u/EffectiveReason1493

I am writing this because I feel like I am at a breaking point. I have two thoughts constantly on my mind: either ending my life or running away from home. This is due to years of trauma and my family situation.

When I was in 10th grade, my family life became very difficult. My mother had a lot of conflicts with my relatives, and it got so bad that my father told us to move in with him in another city. I didn't want to go because I had already been bullied there during the lockdown. I was a very quiet and simple kid, and because I find it hard to show emotions—my face stays "poker-faced" even when I’m happy or angry—people used to bully me for that.

When I refused to go, my father beat me with an iron rod. I couldn't walk for a month, but I was forced to move anyway. At that new school, I was targeted for two years by a group of boys who were into drugs and bad behavior. I tried to stay away, but because I was quiet, they made me their target. They mocked my skin color, my voice, and everything about me.

By 12th grade, it got worse. The whole school turned against me, and the teachers and principal always took the side of the bullies without checking the facts or the CCTV footage. I became so depressed that I stopped going to school, and I eventually failed my exams.

When I returned to my hometown, things didn't get better. My old friends also pushed me away, and I felt completely alone. When I tried to talk to my parents about how I felt, they just made fun of me, saying I was weak.

To make matters worse, I had a fight at home, and my hand got broken. Nobody cared for a week, and now it has healed wrongly; I can't lift heavy things, write properly, or work out anymore. My younger brother is also toxic and often starts fights, and when I defend myself, my parents blame me instead of seeing the injury I have.

I have no one to trust and nowhere to go. I just need to know how to deal with this or how to find a way out of this depression.

​I am writing this because I feel like I am at a breaking point. I have two thoughts constantly on my mind: either ending my life or running away from home. This is due to years of trauma and my family situation.

​When I was in 10th grade, my family life became very difficult. My mother had a lot of conflicts with my relatives, and it got so bad that my father told us to move in with him in another city. I didn't want to go because I had already been bullied there during the lockdown. I was a very quiet and simple kid, and because I find it hard to show emotions—my face stays "poker-faced" even when I’m happy or angry—people used to bully me for that.

​When I refused to go, my father beat me with an iron rod. I couldn't walk for a month, but I was forced to move anyway. At that new school, I was targeted for two years by a group of boys who were into drugs and bad behavior. I tried to stay away, but because I was quiet, they made me their target. They mocked my skin color, my voice, and everything about me.

​By 12th grade, it got worse. The whole school turned against me, and the teachers and principal always took the side of the bullies without checking the facts or the CCTV footage. I became so depressed that I stopped going to school, and I eventually failed my exams.

​When I returned to my hometown, things didn't get better. My old friends also pushed me away, and I felt completely alone. When I tried to talk to my parents about how I felt, they just made fun of me, saying I was weak.

​To make matters worse, I had a fight at home, and my hand got broken. Nobody cared for a week, and now it has healed wrongly; I can't lift heavy things, write properly, or work out anymore. My younger brother is also toxic and often starts fights, and when I defend myself, my parents blame me instead of seeing the injury I have.

​I have no one to trust and nowhere to go. I just need to know how to deal with this or how to find a way out of this depression.

I am writing this because I feel like I am at a breaking point. I have two thoughts constantly on my mind: either ending my life or running away from home. This is due to years of trauma and my family situation.

When I was in 10th grade, my family life became very difficult. My mother had a lot of conflicts with my relatives, and it got so bad that my father told us to move in with him in another city. I didn't want to go because I had already been bullied there during the lockdown. I was a very quiet and simple kid, and because I find it hard to show emotions—my face stays "poker-faced" even when I’m happy or angry—people used to bully me for that.

When I refused to go, my father beat me with an iron rod. I couldn't walk for a month, but I was forced to move anyway. At that new school, I was targeted for two years by a group of boys who were into drugs and bad behavior. I tried to stay away, but because I was quiet, they made me their target. They mocked my skin color, my voice, and everything about me.

By 12th grade, it got worse. The whole school turned against me, and the teachers and principal always took the side of the bullies without checking the facts or the CCTV footage. I became so depressed that I stopped going to school, and I eventually failed my exams.

When I returned to my hometown, things didn't get better. My old friends also pushed me away, and I felt completely alone. When I tried to talk to my parents about how I felt, they just made fun of me, saying I was weak.

To make matters worse, I had a fight at home, and my hand got broken. Nobody cared for a week, and now it has healed wrongly; I can't lift heavy things, write properly, or work out anymore. My younger brother is also toxic and often starts fights, and when I defend myself, my parents blame me instead of seeing the injury I have.

I have no one to trust and nowhere to go. I just need to know how to deal with this or how to find a way out of this depression.