienced this please let me know. I’m open to being wrong about a lot. I feel like part of the hurt is I was always willing to acknowledge my faults and grow and I feel like I showed it. I’m just kinda torn up and I’m struggling for more clarity.