u/Educational_Wait204

uh so i struggle with sh and so does my friend, i barely ever mention it but they know ive done it at some point. i go through periods where i dont cut for a long time and then eventually relapse but during that time i distract myself with shows or games or videos or smth and try not to think about sh for as long as i can (which is what im trying to do right now). both of us kinda have bad depression and stuff and they talk to me alot about it and i try to help them but i dont think i rlly do enough cuz i never know what to say to help, i just try my hardest to be a good friend. recently they relapsed and ever since then they constantly talk about cutting and send pictures of cuts without giving me a heads up or anything. at first i tried to stay supportive and positive (though it did put me off a bit) but its been about 2 months and its rlly started to affect me, its been rlly triggering and genuinely ruins my day. i dont want to ask them to stop because i feel like an asshole already for not knowing how to help/ what to say and i dont want them to feel like they cant talk to me. ik its rlly dumb but 90% of the things they takl to me about is vent/ sh related and i rlly care abt them and dont want them to leave me or be scared to tlak to me cuz it already feels like theyve become more dry with me. idk what to do cuz i seriously cant handle the mention of sh literally multiple times a day. im so tired but too scared to communicate. they just sent me 5 pictures in a row and i fel so nauseous. i cant do this anymore but i want to help and be a good friend

uh so i struggle with sh and so does my friend, i barely ever mention it but they know ive done it at some point. i go through periods where i dont cut for a long time and then eventually relapse but during that time i distract myself with shows or games or videos or smth and try not to think about sh for as long as i can (which is what im trying to do right now). both of us kinda have bad depression and stuff and they talk to me alot about it and i try to help them but i dont think i rlly do enough cuz i never know what to say to help, i just try my hardest to be a good friend. recently they relapsed and ever since then they constantly talk about cutting and send pictures of cuts without giving me a heads up or anything. at first i tried to stay supportive and positive (though it did put me off a bit) but its been about 2 months and its rlly started to affect me, its been rlly triggering and genuinely ruins my day. i dont want to ask them to stop because i feel like an asshole already for not knowing how to help/ what to say and i dont want them to feel like they cant talk to me. ik its rlly dumb but 90% of the things they takl to me about is vent/ sh related and i rlly care abt them and dont want them to leave me or be scared to tlak to me cuz it already feels like theyve become more dry with me. idk what to do cuz i seriously cant handle the mention of sh literally multiple times a day. im so tired but too scared to communicate

edit: they just sent me 5 pictures in a row and i fel so nauseous

ive been going through a hard time for the past few years now with rlly bad anxiety, depression and possible autism diagnosis that my parents refuse to acknowledge, selfharmand harmful thoughts directed at myself. my friend who i got to school with also sturggle with similar thoughts and tendencies though they just constantly tell me about it and vent to me, they go into detail about their depression, selff destructive thoughts, every suicidal thought, saying the wanna kill themselves everyday, parapgraphs about selfharm, etc and i try my hardest to be supportivve and help but im terrible at it, alot of the times they say thiiings that trigger me and make me start breaking down or spiralling i care for them sm and just want them to bee ok so badly but theyre so convinced they wont make it past 18, having to deal with and help them is so exhausting but i cant ask them to stop or leave them because of how many times theyve said im the only reason theyre alive, i despereatly just need to help them and make them feel better but i cant even help myself, im so tired everyday, im constantly, crying, feeling numb, hurting my self and event attemmpted a few months ago i feel like im going insane, i feel helpless and stupid for not beiing able to help them, im a bad friend to them, treat them like shit and and constantly acting selfsih towards them i rlly just need some advice either how to make myself better or help and support them as much as i can because im doingg such a shit job rn.

edit: theres alot of context and stuff left out but im so exhasuted i dont wanna read throught what ive written or write any more