u/Double-Draft9627

Hi! Ive been working my back now for a year, im up to 5 unassisted full range pull ups! I was checking my back progress and I feel very conflicted, on one hand I think I see some muscle, but do I look too skinny? Please be honest. Is the only reason I have some muscle visible is because im skinny, or do I actually look jacked (jacked is the goal). Any advice gratefully welcomed. Thanks :)

Im kind of not sure where to go right now, ive been working abs lots, eating lots of protein, lower calories. Does it look possible for me to get visible abs by the summer? Thats kinda my goal, but im also open to the fact and aware that maybe a) my muscles arent big enough b) not enough time to cut, or c) not possible with my body composition.

Any tips or advice gladly welcomed :)

Steak strips, laughing cow cheese, and cauliflower.

I’m scared to tell my boyfriend I’m not a virgin (please read, I could really use advice)

I’m 26F and recently divorced after leaving a religiously and emotionally abusive marriage. My ex (24M) was extremely strict about sex before marriage—we didn’t even kiss until our wedding day. When I told him early on in dating that I’d slept with people before him, he shamed me really badly for it, and I think it honestly scarred me. And being in a cult-like church made me feel condemned, guilty, self conscious.

For context, I’ve only been with a few people (less than I can count on one hand), and none of those experiences were good. The first time I was so drunk I don’t remember it, the second I was groomed as a teenager, and the third was something I did out of pity. I already had a lot of shame around it, and my ex made that so much worse. Even in our marriage, he was controlling and forceful with sex and never cared about my needs at all.

In my marriage I was dealing with really severe anxiety, depression, and had lost a lot of weight. I started getting help and ended up meeting my current boyfriend (46M) last summer. We started as friends—just emailing about music, life, and mental health—and honestly, that friendship helped me realize how unhealthy my life was and how bad my situation really was and gave me the strength to leave.

While we were friends, he mentioned he didn’t lose his virginity until he was 25. For some reason, (i guess I was afraid of being shamed even though hes 100% NOT the type of person to do that) I told him I was a virgin when I got married (I DONT KNOW WHY I SAID IT OKAY, a lot of shame i guess). The truth is he wouldn't have cared if I wasn't. I just feel horrible about it now because I really want to tell him the truth because I haven't lied about anything else, but now that I tell him, i'm worried he's gonna think other things ive told him are lies.

Now we’re together, and things are healthy and supportive in a way I’ve never experienced before. But I’m absolutely terrified to tell him that I’m not a virgin. I know logically that I shouldn’t feel ashamed, but I do. I’m scared he’ll see me differently or that it’ll change how he feels about me.

I hate that I feel this way, and I know it’s probably tied to how my ex treated me, but it’s really hard to shake.

Has anyone dealt with something similar? How do you even bring something like this up without feeling like you’re confessing something bad? I really am an honest person, so this is eating me alive.

Any advice would mean a lot. My boyfriend honestly is the best, he always wants me to be myself and be completely free, he is so supportive and loving and saved me from a life where I probably would have kms in a few years. I want to be completely open with him.