u/Dizzy_Minute_3427

Hey guys,
I have been spending a lot of time researching the after life as my spiritual journey has started. It all started with anxious thinking because i realized i didn’t know what i believed but really hoped it would be something. i have now come to the conclusion that there is something but it is still unknown to me, however i keep hearing conflicting and anxiety inducing things. one of the things i hear is when you die don’t go toward the tunnel of light because its a trap and your soul will be stuck forever. is there any truth to that? death is already kind of horrifying to me because of all the uncertainties there are but hearing that definitely doesn’t help. if it is a trap what happens if my loved ones fall for it, do i never see them again? i can’t tell every single person i love about this bc a, i would seem a little crazy lol and b, how do i even tell every person i care about that? I honestly feel crazy for my beliefs anyways because of the amount of people who just believe there is nothing after this life. i found that optimism is treated like stupidity especially when it comes to the unknowns of death. Thank you everyone who responds! 🫶

Hi everyone, i have been recently down a rabbit hole of fearing the unknown of death. Death is inevitable which is what makes it so scary because i truly want to believe there’s more after and a big part of me does, however there is this small voice in me telling me there’s nothing and that death is just the end. my biggest fear is death just being one abyss of nothingness i can’t even wrap my head around it and thinking about it sends me into a spiral. I promise my question is not an insult rather asking for others experiences and beliefs that has you 100% confident something comes after this. I feel so out of place on this planet and i can’t really talk death and after life stuff with many people because it makes them uncomfortable but i am an anxious person who wants to be pointed to help. as i say to my husband i am a pessimistic person who tries so hard to be optimistic lol. I am also scared i will never see my kids/husband/family again. anyways question/rant over thank you guys 🫶.

Hey guys, I’m not gonna go into details like my age but I will say I am a young mom to two kids. My sister and I were always close growing up I would give her everything I paid for everything when I had a job. I drove her everywhere when I had a license. later into high school I started dating my now husband naturally, we became less close because that first love always has you obsessed. most people I know in high school stop spending as much time with their friends and family once they get close to their significant other. This made her feel very abandoned. I’m not gonna go into a huge amount of detail, but we are adopted. We had a very rough life before we were adopted and I was all she ever had. that being said, I didn’t hang out with her every day like we used to. She did not like this, however my husband was always very accepting, even though he didn’t like her i ended up bringing her to dates and hanging out with us. I also always let her hang out with my friends and because she didn’t have any and I felt bad. anytime she wanted anything I bought it as long as I had the money my husband always said she was using me, but I never listened because she was my little sister and I loved her. come later in life my husband and I joined the military It’s a decision we came to regret, but that’s irrelevant. My leave was used 50% to just see him and 50% to go home and see my family. We are from the same state so my husband and I would see family at the same time. My sister also did not like this. My family and I were very strained (my parents and i are much better now tho) other than my sister, which was a big reason why I did not like to go home with my leave as most people who are in the military know we only get 2.5 days of leave every month however knowing this, she would constantly guilt me that I would never come home and that I abandoned her. I tried to explain to her that it wasn’t her and that I just did not feel comfortable going home, but that did not matter(TW attempt mentioned) later I attempted to commit suicide my mental health was horrible while I was in the military. Instead of checking in on me, she got mad at me and made it about herself and about how selfish I am. I tried constantly to convince my parents to let her come to me, but they always said no. with that backstory we stopped talking for a while got a lot less close and I got a lot more close to my sister-in-law. My sister does not like my sister-in-law because of petty high school drama, which was over four years ago. My sister came to visit me two months postpartum while my husband was deployed, and the entire time she was a nightmare. she threw a fit because I wouldn’t buy her a vape even though at the time I was not 21 and I had just had a child so I did not want to risk getting in trouble trying to buy a vape illegally. she yelled at me for 30 minutes about how I sucked and how I could’ve just gone inside and got it for her. I tried to shower and every 10 minutes she pounded on the door even though it was my first shower in a week because I was completely solo parenting for a newborn who had colic everything was constantly about her and what she wanted to do. I even got tattoos with her because she wanted to do that while she was getting her tattoo she seemed like she was in pain so I asked her if she wanted me to hold her hand and she yelled STFU in front of the tattoo artist at me later I apologized because I didn’t mean to upset her and she told me that I should not have talked to her while she was in pain and then I was annoying. I eventually had it because I can only take so much being two months postpartum. I called my parents after blowing up at her (it was really bad i won’t lie) and told them to get her a flight home because I can’t do it anymore. She then proceeded to tell everybody that I abandoned her in the opposite side of the country we live in, which was not true. She pestered me to bring her to the airport every hour, even though it meant waking up my son who was already colicky and struggled to sleep. I would say no because I did not want to bring her to the airport until she had a flight, but she told everybody that I just left her in the middle of the city. I cannot defend myself which is why she told everybody that I finally hear some rumors that she said some horrible things about me and my kids so I decided to listen to them because I was just so tired of her. I cut her off for a while. My parents guilted me into giving her another chance so I did because eventually, my husband and I will come home and we didn’t want it to be awkward between the family. I give her another chance and goes well for a while, however, as she does, she made some insensitive “ joke”. My sister-in-law quit her job and spent 30 days helping me while I was on bedrest with my second child because I had preeclampsia for the second time my sister-in-law’s a godsend she’s absolutely one of the most beautiful souls I’ve ever met. Did she have some issues in high school? Sure however, don’t we all? as most girls she was a little boy obsessed so was my sister. the joke was asking who the godmother was and saying that I better not say something stupid like my sister-in-law. I took offense to this because my sister in law has been nothing but helpful. My sister then goes off about how I’m rubbing in that my sister-in-law so much better than her which I never once said all I said was that she would be worthy of the title of godmother. I stupidly argue back because I’m frustrated and our relationship is heavily strained. I eventually give up and just say good night. the next morning I make the stupid mistake of sending her how I’m disappointed in what she had to say and that I’m sorry for our end of the relationship failing, but I do not regret originally cutting her off because she was horrible to me. I also said some mean things like calling her a bitch. I am currently four months postpartum with my second child. I had a long pregnancy and I might need surgery because of how much it affected my body. I also have medical issues like pots and I most likely have lupus my husband and I have no support out here so, my mom let her know that I was feeling lonely as most people in my situation and this is what i get. she then decided to tell me in that paragraph that she reached out because she was trying to be a good sister. But the way she worded it made it seem like a guilt trip. I told her I didn’t want her pity relationship. She then proceeded to tell me that she only had a relationship with me because of the kids and that I am insufferable, and that I have a victim complex. She also told me that I treat my sister-in-law better than I have treated her, her entire life, which is more than not true. I’ve had people tell me that I do too much for her my entire life. I ended up blocking her on everything because I can’t handle having a narcissist like her in my life. It makes me sad because I wish my kids could have their aunt in their lives, but I can’t do the drama that comes with her. Everything has always been about her. I went with it, and I went with all the punches my entire life until one day. I finally snapped postpartum because I did not deserve that. my postpartum with my first son was very rough because my husband was gone I had just had preeclampsia and my blood pressure got so high while I was giving birth that I almost had a seizure. None of that mattered to her. All she cared about was going to target and getting a vape. Not only that but she left a mess in my apartment and when I would ask her to clean up, she would get mad at me. She has claimed that she’s apologized, but I do not remember her apologizing wants to be entirely honest with you and maybe she has my memory isn’t great because I am tired anyways I just don’t understand how somebody could be so horrible and manipulative. It makes me very sad because I wanted more than anything to have a relationship with her, but she is always the victim in every scenario and I just do not want that kind of energy in my life.

Hi guys, this is a throwaway account bc my husband has reddit i will not give too much info in case he sees this all i will say is we have 2 kids under 2 and we have been together over 5 years. these past years have been rocky to say the least. we both joined the navy together got married young and my first kiddo wasn’t planned (i love him with all my heart though he’s a sweet boy). we fought a lot when we were both in then i got out while pregnant and he got deployed a month later. he’s been pushing me away since the day we have gone long distance and he’s been worse and worse as time passes. i am absolutely not saying i’m perfect we have both been toxic to each other and i have done things i should not have in retaliation to him pushing me away (we have never cheated on each other emotionally or physically but there have been boundaries crossed that i will not get into for both my anonymous factor and the sake of time). we have improved slightly over the years and i love him so much which is what makes how i feel so hard. i am disabled, i have an autoimmune disorder, pots, and joint pain frequently he is currently only working 2 hours a day and then comes home and does almost nothing unless i beg for help. i am absolutely drowning between being less than 5 months postpartum with my second kiddo as well as my medical issues. i have had preeclampsia both pregnancies so they were not easy and with my daughter i messed up one of my hips. my house is constantly a mess even tho i beg for help frequently i am the only one cleaning even when i have a flare up with my health issues. i have begged, cried, yelled( i know it’s bad i shouldn’t yell no matter how upset i am i’m just at my breaking point after years of asking) and i have had calm talks telling him how i feel. he apologizes then gets better for a week then goes right back to square one. i do not want to get divorced bc he is an amazing dad the kids light up all the time when he comes home and i love him despite his many flaws (i am nowhere near perfect either) but i feel like i can’t do this anymore. i feel like my kids also deserve a mom who isn’t always crying by herself having a mental breakdown from literally drowning these past few years. i feel like he’s broken a piece of me that i never knew could break. i haven’t had an easy life and he helped build me back up from nothing and now i feel like he’s tearing me back down. he’s emotionally distant, he’s not always nice when we fight (neither am i. i am a very reactive person) and he constantly leaves stuff everywhere despite my best efforts to ask he doesn’t since i’m almost always the only one who cleans the place up. i feel like i’m loosing my mind and i’m so tired, we almost never have sex anymore (at least for us as we used to be daily but now its weekly sometimes twice a week at best) and i hardly even take care of myself anymore bc i’m so exhausted that when i have a second to myself I’m sleeping bc i feel the weight of the world constantly on my shoulders. again there’s no cheating ik it may sound like it but i am 99% sure there hasn’t been any. i just don’t know if this can be fixed anymore bc he only seems to change when I’m upset and it’s temporary. i’m just so sad and heartbroken bc this is the love of my life but i can’t keep doing this anymore. i also by no means am trying to defend his actions ik they’re bad but we have no support and he has PTSD which isn’t helping either of us or the situation.