I don’t think my mom understand autism (vent)
Ok, so I’m not sure whether I’m just being stubborn or a ”brat“ or not. Anyways let me just get into the point.
First, I like to wear the same 3 pants and the same 3 shirts because those pieces of clothing are the only ones that I like and are comfortable and I also make sure I wash the clothes regularly. But my mom says I need to wear my other clothes, even though most of the stuff barely fits me/isn’t comfortable, doesn’t fit my style, and bought of (which is ironic since she calls herself a punk and punks are against fast fashion, but whatever), and I hate how shein clothes feel. Not to mention my family tells me to tell them if I don’t like clothes that are bought for me when I try them on, but when I do…they just tell me that i should keep it just in case and then get mad when I don’t want to wear the clothes. My mom also tries to make me wear clothes I don’t like and calls me ungrateful when I say they are uncomfortable. She that I should just go shopping with her even though she never offers to take me shopping and if I ask her she still won’t do it. So anyways, I try to tell her that one of my autistic traits is that I don’t like the way certain things feel, I don’t like how the other clothes feel on my body its too tight and I don’t like the style. Sh says that autism isn’t an excuse and i should get over myself and just “wear the damn clothes” I mean, you could take into consideration that i like soft, oversized/baggy clothes (i especially like to wear band shirts of bands I ACTUALLY LIKE and baggy jeans) so that you can find clothes like that easier. But no, my mom wants me to wear skinny jeans and tight clothes and dress like a 2010s hipster because that’s what she likes. Also my mom takes away the clothes I like and even other things like a sound machine or a comfort stuffed animal as a punishment, which I don’t know what to think about that.
The second thing is the fact that she tells me that nobody cares when I talk about my special interest. One time I was at one of her friends house and I was talking about Cookie Run Kingdom and my mom said “Hey, sorry but can you be quiet, nobody really wants to hear about a mobile game.” Im sorry, I know you consider yourself as “just being honest“ but you don’t have to be so rude about it. And she criticizes ME and OTHER PEOPLE for how they can come of as rude when my mom is constantly saying rude and negative things about other people even ones she considers HER FRIENDS! Like I want her to shut up about how her “friends” piss her off but I just sit back and let her vent to me because I dont wanna make her mad or hurt her feelings. It’s like my mom cant say anything nice about people because shes just so judgemental and snobby and yet she hates judgemental and snobby people herself (and sometimes i can be a little judgemental, but at least i can recognize it and try not to be like that) And even if I don’t care about what someone is saying to me, I still listen and try to be attentive in the conversation because i know what it’s like to feel like nobody cares about what you have to say and I know what if feels like to be told to shut up, i wouldn’t want to make anyone else feel that way.
The third thing my mom doesn’t understand that I am sensitive to loud noises and just passes it off as immaturity. Like i absolutely hate yard work noises, dogs barking, people yelling at me, etc. And when I cover my ears or put on my headphones and hide in the bathroom (which is something my dad suggests) she just tells me, “You’re not a little kid, you can get over it” and not to mention my mom constantly yells when things don’t go her way. She yells at me, she yells at people driving, she yells a lot, and I have to put up with it. And my mom doesn’t even try to change. The weird thing is that my mom calls herself “autistic” when she literally doesn’t understand autism or seem to accept the traits that come with it, or maybe my mom is autistic i don’t know.
I’m sorry for this whole speech. I may just be acting like a brat, I don’t know. And obviously I love my mom. I needed to vent about this.