u/DragonflyFew2965

My partner is leaving for almost a week on a 20 hour road trip to help his mother move and I’m getting so worked up about I’m getting physically sick. For context, I’m going through trauma therapy and have been diagnosed with panic disorder paired with CPTSD with adult separation anxiety. I go once a week and have been for 3 years, but just moved to a new therapist because of insurance issues.

I’m just dreading everything. I never used to be like this before a few years ago. now I’m a mess when he leaves. I’m going to be alone. I’m terrified for him on the road. I’ve tried so many different things to ground but nothing seems to work unless I sedate myself with medication. I hate this.

My partner is leaving for almost a week on a 20 hour road trip to help his mother move and I’m getting so worked up about I’m getting physically sick. For context, I’m going through trauma therapy and have been diagnosed with panic disorder paired with CPTSD with adult separation anxiety. I go once a week and have been for 3 years, but just moved to a new therapist because of insurance issues.

I’m just dreading everything. I’m going to be alone. I’m terrified for him on the road. I’ve tried so many different things to ground but nothing seems to work unless I sedate myself with medication. I hate this.

I’m just needing to vent this out. on one hand I feel like a complete jerk for feeling this way, but another side of me feels what I’m feeling is extremely valid.

my MIL is very manipulative and puts on the act of not “needing” anything from anyone, but completey contradicts herself by calling my partner over to change a friggin light bulb, interrupting our time as a family for something so trivial. Its been an ongoing thing since her husband has passed away and I have overlooked it until now because I feel like she uses these as excuses to see her grown child. even though I’ve invited her over countless times for family dinners and events for her not to show up for anything. it’s just weird.

Anyway, she has decided to move across the country on a whim. It all happened quickly and volunteered her children to help, which of course they are willing, but she picked the absolute most terrible time to move across country. My partner has to take a week off work for this, as they are DRIVING. The loss of income is going to hit us hard. Not to mention she wasnt willing to bend to a later date when we had logistics figured out. Mind you, this isn’t an emergency move. She could have done this at any time. She works from home. and has been renting from a friend for 12 years with no push to leave. Now we get to spend our holiday weekend stressed out in 120 degree heat. I’m not going and helping on this trip, I opted not to because we have children and animals. Also, financially it would kill us this month. I just feel completely angry at this whole situation because it’s so unnessesary and had to be her way, even though she couldn’t do this without our help. And now I have the burden of stress to deal with everything on my own for a week because she couldn’t comprimise.

Just venting. I’m probably an asshole here. I know it.

EDIT: well. Maybe y’all are on to something. Now I feel even more stupid.