u/Efficient_Physics_20

I [39F] have been with my partner [40M] for two years. I enjoy him, love him, and am very attracted to him. We have differences but have grown through them in many ways and I am happy to be in a relationship with him. I tend to be very verbally affectionate and speak up when I find him sexy or handsome or feel affectionate towards him. He is not verbally affectionate. Even physical affection does not come naturally to him. I often reach out toward him to connect or embrace and he often almost reactionarily deflects or even dodges me. I try to give him space, but it hurts my feelings. Similarly I will express my physical attraction to him. He often responds by making it a joke or saying he doesn't know what to do with me. It often makes me feel rejected.

I have very carefully and cautiously tried to tell him these responses make me feel rejected. It isn't something he seems to be able to hear. He goes silent. Struggles to communicate back. If I ask him what he is thinking or feeling in response to what I am sharing he typically responds along the lines of "I just wish I could find someone who accepted me for who I am." And at that point, I just totally feel like I'm the problem. So I end up feeling still rejected and also like I'm being a crazy, needy, never satisfied woman. When what I want so badly is to connect with him, enjoy him, and feel enjoyed by him in return. I love him and think he is a beautiful man, but no matter what way I come up with to express it it just feels like I get brushed off or laughed at.

Any suggestions or tips on how to fix this dynamic?

TLDR: feeling constantly rejected by my partner with bids for affection and connection.

I will soon be hiring for a junior role on my team. I have never interviewed or gone through the hiring process from the manager side yet. Any tips or tricks for finding the right fit? Any pointers for what "gut" cues to listen to as I go through this process. I have a great team and I want to find someone who will be a blessing to our team. We are hiring because the person leaving this role was not a...blessing.

I am a manager of a team who works a hybrid schedule. We are required to be in the office two days a week. Shortly after I joined the team, my boss stopped coming into the office. For months and months. I got questions. HR got questions. Corporate began asking questions. They discovered that he moved out of state without telling anyone. They allowed him to stay and he negotiated a reduced schedule (only working three days a week) and he has to fly back once a month to physically be onsite.

The last two weeks he has only worked two of those three days. He also loses emails and communications in his flooded email inbox and doesn't know what is happening operationally. We lost an employee credit card because his name was on the address and when notified it arrived he never let anyone onsite know or even responded to the message. He got onto two people on the team this week for not sending him key updates (they sent the updates he just couldn't find them in his email inbox). He is supposed to be mentoring me and has set up several training working sessions and then later cancelled them. Key items we need approved we often have to go to his supervisor for because he isn't available.

There is also a direct report of his that leaves her team hanging all the time and leaves mid day without any coverage. He has been aware of this, but doesn't address it. Her team members are very frustrated and lack support. There are some really good employees on that team I would rather not lose.

I may have a chance to step into his position after his retirement. The team is frustrated and I'm frustrated. I need to learn key things from him if I am to be successful should I get the chance to accept the role. Should i just ignore this as he is about to retire in 8 months? Should I speak up? Should I speak to HR?