My J
Dear JM,
I never thought I would have to write a letter like this and especially to you of all people.
For so long, I loved you with everything I had. I showed up. I stayed when things were hard. I fought for us when it would have been easier to walk away. I gave my loyalty, my trust, my patience, and my heart. I believed that if I loved you enough, if I was understanding enough, if I kept choosing us, then it would be enough to protect what we had.
But now I find myself standing in the wreckage of a truth I never wanted to face.
You cheated.
And the hardest part isn’t just what happened. It’s what it has made me question about myself.
I keep replaying every moment, wondering what I missed. Wondering if I should have been prettier, softer, stronger, less emotional, more attentive. Wondering if there was some version of me that could have loved you so completely that you never would have looked elsewhere.
The truth I struggle with every day is the feeling that my love wasn’t enough.
I gave you the best parts of me. The parts I don’t hand out freely. The parts that trusted you to protect them. I believed in you when others didn’t. I stood beside you through storms. I chose you again and again, even when I was hurting.
And somehow, despite all of that, you still made a choice that broke us.
What hurts is that I wasn’t asking for perfection. I wasn’t asking for a fairytale. I was only asking for honesty, loyalty, and respect. The bare minimum should never have felt like too much to ask.
There are days when I look in the mirror and wonder why I wasn’t enough for you.
But deep down, I know that isn’t the right question.
The real question is why the love I gave wasn’t enough for you to value what you already had.
Because the truth is that I was enough.
My love was enough.
My loyalty was enough.
My commitment was enough.
What wasn’t enough was whatever emptiness existed inside you that no amount of love from me could fill.
That is the part I am still learning to accept.
I hate that your choices have made me doubt myself. I hate that they have made me question my worth when I spent years trying to build a life with you. I hate that I can love someone so deeply and still end up feeling discarded for someone who doesn’t compare.
But I refuse to carry responsibility for choices that were never mine.
You made them.
Not me.
I was faithful. When it mattered.
I was present. When I wasn’t appreciated.
I was honest. When I wanted to lie.
I loved you. When you loved everyone else.
And if that wasn’t enough to stop you from betraying me, then the problem was never a lack of love on my part.
The tragedy is that I gave you something real, and you risked it.
I don’t know what comes next. I don’t know if trust can be rebuilt or if some wounds are simply too deep. What I do know is that I deserve a love that doesn’t leave me questioning my value.
I deserved honesty.
I deserved respect.
I deserved faithfulness.
And no matter what happens between us from this day forward, I need you to understand one thing:
I was never too little.
I was never not enough.
I loved you with my whole heart.
And if you chose to betray that, the loss is not a reflection of my worth.
It is a reflection of your choice.
If you don’t choose to make things right….i guess it’s farewell my dear friend.
Sincerely
A