u/Double-Motor6546

This is a longtime friend of mine and recently we've gotten closer so he comes over to my house a lot and I keep noticing behaviours of his which I think are quite oblivious and maybe to some degree entitled? It just leads me to believe he might not be too bright in the head when it comes to social politics or understanding how people actually work..

For example, he frequently shows up to my sisters' rooms unannounced and initiates conversation with them, acting with a hint of "smugness" if that makes sense? The problem isn't how he talks as it's never really toxic or offensive, it's just him showing up to their rooms randomly (they're not even close, my friend has known my sister for around a few weeks or so less than a month).

He's also really suggested taking my sisters with us on trips and such and he doesn't have any underlying romantic motives, it just feels awkward to me how he'd be so eager to be around my sisters right to my face and just makes me think if he even considers whether THEY want to go or not. My sisters have frequently told me they sometimes feel annoyed by such behaviour and all (not in a harassment way, just really big annoyance.)

He also listens to stuff on his phone really loudly, approximately 70% volume always, and I've even covered my ears with pillows once yet he didn't lower his volume.

He's also been ignored by a mutual friend of ours in real life (who's a girl), and he outright says that she isn't a good person and has an inflated ego, his reasoning being her lack of desire to interact with him, but I really just think it's because he comes on too strong and gets too "buddy-buddy" with people (especially girls) too quickly.

He's also been ignored by girls on text, to the point that he asked me if women ever initiate conversations with me? Which I just found really absurd and kind of funny.

I don't think he has any creepy, lecherous, or romantic motivations.. he just tries too hard if that makes sense?

So... Could anybody tell me what they think?

The situation is more complicated than the title seems I promise 😭

To get a few things out of the way, I'm 16 and everybody in my band is in the same age group, and please tell me if I make any immature or unfair assumptions or points. Also this is gonna be a pretty long post so sorry about that as well...

With that out of the way, recently our band had a dispute that led to the departure of our lead singer and lead guitarist but we've been managing fine without them as our rhythm guitarist stepped up as our vocalist and we've mostly been playing songs without prominent guitar parts in local hubs and whatnot.

To be specific, the dispute was about our lead guitarist and vocalist being upset that some of us were not coming to practice which I don't understand because our drummer and I (the bassist) had only missed one session up to this point? I didn't handle the issue well as I'd been personally irritated by both of them at the time and made passive aggressive remarks leading to both of them saying they're quitting the band that same night.

Right a few days before this there was another tense discussion about the name of the band and the aforementioned two wanted the name to be changed as a few seniors had made some comments about it sounding unprofessional (which I don't understand again because names are subjective and ours doesn't sound unprofessional in any way to me?) and the majority of the band said that we'd be fine without it as we'd come pretty far and it'd feel awkward changing the name now. Anyways, the morning after the two of them left the band the vocalist called our drummer and said that they'll only return to the band if we changed the band name and restarted it, which I found pretty odd because it made me feel as if they only left the band to pressure and manipulate us into changing the name but our drummer disagreed and hung up.

Now this all happened two or three weeks ago, and yesterday the lead guitarist called our drummer again and said he'd return to the band if we started practicing properly and that he wants to play more shows with us as well. But I'm not so sure about letting him back in because if he were to come back I'm certain our old vocalist would tag along as well and I really don't want him there, I do have personal issues with him but I'll try to explain why without sounding unbiased.

For starters he was the one who urged the name changing and the leaving of the band, which I felt was a pretty dictatorial and manipulative move as a whole? Alongside that he's fairly authoritative of what songs we play at shows as well, telling me and the other members to learn parts without discussing them with us before and without considering whether we want to play the songs or not. He's always frequently trashtalked me and the drummer, calling our practice noise pollution and outright saying that I'm a "cheap" bassist. I feel like there's a difference between constructive criticism and just insults, and I'm a fairly new bassist (2-3 months so far) so I know I'm not the best but my point still stands. He's also got not the best vocal control and his voice frequently cracks on stage, and our current vocalist is technically superior as a whole. He's also personally insulted a few of our band members including me outside the band as well, as in personal attacks. To be really honest, he was only the vocalist because we initially had nobody and he was a friend as well... I just don't feel like letting him back in because he just brings the band down emotionally and musically.

If he comes back with the Guitarist do I outright tell him he has no place in the band? I want our Guitarist back but I'm certain the vocalist will tag along with him and nobody really wants him back in the band either. Sorry for the long post again 😭.

I'm 16 if you were wondering, and yes, the abuse began that early. It stopped when I was around 14 and she hasn't attempted to lay a finger on me since. Won't go into too much detail because I need to save something for the actual questions 😅 !

Sorry if this isn't the correct flair, anyways as the title says I've had my charger plugged into the laptop for hours now and it's still stuck at zero percent? When I remove the charger the laptop automatically dies but when I plug it in it works fine and boots up just doesn't charge. It shows that it's charging but it just won't go past 0%? This laptop is only 8 months old so I'd be really at a loss if these issues started appearing so early ☹️.

Sorry for the vague question, I'll try to clarify it better here. I was watching a video that basically went over the whole "media curation = social capital" thing and at some point the creator said that gatekeeping a creative (a band, a director, an artist etc.) hurts them more than it benefits them and the assumption was a monetary one in that gatekeeping prevents the individual from being compensated for their art but I just can't seem to understand how exactly this is hurt, aside from the fact that we're living in a society where money pays the bills. It's just that I feel like it moralizes gatekeeping as something negative simply due to a monetary need not being met?