u/Ecstatic_Goal2023

That's it. Can't stand it. If I never told you I want to be called that, why do you call me that? When people do I make it clear I prefer my name and usually they accept it, which I appreciate and move on from. But, why not ask me first instead of just assuming I go by that because you know other people of the same name who like it?

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When I first got diagnosed I was almost happy because I finally have a solution to fix my stomach problems. But no, I'm so fucking upset. I can't eat normal I can't just grab a snack from the pantry anymore every snack is so expensive and we can't afford it for the tiny amount you get. So the past few days maybe week ish I've just been hungry, I don't know what to do. I don't even miss the taste of food before I don't even hate the alternatives I just can't deal with the inconvenience of it, I thought it'd just be a regular diet and I'd be fine but I'm losing my mind a little bit.

My biggest feeling right now is being hungry and not knowing what to eat, so I just don't.

My parents say we probably won't go to restaurants very often anymore, I barely know how to cook and now I'm gonna have to figure out how not to cross contaminate but I fucking knew my family wasn't going to be able to keep up with cleaning we're all a bunch of lazy fucking slobs and my mom was so serious about this before and it's almost like she's forgotten already. I'm so sick of this, as long as my family is feeding me it's like they forget I'm stuck. "Oh shes been fed, look at us go" and they're done, that's it, all they had to do was cook me special food and spend money and their hardship is done while I'm stuck here still celiac and scared and hungry.

I also feel like my dad is acting like this is worse for them than it is for me, "so expensive" like fuck I know I feel like such shit making you pay for food so I don't get fucking cancer, as if I want this. The other day I asked if at the end of our walk go stop at a store to get food because I wanted some, I think a very reasonable request. My dad goes "no I'm not buying you a snack every time you want it because it's expensive, we have vegetables at home" VEGETABLES?? I WANT FOOD WHOLE FOOD. I WANTED SOMETHING FOR SUPPER NOT A SNACK. pretty sure we had spaghetti that night but I didn't know that was the plan when I asked for food so idk why he was so annoyed. He also lost his shit trying to make my noodles because it was all globby and weird but all it needed was to be rinsed.

I thought I was supposed to gain weight on this diet because you're malnourished before but I've gone down like four pounds which isn't a lot and is a normal fluctuation I'm just so hungry and the only thing to eat is gf bread, wraps, left over spaghetti, vegetables, frozen fruit and some snacks; veggie straws, veggie crisps and rice crackers but those get really old pretty quick, so dry. I know there's lots of options I just don't want them, and that's all I have, I need more options, I can't just eat bread and wraps and veggies. I don't even remember what I ate before and I only started this diet like a week ago. What did I enjoy, was I always hungry and I'm only noticing now? I know I've always complained about the lack of variety in our diet but I have even less now.

I don't want to do this anymore, I'm so hungry, today I had bacon which was gross and I thought I was gonna throw up because it was so greasy and a GF quesadilla with peppers because that's basically the extent of my cooking abilities.

I'm still really upset about the cross contamination thing right so when we first get the diagnosis my mom's like "we gotta do this this and this" and I know barely anything she said that wasn't a one time purchase would actually stick. And what do you know, I was right. We were going to clean the fridge, didn't happen, clean the silverware container because it's full of crumbs, didn't happen. She bought me some of my own spreads and today told me I can eat mayo and I said yes but ours has crumbs in it and she went "ooh right.." but that's it, obviously that's it, what are we gonna do about it, I just won't eat the mayo.

Also at the beginning I wasnt taking it as serious but now I feel like I have to, and so at first my mom asked if I should get my own frying pan and I thought that was overkill but today I was thinking I probably should just to be safe and I only need a cheap one anyway. But she was like just use this one, I rarely use it, YOU rarely use it and it shouldn't matter. Why all of a sudden is this not an option when you came up with the idea before, why is it not necessary now that I suggest it. I'm the one with the disease.

But anyway, tomorrow we're going to get GF peirogi because that's the thing I've been missing the most. And I used to have an almost constant supply of them, but now I'm guessing they'll be a once in a while thing. But who knows maybe we'll keep stock again, until I inevitably get sick of them as I do everything.

Another thing really eating away at me is the culture of food, it's something that brings people together, I loved receiving food from people because I never eat anything genuinely delicious at my house and when I'd go to a friend's house of a different culture and get to try their food it was such a great feeling. Even if I didn't like it, I still got to try something I'd never seen before that was something my friends enjoyed. I'm really going to miss eating at other people's houses.

Also my family isn't bad I'm just pissed off right now so I'm only talking about the bad things.

I'm also aware I probably sound really privileged and whiny but I'm upset and I think I'm allowed to be and I need to vent.

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If there are no gluten containing ingredients listed but it doesn't say gluten free or it says may contain gluten is that still safe? And are some higher risk than others, like oats

What items should I have my own of? I have my own toaster and like spatula. I know microwaves and ovens are safe to share because it's not airborne as long as I have my stuff on the top rack in case of dripping. Mostly pots and pans, as long as they're clean we can share those right?

Also what cross contamination should I be concerned with, does everything need to be completely sanitized -hot water and soap- or are crumbs the biggest concern

Do I need my own cabinet and fridge space even if my things are in a Ziploc bag?

I had a doctor's appointment today and she didn't seem very knowledgeable on celiac so I didn't bother asking any questions. My mom will be getting a call from a dietitian soon, we just don't know when. I'll be asking questions then but who knows if the dietitian will even be good 😔

I just got diagnosed.. two days ago lol. So as of right now I'm eating gluten until my parents take me grocery shopping. And my mom is thinking about all the things I'll need to have my own of, toaster, cutting board, maybe something else? I'm not sure, should I have my own utensils? No hand washed plastic dishes? What's overkill and what's necessary? My symptoms aren't severe but is CC still dangerous? If I'm going on the gluten free diet (dw I am) is CC going to limit my body's ability to heal my intestines? If I do accidentally eat gluten, will that be dangerous? The longer I go without gluten, do the symptoms get worse if I eat some again?

Another thing that's confusing me is people with lactose intolerance shouldn't eat lactose but if they do, they just deal with the consequences and move on. Why is it different for celiac?

Sorry if this sounds really ignorant, but honestly I am really ignorant. I truly don't understand the severity of celiac and just how careful I should be

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