u/Dizzy-Security-2764

A bit of background on myself: I spend a lot of time online and don't have many friends. In big gatherings, I tend to need to take a break to go walk outside. I have very strong opinions that most people would call extreme. So women should not be interested in me.

However, I am very tall (6 foot 3) and my face looks good, so women gave me many chances to date them. I do not want to think that looks are all that matter in dating: it makes the world feel very unfair. But so far, I have been given free chances to date women just because of my appearance, but never because of something I did right.

In my fourth year of high school, a girl whose name I did not know asked me to eat diner with her. I am pretty sure I never really talked to her & did not have classes with her.

In my last year of high school, numerous girls made me offers just because of my looks. At my job, a girl I barely knew invited me at her home, despite us only having a few conversations. While I was cycling to school, a girl in a passing bus took a photo of me and told me, to my face, that I am beautiful. Last but no least, at the end of the year, I was making sex jokes that made me sound sexist, but one of the girls responded by putting a condom on my locker. In all 3 instances, those girls clearly were interested in me because of looks, not because of personality.

In my first week of college (3 years ago), a women I had never met before straight up cold approached me and after talking for a bit, she quickly started inviting me to eat diner with her. She knew nothing about me, so obviously she noticed me because of my looks. All I had to do was talk to her after she broke the ice, which was an incredibly easy task to be honest.

One year ago, I matched on tinder with a women who accepted spending hours on a bus to come and see me. She was a women, so she probably had quite a few options, but she still choose to spend a lot of time in transit, which obviously would not have happened had I looked bad.

Last but not least, there is a beautiful women at my job that is straight up flirting with me despite her already having a boyfriend. For example, after I drank from her alcohol bottle, she kept drinking: she was not disgusted.

I think that if I was 5 foot 3 and had an ugly face, I would clearly have joined the incel community. Obviously, men also judge women by looks, so it would be hypocritical to hate women for that. But I also think that it is blatantly false to tell someone that looks do not matter. So please change my view, because that realization is kind of making me feel like I do not deserve my success.

I have been diagnosed with autism when I was very young, but as far as I am concerned, my diagnosis is pseudo-science. The person did not do any physical test to confirm what was wrong with my brain, she just looked at symptoms and made her conclusion.

We know that prior to being able to make physical tests for physical illnesses, we mixed up tons of different diseases together. For example, if your lungs were failing, we always called it "consumption", no matter if the root cause was tuberculosis, cancer or pneumonia. Obviously, the "consumption" diagnosis is not accepted to be junk science.

What is so different about my autism diagnosis? The doctors do not know the physical cause of the symptoms they saw in me, so they just lumped symptoms together, gave it a name and called it a day. Just like it would be ridiculous to ask someone to accept a cancer or hiv diagnosis purely based on symptoms, it does not make sense to me if someone tells me "you have autism" just by looking at my actions.

I did not have any luck in finding a vegetarian or vegan girlfriend on dating apps, and IRL the overwhelming majority of people eat meat, so it would be difficult to find the person I am looking for.

For those who don't know, Veggly is a dating app for vegetarians and vegans. Anyways, despite being a conventionally good looking young men (lots of likes on Tinder), Veggly is a desert for me. I am also in a big city where there is a vegan community (Montreal).

Ok so here is a bit of math, skip to last sentence of the paragraph if it does not interest you. Links to sources will be provided on demand in the comments, but I don't want to put links in my posts. There was a famous survey by Veggly that stated half of vegans would only date other vegans. So if we go by the estimate that 1% of people in Montreal are vegan AND only date others vegans, that leaves 20,000 people. This is a very conservative estimate by the way: Montreal is a city with more vegans than the rest of Canada, yet I took the estimates for Canada. Even if we do not count people who are out of my age range and only count women (around 5% of population), that still leaves around 1000 people. In the age range I am looking for, around 30% of women are single & would eventually want relationships, so that should mean 300 active women on Veggly in Montreal.

However, I only see the profile of someone near me on very rare occasions. I do not understand why there are not more people there. Where else would vegans who are "vegans only" find love? If you try to stumble on someone IRL, you would have to stumble on a vegan of the gender you are looking for that is single, which seems borderline impossible.

I have also tried other dating apps, but you just get swarmed by non vegans. And if you do stumble on a person that doesn't eat meat there, they are likely of those that do not mind non vegans, so the person probably is writing with tons of other people & is highly unlikely to reply to you. I have also tried niche vegan apps, but they are empty.

WHERE are the other vegans?