u/EducationalAspect850

My husband and I have been married for 8 years now. At the start of the year, I picked up a new hobby with his encouragement: Latin dancing. I've always wanted to learn to dance but was too afraid to, but I decided that it was time to get face my fears for good. What started as a once a week class gradually turned into a consuming hobby. I get a lot of dopamine from it and, as someone who grew up in a conservative and religious environment where dancing was never encouraged, find it incredibly liberating and life-giving.

I now go for dance parties at least twice or thrice a week now on top of class. These usually begin late and end late (at midnight). People around me (including my husband) tell me that I've become more confident, fitter, and attractive.

However, recently, my husband has been getting upset about the frequency that I go dancing. He rightly pointed out that all of my friends who go regularly to dance parties are all divorced or single. It also doesn't help that a classmate is actively pursuing me, despite me telling him that I'm married — I told my husband about everything so he knows, and he was not pleased. I tried to get my husband to join me in dance, but he's told me that that's out of the question.

I'm just wondering: Married dancers whose partners don't dance, how do you balance your dance addiction with your marriage? How many times a week do you indulge in your hobby?

My husband and I have been married for 8 years now. At the start of the year, I picked up a new hobby with his encouragement: Latin dancing. I've always wanted to learn to dance but was too afraid to, but I decided that it was time to get face my fears for good. What started as a once a week class gradually turned into a consuming hobby. I get a lot of dopamine from it and, as someone who grew up in a conservative and religious environment where dancing was never encouraged, find it incredibly liberating and life-giving.

I now go for dance parties at least twice or thrice a week now on top of class. These usually begin late and end late (at midnight). People around me (including my husband) tell me that I've become more confident, fitter, and attractive.

However, recently, my husband has been getting upset about the frequency that I go dancing. He rightly pointed out that all of my friends who go regularly to dance parties are all divorced or single. It also doesn't help that a classmate is actively pursuing me, despite me telling him that I'm married — I told my husband about everything so he knows, and he was not pleased. I tried to get my husband to join me in dance, but he's told me that that's out of the question.

I'd love to get some advice please. Thank you!!

I’m a former chef who has since moved away from restaurant life and into cookbook writing and culinary education. My work focuses on using food as a way to explore culture, history and human connection.

I currently teach cooking workshops, but I’ve noticed that many of the people who attend are primarily looking for a fun social activity — corporate team-building, bachelorette parties, etc. That’s completely fine, but I’m much more interested in reaching people who are genuinely curious about food and culture.

Recently, two people separately approached me about doing small cooking sessions in their homes for groups of friends. This got me thinking about whether I could make these feel less like a traditional cooking class (how to make XX) and more like a culinary storytelling / cultural exchange experience (what does XX reveal about this culture and identity).

The groups would probably be around 6–10 people, in a home kitchen, so everyone would still be cooking simultaneously rather than watching a demonstration. After that, we will all sit down for a shared, family-style meal.

For those of you who have attended or hosted food experiences that had a strong storytelling or cultural component: what made the experience memorable for you?

Bearing in mind that this will be conducted entirely in someone else's home, how would you structure something like this so that the storytelling feels genuinely integrated into the cooking and eating experience? Thanks!

I'm a salsa follow who's been dancing for 6 months and goes for socials regularly. For the past two months, I've been learning to lead and am picking moves up quickly because of my follow background, frequency of socials (at least 2x a week), and having a practice partner.

However, the difficulty I'm facing as a lead is that I'm just executing move after move that I can recall on the spot rather than really connecting with the music or my follow. As a result, it is simultaneously stressful (like I'm in an examination and having to regurgitate whatever I've memorised) and boring because the dances I lead all feel pretty similar to one another.

Would appreciate any advice!

I've been learning to dance salsa for six months (and a little bit of bachata) and it has been a wonderful, transformative experience. My husband does not dance at all but has been very encouraging towards my passion.

I wish we could dance together as a couple because I've experienced on the dancefloor how dance can bring about such a connection between two people, and wish I could share that with my husband. I also sometimes would like to have a dance partner at home whom I can practise new moves with.

However, every time I ask my husband to practise with me, he tends to turn it into a big joke. When I ask him to simply step the basic and let me lead / back-lead, he starts wriggling his body or fooling around, and this really frustrates me. I think deep down, he just feels very uncomfortable and awkward with dancing, and joking around is his defence mechanism.

He doesn't dance at all, even in social settings. When I invite him to join me in classes, he is highly resistant and tells me that men who learn salsa are there to pick up girls, and he has no use for that. I do, however, observe that there's a part of him that wants to get comfortable with dance. Sometimes he tries doing a simple dance move while listening to music, then when he sees me watching, he immediately turns it into a joke.

How can we get to a point where he gets less awkward with dance?

I'm a happily married woman who recently started learning salsa. A month ago, a classmate confessed feelings for me even though he knew I was married. I never noticed him in class, but after that confession, our dances (especially bachata) have taken on a charged energy that I can't ignore. I began texting him occasionally about dance and music, though I constantly emphasised that I cannot offer more than friendship. Despite this, I started developing feelings, though I never admitted to them.

It wasn't so much that I was attracted to the classmate, but for what he symbolised. I grew up in a conservative environment — never danced, never went to clubs, never dated around, married my first boyfriend. And now with dance, I'm starting to discover my own sensuality and enjoy things that I'd missed out when I was younger.

This whole time, I have been honest with my husband about the classmate's feelings and my growing attraction. I felt safe to do so because my husband has had a similar experience with a colleague (but never cheated). He advised me to draw clear boundaries — no more texting, and no more dancing together. I communicated this to my classmate, and he agreed.

While I upheld these boundaries, it was almost as if my classmate had become a drug, and I was looking for loopholes to sustain the connection. I started entertaining long private chats with my classmate at dance socials where we got to know each other better.

At one of these parties, my classmate asked me to dance, and I said no. When I asked him why he violated our agreed upon boundaries, he said that he felt that it's really strange that I dance with everyone but him, especially since we met through dance.

That night, I told my husband about it and he flew into a rage. He sent my classmate a stern text message, and said that I was not to proceed with my usual salsa classes since my classmate is there, and all parties that he regularly attends. He also tells me that I'm not to learn bachata, something I'd grown to enjoy at dance socials.

On one hand, I'm grateful for my husband's intervention, because I know that the emotional connection was deepening dangerously and neither I nor my classmate could stop ourselves. I value my marriage and know for a fact that my feelings for this classmate is nothing more than chemistry — there are things about him that I cannot accept, or that he lacks. But on the other hand, I feel like a teenager with a strict parent whose freedom is being curtailed, and like I'm deprived of this new passion for dancing that I've found. I also feel a lot of grief for the way things have turned out. I'm grieving never being able to dance with this classmate again, or get to know him further. How should I navigate this situation?

I'm a happily married woman who recently started learning salsa. A month ago, a classmate confessed feelings for me even though he knew I was married. I never noticed him in class, but after that confession, our dances (especially bachata) have taken on a charged energy that I can't ignore. I began texting him occasionally about dance and music, though I constantly emphasised that I cannot offer more than friendship. Despite this, I started developing feelings, though I never admitted to them.

It wasn't so much that I was attracted to the classmate, but for what he symbolised. I grew up in a conservative environment — never danced, never went to clubs, never dated around, married my first boyfriend. And now with dance, I'm starting to discover my own sensuality and enjoy things that I'd missed out when I was younger.

This whole time, I have been honest with my husband about the classmate's feelings and my growing attraction. I felt safe to do so because my husband has had a similar experience with a colleague (but never cheated). He advised me to draw clear boundaries — no more texting, and no more dancing together. I communicated this to my classmate, and he agreed.

While I upheld these boundaries, it was almost as if my classmate had become a drug, and I was looking for loopholes to sustain the connection. I started entertaining long private chats with my classmate at dance socials where we got to know each other better.

At one of these parties, my classmate asked me to dance, and I said no. When I asked him why he violated our agreed upon boundaries, he said that he felt that it's really strange that I dance with everyone but him, especially since we met through dance.

That night, I told my husband about it and he flew into a rage. He sent my classmate a stern text message, and said that I was not to proceed with my usual salsa classes since my classmate is there, and all parties that he regularly attends. He also tells me that I'm not to learn bachata, something I'd grown to enjoy at dance socials.

On one hand, I'm grateful for my husband's intervention, because I know that the emotional connection was deepening dangerously and neither I nor my classmate could stop ourselves. I value my marriage and know for a fact that my feelings for this classmate is nothing more than chemistry — there are things about him that I cannot accept, or that he lacks. But on the other hand, I feel like a teenager with a strict parent whose freedom is being curtailed, and like I'm deprived of this new passion for dancing that I've found. How should I navigate this situation?

This is a long one!

I am a beginner salsa follow. Have been learning to dance for six months now. Prior to this, I had totally no dance experience and was very awkward with dancing. Under the encouragement of my husband of 8 years (who is also awkward with dancing), I enrolled for salsa classes and began attending dance socials. I've avoided dancing bachata because I know of its sensual reputation and I wanted to be respectful towards my husband. My other salsa classmates all learn both dances, and when they offered to teach me some basic moves on the dancefloor, I was happy to learn and picked them up quickly.

Recently an advanced lead who comes to our class to help out asked for my number, saying he wanted to come for some local parties with our class. But then he started trying to get to know me via texting. This is when I told him that I'm married, but dancing together and casual texting is fine. He said it's "no problem" but then sent me a song recommendation with lyrics about good girls being taken.

When I saw him at the next party, he danced three songs with me in a row. First salsa, then two bachata songs. The first bachata song was danced in an open hold, then the second was a close hold, and in the final few seconds of the song, I felt him come closer so that our legs were interlocking. As a bachata beginner, it was the first time I experienced such closeness with a close-to-stranger, and for that moment, I experienced sexual tension and feelings of attraction, especially because bachata music is so intensely romantic.

The next day, he sent me a bachata playlist that was specially made for me. I told him that if he was looking for a romantic connection, I don't want to continue texting him and leading him on. He replied asking "Didn't you try to flirt with me in class?" and that he sees me observing him frequently. He said that he thinks that I'm a smooth operator and expressed his impression of me being a "classy lady with a sexy voice". He also said as a general observation that bachata is a sensual dance, and it is wise for a person in a relationship to not dance bachata to avoid receiving or sending unintended messages, and the temptations are great.

Frankly, I'd never paid attention to him in class, I'm just being my enthusiastic bubbly self. I know that it would never work out between us and I am not attracted to him outside of dance. I'm only attracted to what he represents - shared passion, physical confidence and expertise, playfulness, the thrill of the chase. I do find myself thinking about this guy a lot, but I think the high comes more from how he makes me feel.

On the other hand, my husband has been very reluctant to even come for one dance lesson, or try dancing with me at home. So I'm aware that my feelings are not about this dancer, but about unmet needs in my marriage. I've spoken to my husband about everything — this dancer, his texts, my feelings of sexual tension during that dance — and he has agreed to one bachata dance lesson, no more than that.

I'll be going for a party soon where this dancer will be present. Should I only dance salsa with him? Or agree to dance bachata with him, but only with disclaimers and caveats (e.g. only open hold / "sure, but we are just classmates")? Part of me wants to experience that thrill of closeness again, but I know that it's dangerous. Is that thrill of closeness something that goes away the more you dance bachata and get used to the physical closeness? Should I expect my husband to pick up dancing too, since it has now been such a big part of my life?

I'm a beginner salsa follow. I was on holiday about a month ago, where I was doing lots of walking (27k steps daily) and a 3-4 hour hike in Adidas sambas. After my holiday, I felt some pain on the ball of one foot, under my big toe. Since then, I've switched from wearing my 6.5cm dancing heels for both classes and dance socials, to wearing them only for classes, and sticking to supportive sneakers during dance socials. However, recently, I've found that the ache gets worse after my classes with heels. I've ordered shorter dancing heels (4cm) but am still a little worried. The pain is a slight dull ache when I dance and I know that I'm not dancing at my best. I know the best thing is to lay off the dancing and allow my foot to heal, but I'd really hate to do that because dancing is the highlight of my week. Any advice?

I'm a beginner salsa follow who's been dancing for four months now. My salsa teacher recommended getting salsa heels to learn proper technique (dancing on the balls of my feet), and this was seconded by the lady at the dance shoe shop I visited. However, I've never been a heel person, and after purchasing my first salsa heels (Werner Kern 7cm flare heel), I found myself getting exhausted quickly and unable to dance as well as I do in sneakers. I've seen videos online of salsa follows practising at home with socks on, and they seem to be dancing on the balls of their feet throughout (e.g https://www.instagram.com/p/DYzWDCTMfib/?hl=en ). I would like to know if this is what I should be doing? Is it a matter of me simply not being used to heels, or are my calf muscles not strong enough to dance salsa with proper technique?

I've been learning salsa for 3 months now as a follow and I'm starting to encounter many dance situations where the lead breaks away to do a shine. I have a few questions:

1. Are shines just limited to salsa moves e.g. suzy Q etc?

2. Most shines tutorials teach starting with left foot on 1, which is the opposite of the follow basic step. Should I start my shines with right foot on 1 instead?

3. Right now I do the same two standard shine moves EVERY TIME a lead breaks away for a shine. I love how some leads just feel the music and do their own moves, which seem less like salsa moves and more like their own interpretation of the music. How can I get to that point? (I really suck at improvisational dancing, such as dancing in a club.)

Thank you!!

I am a salsa follow and am halfway through my salsa beginner class (16/23 lessons in total). Each class is 1 hour long and I go for 2-3 hours of social dancing every week. I rarely practise at home. I'm curious: when you first started out, how many hours of salsa dancing did you do in total? Did you feel like you improved at a satisfactory rate?

I was at a dance social recently where it was incredibly warm. I was sweating and heating up even though I was just in a thin camisole and jeans. The event space has a rule of no water bottles or outside drinks, so I ordered a glass of water which cost me 2.50. After 3 hours of dancing, I started feeling a bit faint. Thankfully I was dancing with a friend, so I felt comfortable telling him I needed to sit down. But this incident left me feeling a bit shaken. Is there a way I could prevent this from happening in the future? I'd already had dinner and drunk ample water before attending the social.