u/Distinct-Brief-8042

I hate the Hatch. My brother-in-law reccomended it and I have no idea why. It makes such a simple concept (light and sound machine) the most complicated thing ever. Pick up the lamp to turn it? Song switches. Baby grabs it? Light turns off. Want to change the sound? Swipe, press, next step will be throwing it out the window and still it won't get to the Brown Noise my baby likes. Plus, the volume lags and sometimes doesn't work via the app. Ugh I just hate it.

My husband has chronic back issues. They were really bad in 2020/2021, to the point that we thought he would be actually disabled within a year, and then got a lot better from 2022-2025 for unknown and mysterious reasons. He has had imaging, countless PT, injections, accupunture, therapy, the works. He has always been into fitness and was devastated in 2020-2021 to be forced to stop working out. Between 2022-2025 he was lifting weights regularly and sometimes would have flare ups but never longer than a couple days. Anyway, our son was born in October. He is a great dad and more present with him and our family than ever before. He loves being a dad, much to my delight. BUT the mental load has always been on me. In the 12 years we have been together, we have worked on this issue in and out of therapy, to variable success. Because I was pleasantly surprised at how he showed up so engaged and present as a dad and I was not working full-time, the first six months was great and I didn't mind handling more of the domestic stuff. Then he decided to start running, a known trigger for his back issues. And it resulted in a 'flare up' that has no end in sight. The past two months he has had horrible back issues. He is getting imaging done soon. But for six weeks I have done every nighttime feed, every diaper change, every floor play session, every carseat wrangling, every bath time, every bedttime. The animals are my responsibiltiy because he can't bend down to feed them, change litter boxes, etc. There are a lot of back movements of course in parenting an 8 month old and my husband cannot do any of it without seriously hurting himself or risking worsening pain. On top of that, we moved so the vast majority of the packing, unpacking, house repairs, organizing, furniture buying, home repairs, etc is on me. He's never liked cooking so we are ordering out all the time (historically I have cooked but right now am too stretched thin to), which is making me feel crappy and worried about how much money we're spending. We've had major arguments about how I need him to do the non-physical things because it's all too much for me to bear. He is trying but it is not instant and I am drowning in the meantime. He also really hates that I feel resentment because (and it is true) he obviously does not wish for his back pain and is trying to get better. But I really don't know how to stop feeling this way. I am so, so exhausted and every 5:30 am wakeup that I am on the floor with the baby while he's in bed just leaves me seething. I know resentment is a relationship-killer and I really do love him and our family. I dont want to feel this way. He kind of throws in my face "in sickness and in health" and then I just end up feeling guilty on top of resentful.

Got an email from someone at Rula asking to join them and championing their rate of $80/hour. Here was my response:

Hi ______, 

I was making a 70/30 split right out of grad school (which would be about $80 per session based off what insurance currently pays me). That agency also paid the employer's portion of taxes, as I was not self employed which I would be with Rula. The venture capitalist companies like Rula, which have invaded the mental health field, are clearly wanting therapists to become dependent on them and will slowly wither away our pay or delete us entirely and use our methods for AI. I understand the stated use-case of companies like Rula, to make mental health care more accessible (that’s why I accept insurance). However, if this is Rula's desire, I believe that energy is best spent putting pressure on insurance companies to reimburse more and make payouts and credentialing easier and/or on our elected officials to establish some kind of Medicare for all. 

Take care,

Distinctbrief