Finally going to therapy
It’s time I stopped chasing a relationship that will clearly never come. It took me getting sober, becoming chronically ill, and a lot of time alone to realize that sometimes your parents just don’t know how to be parents. Some parents will never take accountability for their actions towards you, some will gaslight you into thinking you weren’t a “good child” instead of taking ownership of their lack of parenting. Some will come with a half-assed apology while truly seeking pity. Some will simply deny the past because the truth is too hard for them to swallow.
I finally had the realization that I can ask for a better relationship over and over, continue to show forgiveness, and still won’t be met half way. That is the second hardest realization to have in all of this. The first is realizing when it’s time for me to stop chasing and walk away. And I feel like today is that day.
In just a couple hours I’m going to a therapy consultation for the first time and I’m really hoping an outside perspective will help me learn how to move on and not live my life feeling like I’ll never meet some unrealistic expectations of two people who don’t even know me as an adult- and honestly never cared to.
Money doesn’t determine your worth.
Asking for basic respect from the people who created you is not too much to ask for.
Being told you’re not enough by a parent is a projection of their own failures.
It’s time to move on.
60/40 lamb/beef patty, tzatziki, sautéed red cabbage, feta, balsamic marinated tomato, cilantro, chiltepin peppercorn sauce on a challah bun