u/Dramatic_Nose_8924

Ok a saw this tiktok clip of the movie Tully (2018) and it was basically this nanny who came at nights to help this post partum mom, and it shows how relieved and calmer the mother gets with the nanny's presence and also their cute interactions. Unfortunately its not gay and the nanny is a figment of the mother's imagination, its a whole story.

But I really think that that should've been a gay story so I really need recs right now!! Books, fics, manhwas whatever, just give it to me now!!!!! It can be a cute romance, smutty, a thriller, a horror story, i just need them to get very close like that and to want each other!

I just need to rant about this since thats the only outlet I have for this lol.

So, long story short, I start liking this girl, im down bad, I shoot my shot, I get ghosted; but thats not the problem! The problem is that apparently ill only get rid of this sickly feeling if I get to touch her, wich wont happen lmao.

And now my situation is im frustrated as frick and getting mental flashes of her every day, SEND HELP!! ITS BEEN MONTHS!!!

And the best part is that maybe ill see her at some point this month if she accepts my friends invitation, at first I said that it was fine, ITS NOT FINE, ill pass out and throw up, and start shaking like a chihuahua in heat.

I need to get rid of these feelings right now but unfortunately for me the girls is absolutely hot and amazing so I kind of relapse every now and then when I hear or see her name. This is not funny bro heeeeelp

Idk if this is the right place to talk about it but I feel like someone here might understand where im coming from better.

So im a cis woman and I've always been socialized as a woman and I have no problems with that at all, I like feminine things and pronouns, but after accepting my attraction to women and learning more about the lesbian and sapphic world I've noticed something different...

Like, Ive always thought that moments in wich i dont really feel like a woman had to do with insecurity in my appearance because I think women are so beautiful and im not, but there's genuinly moments of fluctuation where im really feminine and girly but then there are moments in which I like being more masculine when dressing and presenting myself.

But what really is making me think is that I recently started talking to more people on this art group chat im in and I have a masculine nickname so they think im a guy and they use masculine pronouns with me and it dosent bother me at all, I even like it so I dont correct them.

I guess I just wanted to vent about it and hear from sapphics or leabians that have a similar experience maybe.

Comecei a usar o serum da The Ordinary no final do ano passado e desde então minhas espinhas e a textura na minha testa diminuíram muito, além de ajudar com a oleosidade da zona t, mas não tenho como comprar o serum de novo e queria saber de alguma alternativa boa e que seja mais em conta

Im already completely drained all because I decided to watch a movie and all of a sudden im faced with my biggest obsession theme on screen. I didn't stop watching it because that would mean that it affected me so I decided to keep watching "and ignore it" but in reality I was just checking and testing myself again and didn't even pay attention to the movie.

It never ends, I've been testing myself for almost a year now and it never brings any answers, but I keep harming myself with it. I feel like if I find the answer now ill be ahead of it and be better but it just makes me feel miserable and empty.

The day just started and I just want to sleep.

First of all, happy pride!!! I, however, im not happy so to me its just pride.

Because in my delusional plans I fantasized about having some sort of relationship with this girl at this point, but said girl is too busy flirting with other girls, sometimes in front of me, and never with me... so im seeing now why some people don't like blondes.

Now im fantasizing about going to pride parades and letting the cute lesbian couples know that I too was happy once, but now Im a jealous and frustrated "girlfriend" because my "girlfriend" doesn't want me anymore.

Im just confused about this because i might be overthinking it or it might be linked to ocd or anxiety, but its like my nervous system dosent do really well with sensations and feelings. Anything that I feel sends my body into panic mode, im never just hungry or sleepy, I feel like im going to pass out or have a stroke over the most normal things a human can experience and feel.

I joke that I have the nervous system of a chihuahua because of this lol. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night slightly panicking about whether what im feeling is a panic attack, a stroke or if im just cold. Even when I think im relaxed and I dont feel any tension in my body my brain goes into alert mode because something might be wrong.

And lately disgust and discomfort makes me feel weird things happening inside my brain, like I can feel something really bad fisically happening in there, is horrible, and then I get this weird "tic" like things. I feel like im always shaking but then I check and im not but my body almost feels like a whole agony.

Idk does someone else experience the same things? What causes all of it?

So, we all grew up with the heterosexual relationships being the only thing everywhere right, so I never really understood when they would talk about those intense feelings you know; the want, the need, lovesickness and the bone deep aching. I thought it was all so exaggerated and unreal, even in my teenage years where I read romance books the most, it was still a very ridiculous thing for me.

But I wanted to apologize for my ignorance 'cus now I get it ok! I feel it all for this one girl and It is that intense, and I swore to myself I wouldn't ramble about her to people anymore but I really really need to get this out of my chest.

I daydream and fantasize about her quite often and its so spontaneous, even her profile picture on instagram is enough to get me weak.

And the possibility of something happening between us is very VERY low, so im basically cooked lol