my stepmom's obsessive control
Context: My dad (not biological, but raised me) married my stepmother when I was 12. She has always hated my sister and me because of our biological mom, who was a sex worker. Even though I haven't lived with my mom since I was 3 and don't like her, my stepmom constantly called her a whore to my face and projects that hatred onto me.
Growing up, she started petty "cleaning wars" (losing her mind over a drop of dish soap or water drops in the sink), forcing me to eat at friends' houses. She watches me constantly just to find things to complain about to my dad. Because of her jealousy, my dad won't even hug or show affection to me when she's in the room. I’m 22 now and still trapped here because my dad begs me not to leave—he's terrified she won't take care of him if I go. I've had enough and am finally planning to move out.
I was diagnosed this year realizing this environment has triggered severe depression and OCD. Surprisingly, my stepmom actually encouraged me to get a cat to help with my mental health. I love my cat, but her passive-aggressive behavior started almost immediately:
- Day 3: She claimed I "coddled" him because I checked on him during my work lunch breaks (he was less than a month old n in my room the whole time).
- Week 1: She told me to wash his dishes in the bathroom sink (which I was already doing).
- Week 2: She accused me of lacking "common sense about bacteria" and told me to wash them on the porch. even tho shes the one that told me to do it in my bathroom... I agreed to respect boundaries, but she still lied to my dad and told him I threw a fit about it.
Now, my dad told me to just keep the cat in my bedroom to avoid conflict. But because my stepmom started sleeping in the living room, my cat is effectively trapped in my room 24/7. I feel terrible keeping an animal confined, so I constantly have to take him on walks, car rides, or to my boyfriend’s house just so he can socialize and have space. I’m just so exhausted by her controlling personality shes had on me my whole life. Am i crazy in this, i usually am the one to always confront and communicate, should i converse about it or just leave the tension as is and worry about simply moving out ?