Preface

So as a preface, we heard about maladaptive daydreaming. But we're questioning whether our daydreaming is moreso of a part that tries to comfort themselves or is playing fake traumatic daydreams due to distress. Or whether these are multiple parts that communicate through our daydreams? I can't start/stop these daydreams myself often.

We know our suspected OSDD is not daydreaming as it extends way beyond a daydream.

Kaylee's ones are the most interesting of all our daydreams. We have memory of them. And while we can daydream about the same things, it's not at the same intensity as how we experience it when she's near the front. Sometimes we find her daydreams relate to things we might be working on or have learnt.

We're unable to seek professional aid at the moment, but we really hope to... suspecting.

Kaylee [TW, multiple]

Kaylee (little; teen) only comes to the front when parents argue, or every night... She has distinct tastes to the rest of us — dark folk music, unsettling art, her own style of art and writing. She sometimes leaves the body nauseous and fuzzy.

Her daydreams always make the body yawn constantly (?), sometimes tears too.

Kaylee daydreams a repeated daydream setting. With slightly varied stories. To keep it brief as it is most definitely unsettling, she daydreams we and others are held hostage.

Sometimes, a person or people get severely harmed, and I/she/the body gets up, and following the songs she listens to, a few things can happen: we revive the people or the enemies are held down in some manner before reviving the people; or we cry out for aid and another scene unfolds.

When we had a SI part in January show up, we/she daydreamed a person wanted to harm themselves in the setting. And we got up and helped them get safe and grounded. Again, the body irl was left yawning and crying.

When we were trying to understand our repulsion to intimacy, we noticed her daydreams had material related to what we looked into or read. But they felt really up close. We saved them in all the daydreams and (in the daydreams) Kaylee asked for a comforter to handle the soothing of those who were harmed.

Daily Daydreams (part concerns, thought spirals?)

We get to some state during the day where things get hard to settle. We follow some exteroceptive grounding techniques given by a commenter before, squeezing each finger while name them, squeeze our left arm and noticing the difference between left and right. And that seems to help a lot.

We can sit for an hour and just figure things out. What we're going to say for a particular situation, what will happen and the steps we will have to go through.

This is different from communication we feel. These are like monologues (I assume?) With communication, there's a sense of presence in the front with another thought content.

The daydreams we do have the day goes, are few. But if I do get them, they are fantasy, with complete locations, etc.

Conclusion

I'm sorry for this long post, but this is something we've being thinking about these past days. We hope everyone had a more than okay week and sending hugs 🤗❤️

Hey...uhm...

Perhaps osdd or adjacent, can't get any profesional rn

I've a huge trigger rn... And I can't influence any situation around me.. for one I've got no documentation yet 🫆. The body's 22 and we've never being settled.. we're stuck as if mother finds out we reach out for help we'll get shouted at. we get locked in the house. eight years since started isolation after moving to mother...

These past eight years were like hell. We've moved more than 17 times and no owner has liked us. And it triggers parts of ours that can't do handle any of it and we can't unstuck

Mother can't care for us well. She loses track of payments and then on d day goes out and leaves us to deal with the owners... Owner's coming tomorrow and I can see screaming between her and owner... but again, she wants to leave me here, alone.. and she's not caring about searching for a place by spiritually bypassing the need... It'll sort itself out..

Two or three years ago, I think, we were home alone and owner came with a stick to chase mother's ex's dog back. He came to the gate and started banging it loud and screamed at us... I tried getting in touch of mother but her phone was silent as always....he left and came later when mother was home and she dragged me out in front of cps and police and they said they didn't care... And there was constant shouting... And a year later two other landlords did the same things...

And if it's not them fighting, it's my mother and partners who fight daily...

I can't do anything... I can't call for help.. because do I do anything, then I'm shouted at... Crisis hotline just told me to go to hospital when I had si thoughts.. thankfully I've got a written contract negotiated with parts to not think or do anything. I don't have any documents sorted, she's delayed it for 6 years keeping on saying next week.. but her money doesn't last... And I can't get a job either to support myself and see therapy

Offer help, I'm told I can't help with anything or I'm wrong. Do nothing I'm told I don't do anything. Or she blames me for things I've never done

And now owner's coming and she's not stressed... And some parts of me have a "go with the flow" vibe and they too don't care about our future....

I don't know what I'm writing on here for actually ig just some advice to manage internal parts so that maybe we'll be well...

A caretaker is offering some comfort by getting us cozy but they too can't handle things...

So I've found that it's easier to feel parts" emotions and have their thoughts with music in the headphones playing.

Not super invasive music or triggering music, but also not always instrumental.

But music that have melodies or notes of emotion, help best, like "Wanahey" and "Hero", by Águila Real, "Mama" and "One Family" by Sam Garret, "Moon Spirit " by Adrian von Ziegler.

They aren't too intrusive, but also not too far away, so more like a bridge.

Like now,

Mother will go out to do sales tomorrow and lock us in for safety. I'm good with that, but parts feel guilty for not being or doing more. And I'm sitting here reminding them it's okay as we help her with chores in the house and keep dogs fed. And that we'll help mother sort out new items tomorrow night.

Without music, I'd not be having this conversation... Not be feeling their hurt..

Hey there!

So I'm suspecting OSDD or adjacent since December; because around about that time I fell into a shadow work deep dive, especially in January, and I've had parts dialogue with me (don't know who "me" is right now), and so I assume it unblocked something in me? But I do get days when I doubt everything and can't function whatsoever

But I'm wondering whether anyone has experience in using Jungian for OSDD and DID? Or if anyone started their journey using Jungian but moved onwards into other forms of aid

I can't see a professional yet, and have done research on ICD and dsm criteria etc

Hey there..

The others might disagree on me posting.. but here goes..

So well, we can't be an adult. Or "I" can't adult. I don't know who I am in our suspectin system. I don't know where to ask for help as we have no support irl (yet, I hope) so I am asking on Reddit.

Currently I'm triggered by owner telling my mother to move. I, 22, am still stuck by my mother with no work. A part of us gets dark thoughts with the idea of work.

All I can think of is hiding and cry and distract ourselves somehow and let the adults handle it all. I can't bring out strengthen to offer feedback or stand ground because I've nothing to advise..

Now, besides this trigger:

I(?) want to walk outside and do stuff, but I(?) want to stay at home all day everyday (8 years now).

\- I want to get my life sorted, but all I want to do is nothing or YT, lay in bed. Multiple parts agree with this premise, and don't want to move because the adults will care for us.

\- Some have a idgaf attitude about life. "If it happens it happens", "as long as I'm in the room all is well".

\- Some say everything is effort and why do anything if doing nothing is better.

And more but I can't remember

And I've tried so hard to speak to them, but nothing.. they don't want to be adults. And I've even tried negotiating with them, offering to do their activity but then they resist changing... Even sometimes it's hard to get up for water, so we'll play games until we're about to explode for the toilet, and then get water too.

Another part cut our hair with scissors last night and now it's short and has gaps...

In anything that requires adult, we shrink and shake and hide and cry... And I can't get anyone to help... Even me.. I feel powerless...

— Irene (? I sound similar to her from journal in Feb)

Hey there..

The others might disagree on me posting.. but here goes..

So well, we can't be an adult. Or "I" can't adult. I don't know who I am in our suspecting system. I don't know where to ask for help as we have no support irl (yet, I hope) so I am asking on Reddit.

Currently I'm triggered by owner telling my mother to move. I, 22, am still stuck by my mother with no work. A part of us gets dark thoughts with the idea of work.

All I can think of is hiding and cry and distract ourselves somehow and let the adults handle it all. I can't bring out strengthen to offer feedback or stand ground because I've nothing to advise..

Now, besides this trigger:

I(?) want to walk outside and do stuff, but I(?) want to stay at home all day everyday (8 years now).

- I want to get my life sorted, but all I want to do is nothing or YT, lay in bed. Multiple parts agree with this premise, and don't want to move because the adults will care for us.

- Some have a idgaf attitude about life. "If it happens it happens", "as long as I'm in the room all is well".

- Some say everything is effort and why do anything if doing nothing is better.

And more but I can't remember

And I've tried so hard to speak to them, but nothing.. they don't want to be adults. And I've even tried negotiating with them, offering to do their activity but then they resist changing... Even sometimes it's hard to get up for water, so we'll play games until we're about to explode for the toilet, and then get water too.

Another part cut our hair with scissors last night and now it's short and has gaps...

In anything that requires adult, we shrink and shake and hide and cry... And I can't get anyone to help... Even me.. I feel powerless...

— Irene (? I sound similar to her from journal in Feb)

So for days I've had some neck tension and a headache building up. Nothing helped, sinus meds, headache powders, palming, slow breathing, cold press. This morning I've been playing "Mama" by Sam Garrett and Mollie Mendoza. And it kind of let a little release out 🥹

Don't know why I cried, but it felt good. Headache is lesser now

Just a post, maybe it helps someone

— ^(?)