Hey guys. I stopped preparing for a while for banking/insurance exams.
Anyone has any idea when insurance exams are going to happen in 2026? Also any idea about general vacancies?
I'm not even sure if exams have happened already 🥲
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Lately I’ve been feeling emotionally exhausted and deeply unhappy with myself. I don’t feel optimistic about my future at all. It feels like everyone around me is happier, better looking, more confident, financially stable, and actually enjoying life while I’m stuck hating everything about myself.
I constantly focus on my appearance flaws my forehead, hairline, skin tone, facial asymmetry, nose, body, everything. Even when I try to distract myself, my brain keeps coming back to these thoughts. It’s exhausting living with this level of self-criticism every day.
I also feel like my personality has become dull over time. I don’t feel excited about life, relationships, or my future anymore. Most days I just feel empty and disconnected from everyone else.
I don’t even know what I’m expecting from posting this. Maybe I just wanted to say it somewhere people might understand.
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What do I do to just feel okay? I don't understand what I'm going through. Everything is hurting me. Everything is stinging. I hate talking to people. I'm cutting off ties with old friends. I am becoming so fucking hateful towards everyone. I doubt everyone's intentions. I want to hurt them sometimes, but I never do. I feel so much guilt sometimes that I just wish someone would beat me to death. When I wake up in the morning, I feel so heavy in my heart. I feel like I don't deserve to breathe. I don't deserve to open my eyes. I don't deserve to drink water or eat food or feel alive. I hate every second of my existence so much that I just wish it ended, like I'd disappear from this world. I don't feel any kind of romantic attraction towards anyone. I feel lust but not romance. I feel like, why would anyone love me? Why would anyone sleep with me? Why would anyone even want me? I feel so hopeless about life. The thought of life itself is giving me anxiety. I don't know what living normally feels like. I'm always anxious, always overthinking. My eyes are always burning. I keep thinking what the fuck I'm doing, and I have a constant urge to get a release because of which I'd overeat, drink sugary drinks, or watch porn and masturbate a lot, and then I'd end up feeling more empty. I don't know if this will get better ever. I'm losing hope.
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What do I do to just feel okay? I don't understand what I'm going through. Everything is hurting me. Everything is stinging. I hate talking to people. I'm cutting off ties with old friends. I am becoming so fucking hateful towards everyone. I doubt everyone's intentions. I want to hurt them sometimes, but I never do. I feel so much guilt sometimes that I just wish someone would beat me to death. When I wake up in the morning, I feel so heavy in my heart. I feel like I don't deserve to breathe. I don't deserve to open my eyes. I don't deserve to drink water or eat food or feel alive. I hate every second of my existence so much that I just wish it ended, like I'd disappear from this world. I don't feel any kind of romantic attraction towards anyone. I feel lust but not romance. I feel like, why would anyone love me? Why would anyone sleep with me? Why would anyone even want me? I feel so hopeless about life. The thought of life itself is giving me anxiety. I don't know what living normally feels like. I'm always anxious, always overthinking. My eyes are always burning. I keep thinking what the fuck I'm doing, and I have a constant urge to get a release because of which I'd overeat, drink sugary drinks, or watch porn and masturbate a lot, and then I'd end up feeling more empty. I don't know if this will get better ever. I'm losing hope.