u/DouchessFlora

I’ve been crushing on this guy for an entire school year and I felt like the way he treated me was warm at times but I could never tell if it actually meant something. Anyways the details of that time don’t matter anymore. What does matter is that after the teachers’ reunion, I thought I’d text him, and I did. Asking about a work related thing and leaving enough room for the conversation to veer off to other topics if he wanted to. Thing is, he did respond politely, wasn’t really warm. Just ok. I’m taking it as a sign of disinterest/him setting a boundary of not wanting to interact with a coworker on a personal level. And that’s okay. It’s just that I feel a bit bummed about it. I really liked this guy. Coupled with my non existent dating history and my insecurities this felt ten times worse. But at least I won’t be drowning in what ifs about this person. I can just move on.

I’ve been crushing on this guy for an entire school year and I felt like the way he treated me was warm at times but I could never tell if it actually meant something. Anyways the details of that time don’t matter anymore. What does matter is that after the teachers’ reunion, I thought I’d text him, and I did. Asking about a work related thing and leaving enough room for the conversation to veer off to other topics if he wanted to. Thing is, he did respond politely, wasn’t really warm. Just ok. I’m taking it as a sign of disinterest/him setting a boundary of not wanting to interact with a coworker on a personal level. And that’s okay. It’s just that I feel a bit bummed about it. I really liked this guy. Coupled with my non existent dating history and my insecurities this felt ten times worse. But at least I won’t be drowning in what ifs about this person. I can just move on.

A while ago I posted about my work crush. Back then I asked for opinions on whether the feelings seemed mutual or not, and for advice on how to talk to him. Since the school year is over and summer break is starting, I thought l'd update.

Some of the comments I got recommended that I actually talk to him instead of just being passive (valid), and it took me a while to actually be able to get over my nerves and start talking to him.

Nothing too big, I started saying hello first and instead of avoiding eye contact and seeming distant and nonchalant whenever he's around I tried to be more present and warm. He started initiating small talk here and there. We talked about work and the kids, nothing too personal but it was progress to me. He'd sometimes ask/ talk about things I know for a fact he knows. I'm guessing to start a conversation. It's just that sometimes it's not subtle at all. l've had instances where l'd start walking away from a conversation because I thought it was done and we have class only for him to bring up another thing, then another thing. The entire time I'm thinking "is this truly the time for this conversation?"

He's always a gentleman. Doing small things here and there that make my heart flutter. He always opens/ closes the door whenever I visit the class we both teach during his period. He’s always inviting me in even though that’s not the norm. Now as soon as he sees me walking down the hallway through the door window, he puts his hand on the door handle so as soon as I knock he opens the door, bowing down to my eye level. He says my name in every other sentence. He visibly perks up when he sees me sometimes and I can tell he wants to start a conversation. I caught him giggling twice watching me interact with kids/ staff. With eye contact, he locks eyes quick, looks away, then looks back.

I've had multiple friends at work express their opinion of him and they perceive him as someone who is a bit stand off ish.

Still, the school year kind of ended abruptly and we have nothing personal tying us together after seven months of forced proximity (granted I only really started interacting with him 3 weeks ago). I can't help but assume that there's nothing, I'm just reading too much into things because I like him.

And that's just it. Without work, there are no more interactions. I genuinely feel sad that this led to nowhere, but at least I learned to be more open when interacting with guys.

A while ago I posted about my work crush. Back then I asked for opinions on whether the feelings seemed mutual or not, and for advice on how to talk to him. Since the school year is over and summer break is starting, I thought l'd update.

Some of the comments recommended that I actually talk to him instead of just being passive (valid), and it took me a while to actually be able to get over my nerves and start talking to him.

Nothing too big, I started saying hello first and instead of avoiding eye contact and seeming distant and nonchalant whenever he's around I tried to be more present and warm. He started initiating small talk here and there. We talked about work and the kids, nothing too personal but it was progress to me. He'd sometimes ask/ talk about things I know for a fact he knows. I'm guessing to start a conversation. It's just that sometimes it's not subtle at all. l've had instances where l'd start walking away from a conversation because I thought it was done and we have class only for him to bring up another thing, then another thing. The entire time I'm thinking "is this truly the time for this conversation?"

He's always a gentleman. Doing small things here and there that make my heart flutter. He always opens/ closes the door whenever I visit the class we both teach during his period. He’s always inviting me in even though that’s not the norm. Now as soon as he sees me walking down the hallway through the door window, he puts his hand on the door handle so as soon as I knock he opens the door, bowing down to my eye level. He says my name in every other sentence. He visibly perks up when he sees me sometimes and I can tell he wants to start a conversation. I caught him giggling twice watching me interact with kids/ staff. With eye contact, he locks eyes quick, looks away, then looks back.

I've had multiple friends at work express their opinion of him and they perceive him as someone who is a bit stand off ish.

Still, the school year kind of ended abruptly and we have nothing personal tying us together after seven months of forced proximity (granted I only really started interacting with him 3 weeks ago). I can't help but assume that there's nothing, I'm just reading too much into things because I like him.

And that's just it. Without work, there are no more interactions. I genuinely feel sad that this led to nowhere, but at least I learned to be more open when interacting with guys.

Edit: to add a bit of context, initiating something as a girl is a bit tricky in my society. As we are VERY conservative. It’s constricting. I can’t just give him my number casually. What I might be able to do is add him on instagram but even then I have a few reservations about this… his cousin’s (also a co worker) account is public and from what I’ve gathered he doesn’t follow girls at all, and knowing my crush it’s probably the same for him too. I’d feel like trash if I requested a follow and he didn’t accept 🥀.