u/DramaticMaintenance5

I’m 19 (F) still trying to figure out if I was emotionally neglected growing up or if I’ve developed a victim mentality. My parents have provided for me materially but I never felt connected to them. We get along sometimes but I’m very uncomfortable and fearful around my dad especially. He’s just like another person I live with. He was always very angry growing up but I know he was stressed with work and took it out on us. He also wasn’t raised in an emotional household and I think he brought that on me. I struggle with my mental health a lot and he always dismissed it with a “get over it mentality”. My mom on the other hand is very sensitive but also dismissed my struggles. She seemed to never side w me or support me. She was always very critical of me (and herself). Regarding my mental health.. she would try to act like it wasn’t real (even after I attempted) it was kind of dismissed as me trying to ruin their lives. Idk tho because sometimes we’re fine and they try to be supportive but this has only improved after my mental health became severe. I don’t remember a lot of my childhood but I can’t remember feeling loved especially with any form of physical touch. I’m still uncomfortable with hugs or anything. Being around my friends with their parents made me sad. Wondering why I didn’t have that. To this day, I dread when they come home and I’d rather be alone but I do love them. I also have been looking at signs you were emotionally neglected.. some I’ve experienced:
I always think I’m inherently wrong. I feel bad for my existence.
I’m not able to maintain healthy relationships
I can’t express my feelings or emotions without feeling uncomfortable (even w friends)
I’m constantly filled with shame and fear
I can’t ask for help
People pleasing and overly apologetic
I’ve also hated myself for as long as I can remember. Etc etc
Anyway. Any advice or input is welcome.

Helloooo. Been struggling with an ed for some years and I’m finally moving away from home to go to college. I know I need to work on it but I hope the new environment helps. Just looking for similar experiences and what it looked like for you

I’ve felt like this my whole life honestly. Throughout childhood I always felt so different from my family and friends. That being said, I grew up in a big family and had a decent amount of childhood friends so I feel bad even saying that I was lonely. I still feel like this today though. I can’t open up to people, I feel uncomfortable asking for help, I always try to figure things out on my own. Not necessarily because I want to, but because I think I need to. I haven’t been in a relationship bc of this. Maybe I need to open myself up to other people, but I just feel so uncomfortable letting people in because I’m so used to being on my own. But I really wonder why since I’ve always been surrounded by people growing up. Idk there’s just always been a disconnect between me and everyone else. Okay rant over