u/EasternGreen5250 — reddlx

AITA- I (22F) am reconsidering my son’s godparents & idk if I am over reacting.

My husband (25M) and I chose his cousin and cousin’s wife as godparents for our baby son. We picked them because we saw them as humble, kind, and family-oriented people.

Recently, I traveled with the wife (“Sue”) and our kids. Before the trip, she offered for me to ride with her and her dad to/from the airport so I wouldn’t struggle alone with my baby. I agreed and even gave gas money. On the way home, I originally had another ride planned, but she again told me to just ride back with them.

After we got home, her husband called mine saying I owed her $120 for the ride home. I was upset because nobody mentioned a payment beforehand, and I would’ve just used my original ride if I knew.

During the trip, I also noticed a side of Sue I had never really seen before. She constantly talked about prices, expensive items, and making sure people saw her as “well off.” It honestly made me uncomfortable because I valued humility in the people around my son.

Now we’re planning the baptism. She originally volunteered to help with decor, but after I sent her a vendor I found online, she immediately told me to just book them because she didn’t think she’d have enough time due to her business preparing for a holiday.

None of these things alone are huge, but together they’ve made me question whether we rushed choosing them as godparents.

Would I be wrong for asking them to step down before the baptism?

Hello everyone, this is my first post. I have never used reddit before, but my brother encouraged me to come on here to see what people might encourage me to do. hold on tight, this will be long. lol

For context, my husband (25) and I decided to baptize my ONLY son (6 months ) ASAP due to my husbands uncertain circumstances. He has some issues with the law and is uncertain if he will go away for some time. So this pushed us to baptize my son, so my husband could be there for one of my sons important milestone.

A little background on our relationship with my/our friend, lets call her '' SUE '', so Sues husband (29) is my husbands cousin. My friend Sue (cousins wife), is my step sisters half sister. aka my step dad is Sues, half sister's dad. They share the same mom, just different dads. So our friendship is close on both sides, as friends and family. I have known Sue for about 6 years, the length of my husbands & I relationship. We met through my step sister.

Now going onto the story,

I have been in a bit of a doubt with having them as my son's godparents, more so of Sue. Her husband not so much, quiet man. (For more info, I had let my husband chose who he wanted as our sons godparents, as long as I agreed to them.) He decided to go with his cousin and his wife ( SUE ). I have never felt a doubt of our friendship or their commitment to our son, until now.

Sue and I recently took a trip with our sons, (she only has 1 kid, below the age of 6). We went out of the country.

I have always seen her as a humble person. She is very sweet and has always been there for me and may family. She was there my entire pregnancy( I had a rough pregnancy). She has always been a person I can count on, as she would feel the same for me. I have never felt excluded in any way and there has never been any type of competition in materialistic things. She has always been very supportive on milestones that one has accomplished ( EX: buying a new car) stuff like that. Which has always been some the things I like of her.
We have always been treated equally, never more or less.

Our husbands both work, she works, I am a STAHM. Both of our husbands work in the same field, my husband has been working in the field a longer than hers, he makes more money than her husband, but I have never brought that up in a convo with her since it doesn't matter ( this info will make more sense later on in the story). I am not the type to make someone feel less or more for they/myself have or don't have.

I have never felt a type of differentially We have a pretty good bond and I have never seen or portrayed her in a different way until now.

So on this trip, she was an entire different person towards other people. We went to an area where our income( based on our husbands salary) here in the US is maybe 15-20x more in that country. Among us being around our family there, she portrayed herself as a person of money. She made aware she is definitely from a country/ place of money. When in reality we both know how much our income is and I just feel like she wanted to portray herself as more.

I felt very uncomfortable because this was a person who I had thought was very humble and not a type to make others feel less. Some of her points on wearing/ showing off materialistic things were " making sure other people knew she had money and was coming from the US". Well, in my head I thought this was very absurd and dumb. When I would view her as someone who treated people equally.

When I had agreed to her and her husband to be my son's godparents, I agreed to them because I had always viewed them as good people. People who would treat others the equally. So these actions disappointed me.

Other reasons I have been in a bit of a doubt have been because, she was the one who told me to pick a date for the event. I had worked arounds everyone's schedules and decided on a date. Well turns out that the day I picked happen to land a day before a major holiday.

On major holidays like those, she goes out and sells custom made items to be gifted. When I mentioned the day I had chosen she stopped me and said she was not going to be available to help me decorate and arrange the stuff for the day because she was going to be prepping to be selling her stuff the day after. ( the items she sells are custom made and need time). I had told her that I was okay with it and had no problem with her putting her business first. She has mentioned she was going to do ALL of the balloon decorations, regardless of her having to do her items for her business that day. I had let her know that if she wasn't able to do it, I could find someone else. She reassured me and told me it was okay, she was going to do it.

TL;DR Fast forwards a couple weeks, I was scrolling through Facebook and saw someone promoting balloons the theme of my son's party. I sent it to her to see if he would say anything like for me to rent it, or if she was still going to commit to doing the balloons herself. She then said to hire them because she " doesn't think she will have enough time at the end to do any balloons because of her items she will be selling ". I didn't think much of it, but then I realized that if I had never sent it to her; she never would've told me she wasn't going to do them at the end. So it disappointed me a bit.

There have been other events but this is just a short sum. I just don't want my son to think that these actions are okay. Maybe I am just going on a rant here? I don't know how to reddit so please comment on more back up info or missing keypoints. Thank you.