u/DummyAccount0069

Yaar dekho bilkul 0 padhke gaya tha, i was ashamed koi college wala baat bhi nahi kr rhe the except donation dekr, CAP mein apply krne tak ki sharam aa rhi thi

Took drop - Biggest Mistake FOR AN INDISPLINE CHILD LIKE ME

And got 98.xx ile

Wasted whole year of drop, last ke 4 mahine mein gand faad padha

Conclusion-

1. Good ile in JEE And CET - TAKE DROP OR COLG.

2. GOOD ile in JEE but not in CET - Can take drop if you think JEE se acha colg milega

3. BAD At Both - My heart breaks to say this but Bsc.BCA karlo yaa fir donation dekr BTech

i wont sugarcoat, but drop year depressing to hota hai, specially mere jaise ke liye tha 3 category, na padhne walo ke liye toh pucho mt, pagal ho jata hai aadmi if dont love studying...

lelo koi aur colg, its okay, koi degreee choti nahi hoti

MINE WAS JUST PURE LUCK, EVEN I SAY IT LOUD , BAGHWAAN KA THODA BHOT HAAT THA ISILIYE TOP 5 COLG MEIN HOGAYA...

any doubts puch lo, might be reply in comments

I'll be cut to point

• They love that "beta humare control mein hai ekdum", shout and cuss me infront of neighbours/relativesguests
• They expect respect, but dont love to give it to me
• My small mistakes are made me feel i did something horribly wrong
• Father anger issues are on diffrent level, as 20 M , i still fear him
• They think i always lie (i will explain that in comment section)
• Can't take fight with them, cause firr papa paise nahi denge

BUT WHAT??

• Few moments in my life were good with them, like they do 8/10 that make me angry/victim etc and rest 2/10 are good memories, makes me guilt trip myself
• "Maa baap aur bade tumhara acha hi sochte hai", ik that, but that 'accha' varies, but i dont know how to counter it
• I feel bad when i shout at them, thinking they have done all for me and father does a job, how can i say him like that

That Anger in getting inside my head, and im getting mad and mental

NEGETIVE'S

• Im getting anger issues like my father, i get angry very very quickly on my friends
• Always living on edge of survival like my mom
• I LOVE TO BE THE GUEST AT MY OWN HOME...now vacations are going, i dont know how will i live 20 days more with my parents