u/Efficient_Sundae_471

Hi, I know there’s a common script for all the discards. I’m trying to gather all the common phrases used in this post.

So please share anything & everything your partner has said or done in their mania, to help each other realize it wasn’t ever about us.

I’ll start,

“I never wanted to get married”
“I don’t find your attractive”
“I don’t view you as my wife”
“You’re controlling and manipulative”
“I just wanna be free, less trapped”
“I just wanna be alone”
“I need to find my happiness, I’m not happy”
“We have nothing in common, we’re incompatible”

I ground myself in the group every single day. I don’t know if any of you are following the Lindsey Clancy trial. But it’s bringing a lot of stuff up with my husband for me. And how gaslit we are by medical professors constantly.

Are we wrong to think it’s bipolar? Did the SSRI not cause the mania and this is just who they are now?

Logically I know but it doesn’t stick. I need someone to remind me and tell me I am not making any of this up. Or it wasn’t anything I did :(

God, how can one ssri ruin our entire life?

UGH

Yesterday was… something else.

As everyone knows my husband has been in SSRI induced mania since March, ran away, moved in with a co-worker, lying to friends and family. Wants a divorce, won’t file.

Well yesterday, he finally messaged me back. Saying “stop phrasing you’re giving me space as a favor”

Then he goes on to send me a screenshot of the divorce filing saying he’s filing it right now at work, and we can just do it online.

Then it just gets worse… he tells me, “if you’d want an open relationship maybe it’s possible…” 2 mins later, “disregard what I said, I changed my mind because I don’t want to give you attention at all”

I asked him, if he wants a divorce, why not meet with both our families properly, talk it out and if it leaves to divorce, then so be it” (we’re Muslim so you can’t just file, it’s a whole thing)

Says, he just wants to file online and be done like it’s filing taxes?

He goes on to say, “I’m done doing things on your terms, you’re manipulative, selfish, and annoying. I hate talking to you, it feels like an interrogation and intervention”

Goes on to say, “I don’t tell people I’m married anymore, I don’t view you as my wife”

This entire conversation I’m saying “I believe you’re sick and need help, please I know you can’t see it”, just goes, “I’m not sick, I don’t need to prove to you I’m fine, your opinion of me means nothing”

“Stop bringing up old memories, it won’t make me love you again”

“Ofc I still love you, I don’t love you enough to be your husband or your bestfriend or be with you”

“You’re holding onto words, right now you’re not the best thing that’s happened to me”

Then at the end got rageful, “JUST LEAVE, I DONT NEED YOUR HELP OR WANT IT, I WANT YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE”

Wouldn’t tell me if he’s seeing other people “think what you want”

I finally got him to tell me he’s still on the adderall and lexapro. So I was right, he won’t come out of this until he’s off the meds.

I feel broken beyond repair. He broke my spirit yesterday. The words he said, and the way he just rewrote our history, and like I’m a piece of garbage who didn’t matter, and just manipulated him this whole time.

I feel so lost, with no light at the end of the tunnel.

I feel support and help. I need to hear this is mania talking and not my husband.

I thought he was coming down, but from yesterday, it feels like his episode is finally peaking. We haven’t had a conversation in months like that.

I don’t even know what I’m expecting from this. It’s too hard. I was holding onto that he hasn’t smeared me yet in the episode, well all of that is gone.

And I’m left all alone :(

How do you guys deal with the gaslighting from other people who don’t see, what you see?

His friends claim he seems to be getting better and is more interactive with them, all while ignoring his wife, lying about his living situations, and just ignoring all of his responsibilities. But as long as he can game with them, he’s stable?

I am so tired.

Hi, I recently had a friend tell me that my husband can no longer be manic because he is "following a routine & is able to work". From my research and reading people's experience on this thread, I know sometimes people can be very high functioning and still experience mania.

I just wanted a first person example of if anyone was manic but came across as "fine" to everyone. What behaviors you exihibited, were you able to still work & see friends/family but avoid the closest person to you?

Delete if not allowed.

I’m having a mental breakdown. I was sending him Snapchat memories and low stakes memes on Instagram.

Now he told me “please stop messaging me on snap & Instagram, I don’t want to have to block you”

Then goes to say “I don’t want to talk to you” and “there’s nothing for us to get through”

Any effort on my end to say that’s fine; just tell me why or what happened. He said “no” and then in the end, I said I’m his wife and I took vows and we’re on the same team.

And then asked if he read my research, he unfriended me and then unfollowed me off of TikTok.

It all feels like some form of retaliation.

I’m a mess.

I literally want to die

It’s been 4 months.

I don’t know how much longer I can do this

I’m so tired.

Hi everyone, to recap, my husband stared an SSRI for OCD, he was undiagnosed and unmediated, this sent him into a SSRI induced manic episode.

Since then, he ran away from our home, says he wants a divorce (hasn't filed and doesn't seem like he is in a rush too), wants us "live our lives seperately", moved in with a co-worker he doesn't know, lying to his friends about where he is staying, comes off as "I am fine" to everyone else, gets a weird feeling anytime anything about me comes up. Avoiding me like the plague.

Anyway,

We had another phone call yesterday, and this time he seemed much more open. He heard me out on what I think has been going on, the SSRI induced mania, his behaviors since then. He even said "I can see how my actions from the outside perspective look irrational and out of the blue". But didn't give anything else into why to him, it is not.

Also, said how my "theory" could have some validity but not everything.

However, I asked him if he remembered asking me if he is bipolar, he said yeah, and said "I think I am". This blew me away. So some insight has come back, but when I asked if he could potentially see that he is manic right now, he said "no". When i asked if he could tell me why he thought he was bipolar, he said "no".

He still agrees that I know him better than anyone else, but wouldn't tell me anything about his care. Told me he sees a therapist once a week and a doctor for his medications.

At the end of the call, he said he does these calls "for me" because "not talking makes you sad and I am a nice guy and I don't like making people sad". It was so bizarre, like I am not sad because we don't talk, it's because you blew up our lives. Ugh.

He ended the call saying "I am gong to cut this short, I'll talk to you sometime this month"

which is different from, "I want us to go about our lives seperately"

He also mentioned the "weird" feeling he gets has died down a bit.

I know he still isn't out of this yet. I guess my question is, has anyone else experiences their partner having objective awareness they could be bipolar, but deny their current episode?

Hi everyone, to recap, my husband stared an SSRI for OCD, he was undiagnosed and unmediated, this sent him into a SSRI induced manic episode.

Since then, he ran away from our home, says he wants a divorce (hasn't filed and doesn't seem like he is in a rush too), wants us "live our lives seperately", moved in with a co-worker he doesn't know, lying to his friends about where he is staying, comes off as "I am fine" to everyone else, gets a weird feeling anytime anything about me comes up. Avoiding me like the plague.

Anyway,

We had another phone call yesterday, and this time he seemed much more open. He heard me out on what I think has been going on, the SSRI induced mania, his behaviors since then. He even said "I can see how my actions from the outside perspective look irrational and out of the blue". But didn't give anything else into why to him, it is not.

Also, said how my "theory" could have some validity but not everything.

However, I asked him if he remembered asking me if he is bipolar, he said yeah, and said "I think I am". This blew me away. So some insight has come back, but when I asked if he could potentially see that he is manic right now, he said "no". When i asked if he could tell me why he thought he was bipolar, he said "no".

He still agrees that I know him better than anyone else, but wouldn't tell me anything about his care. Told me he sees a therapist once a week and a doctor for his medications.

At the end of the call, he said he does these calls "for me" because "not talking makes you sad and I am a nice guy and I don't like making people sad". It was so bizarre, like I am not sad because we don't talk, it's because you blew up our lives. Ugh.

He ended the call saying "I am gong to cut this short, I'll talk to you sometime this month"

which is different from, "I want us to go about our lives seperately"

He also mentioned the "weird" feeling he gets has died down a bit.

I know he still isn't out of this yet. I guess my question is, has anyone else experiences their partner having objective awareness they could be bipolar, but deny their current episode?

I’m just in my feelings today I guess, I’ve posted my story enough times here. But it’s been 3.5 months since my discard. I miss my husband so much sometimes I feel like I’m going to die.

I’m feeling extra down right now, if anyone is available to talk, I could really use the support.

Posting here because I need advice to see if this is really mania or not. I need help from the other side. What helped you come out of it? Did anyones mania stop even while taking the SSRI?

My partner (31M) and I (28F) have been together for 11 years, we just got married last year in May 2025 and the past 11 months were amazing. Our relationship has always been great, no relationship is perfect, but we managed to build something strong & stable. In november, my husband went to his Psych NP to restart his adderall for his ADHD, but got diagnosed with OCD, and started on an SSRI 5 mg. Over the course from Nov-Jan, he experiences sexual side effects and we decided maybe he should stop taking it. He told me himself he needs to taper, (HE IS A PHARMACIST), I don't know how he tapered, but I do know he stopped like middle of January. In January we went to Italy & had an amazing trip, he took all my pictures, took me to Pisa (1 hr away just so I can get my pictures for 15 mins). It was an amazing trip, we however were not intimate but I just assumed we were just tired.

Fast forward to Feburary, he planned a valentines day, got me flowers. It was normal but anytime I would want to initiate sex, he was hesitant or not on the mood. During this time he had started another job, so was working non-stop & we barely saw eachother, other than just at bedtime. We had a fight & I said some things (nothing I have not said before), but eventually we made up and I assumed were fine.

The NEXT day 3/6, he comes home from work, looks distraught, tells me "I don't love you anymore", "I do not find you attractive", "I felt this way before the wedding", all ridiculous statements. I did say, "Hey maybe this is the withdrawal from the medication", he said "no its not". Looking back I did lose my shit & cried, begged & pleaded that we can make this work. My family & his family got involved & everyone said that he should work on his marriage. He kept saying things like, "You deserve better, I provide nothing for you".

Moreover, that night his family convinved him to make it work and he agreed. The following day, I came home to him wearing our traditional wedding outfit & wanted to do our wedding dance with me. Then he goes onto to say that before i came home, he was staring at our wedding portrait & was so sad he hurt me that he wanted to go in the kitchen, and slit his wrists. The only he did not do this because it would physically hurt. I wanted to continue talking about it, but then he completely changed the subject. I saw his emotions fluctate in real time. I told him my mom thinks maybe we should take space & ill go live there for a couple days. He says "No, we can be stronger than before, we dont need space."

The following day, I find messages where hes telling a coworker (female, ofc), that he was pressured into staying with me. He does not understand why everyone cannot see that it is better to end it now than later. When confronted, he snatched his phone & said I violated his privacy & continues to play his video games. Acting like none of this should affect me at all.

The next again, completely avoidant, doesnt want to speak to me about what happened at all. That night I lost it, and "left him". I was having a full on panic attack on, and instead of confronting me, he poked me & asked to "cuddle", I was so furious, I left. Turned off my location and was just done. He did not stop me, apologize, chase me, or anything.

The next day, I dived into reddit posts about SSRI withdrawal, and Lexparo causing manic symptoms at times. So many similar stories. I also went through our text thread during the wedding time to see if I missed any signs. I didn't.

I share my research with him, he says "wow thats crazy accurate" and says "I just need time to see what I want & need, you know me better than anyone but i know how i FEEL better than anyone". I return home & I geniuely state that I am worried about him and his mental state. He agrees and we agree he needs to talk to someone & his Psych NP.

The next night I wait for him to return from work. I get a call from his Psych NP telling me she is concerned on what he shared with her & she is sending him to the hospital to get evaluated. The relief I felt in his moment was something I cannot describe. I felt crazy for the days leading up to this because I felt like i was grasping at straws. His NP also asked me any signs of erratic behavior over the past couple of months bc she had differential for bipolar for him (I was shocked to hear this), at that time I said no bc we were fine.

BOY WAS I WRONG.

Well it got worse, he was admitted to the psych ward, restarted on lexapro & adderall. When I saw him in the hospital, he told me "Go live your lives, leave me here", and then in the psych ward, he said he finally felt "free". While getting him admitted, I found out he had 2k in cash (not normal for him) and he wanted to know where is car was at all times. When i finally said the hospital would charge him, he let me take it home.

He was admitted for 6 days, he refused to see me. Did not want to talk to me at all. said this time serves as space. But let his family & friends come see him and acted "fine" with everyone. They restarted the lexapro 10 mg & adderall (knowing what I know now, it seems like this put him straight into mania).

The DAY he is discharged, he didn't tell me. His dad did. He leaves the psych ward, the first thing he does is go get a haircut. Looking back he was truly not going to tell me or even see me. I tracked him and ended up going home to see him.

He told me the psych ward "fixed him", he has always put me "first", he is FINALLY "putting himself first". However, I am still his bestfriend, The best thing that has ever happened to him, and he does not regret our 10 years. He gives me back the wedding ring and just leaves. During this entire interaction, I tell him I think he is manic, he says "No, I am not manic", covers his ears, won't let me speak and says "stop, you're the only one who can get me to stay". Claims "I am not happy and I will NEVER be happy with you again". Claims there is nothing I can do to fix this because he needs to start his new life. The therapy place name is "new beginnings", and he looks at me with tears and says "see, I am starting my new beginning, I need you to let me go."

I asked him what made him be admitted because the hospital nor his family ever told me. He blocked me from the chart so no doctor told me anything (I cannot believe how psych is handled in this country when the person clearly is not in his right state of mind)

Anyway, he said the night I left, he wanted to go into the kitchen and slit his throat because he was so down that he is hurting me. I tried to use logic & say, "You wanted to end your life because you hurt me, but you're destroying & walking away from me right now", he just started at me, didnt say anything.

He says he wants a divorce & that the next time I see him, we will sign the papers. Said all of this while crying btw.

It has now been 3 months s since he ran away from home. Lived in a hotel for a week i think, but then moved in with a coworker 10 years younger than him? , working non-stop 6 days a week. Anyone who sees him says he looks happy. He tells them "She's perfect, she did nothing wrong, i fell out of love" and he FEELS this is the right thing to do. Everyone asked if seeing me with someone else would hurt, he said "it HAS to happen". He refuses to return home (we lived in his parents basement). Says it is too triggering. Has removed our wedding photos off his instagram grid but did not untag himself. the emotional whiplash is crazy to me. Telling his friends we have nothing in common and even the small things we do not share. Says he is not looking for someone else but seemed open to the idea? I know they can get hypersexual during this time, I just cannot deal.

He has not filed for divorce at all. is picking up extra shifts. When I messaged him & asked if he going to file or talk to me, he said "I've been busy, ill file the paperwork when I have time", clearly someone who wanted a divorce would FILE the next day right. Not delay for 3 months. His friends keep telling me to give him space & keep things positive. He is repeating the same script for everyone. He also told his friends that he wants me to focus on my self & made it clear he does not want me waiting for him. Also told his friends that if he got back together with me, he is scared he will want to harm himself again.

I finally spoke to him in May after our wedding anniversary, he was crying and sounded like he was having a panic attack. Said he feels "unsafe" when he talks to me and gets a weird feeling even thinking about reaching out to me or even when someone brings me up.

We have another call scheduled for july 3rd, but one second he says, "I dont want to talk to you at all" and next he's open for a phone call. The emotional whiplash is alot for me.

Could this be a mixed state? Anyone input will help me understand.

Can someone describe how their mixed state feel for them when they are in it? Do you have this intense need to run away and isolate, but also claim you’re happier, doing a lot better, fine and just feel free.

For those of you whose partner cheated during their manic episodes, did they just tell you during the episode? Like when you asked if there’s someone else, they were honest and just told you. Or did you find out, and then they still lied & said no they weren’t? Or were they honest once they came out of the episode?

Hi everyone,

I feel like knows my story already but my husband has been in SSRI induced manic episode since March. Since then has moved out, left me, asked for divorce and refuses to see me or even speak to me saying "theres nothing else to say".

Well... today is the day after our anniversary and & I texted him,

Me: Hey. It has been 3 months since everything started, and I have honored the space you asked for. I am reaching out to see if you’re open to talk.

Him: Hey. Sure, not today. Tomorrow works for me though

Me: Sounds good. Does tomorrow at 12 pm at ***** or **** coffee shop work for you?

Him: I was just gonna call you. Tmm is gonna rain

Me: Orr we could do the ***** shop? The coffee is really good

Him: I'll let you know tomorrow.

I didn't reply.

I don't know what to expect. This is such a big change from 2 months ago where he said "no I'd rather not, sorry" to be asking to see him.

I don't want to get my hopes up at all but I am so nervous to see him or even hear his voice. I also don't want to get ahead of myself.

Like if he didn't want to talk, he could've ignored me or said "No i dont want to talk" or keep it to text. He brought up the phone call himself. Idk maybe im reading too much.

Any advice to navigate this conversation will help!

Hi everyone,

I posted a couple weeks ago about an SSRI triggering a manic episode in my husband. Its been 9 weeks today, and our 1 year wedding anniversary is this saturday.

I just want to ask anyone whose been through this... how did you do it? I feel like death every moment of everyday.

This time last year I was the happiest person in the world. Never in a million years would I have though a year later, I would be dealing with a manic discard.

I just miss my husband so much. It is so cruel. I want to text him so badly, but I know I'll only speak to the manic ego.

I am trying so hard to seperate the illness from the person, but it all feels so personal.

I am so angry, hurt, in despair, I truly wouldn't wish this on my worse enemy.

No one in my life understands, not truly. Everyone feels so bad for me, and it is a tragedy... but unless you've lived it. I don't think they can fathom that this isn't a normal ending or breakup.

I am stuck in limbo, having to go through our anniversary alone while he's out doing god knows what.

Ugh it just sucks.

Hi, i posted my story here 13 days ago and I really have found some solace in this community.

For those of you whose partner got medicated & came out of it, what did the process look like? Was it all at once or over time? What medication helped? Did they feel remorse or guilt?

My partner still has not reached out to me, but

- sent me tiktok 4 days ago & deleted it.

- reposted our wedding song (the song I walked down the aisle too) on his tiktok and kept it there

- watched all my families stories

- my sister saw him at his job & said he looked normal but had a "dark aura" about him

- he ignores his friends requests to hang out & is "short" with them

I am now entering week 8.

Any advice would be helpful!

Hi everyone.

My partner (31M) and I (28F) have been together for 11 years, we just got married last year in May 2025 and the past 11 months were amazing. Our relationship has always been great, no relationship is perfect, but we managed to build something strong & stable. In november, my husband went to his Psych NP to restart his adderall for his ADHD, but got diagnosed with OCD, and started on Lexapro 5 mg. Over the course from Nov-Jan, he experiences sexual side effects and we decided maybe he should stop taking it. He told me himself he needs to taper, (HE IS A PHARMACIST), I don't know how he tapered, but I do know he stopped like middle of January. In January we went to Italy & had an amazing trip, he took all my pictures, took me to Pisa (1 hr away just so I can get my pictures for 15 mins). It was an amazing trip, we however were not intimate but I just assumed we were just tired.

Fast forward to Feburary, he planned a valentines day, got me flowers. It was normal but anytime I would want to initiate sex, he was hesitant or not on the mood. During this time he had started another job, so was working non-stop & we barely saw eachother, other than just at bedtime. We had a fight & I said some things (nothing I have not said before), but eventually we made up and I assumed were fine.

The NEXT day 3/6, he comes home from work, looks distraught, tells me "I don't love you anymore", "I do not find you attractive", "I felt this way before the wedding", all ridiculous statements. I did say, "Hey maybe this is the withdrawal from the medication", he said "no its not". Looking back I did lose my shit & cried, begged & pleaded that we can make this work. My family & his family got involved & everyone said that he should work on his marriage. He kept saying things like, "You deserve better, I provide nothing for you".

Moreover, that night his family convinved him to make it work and he agreed. The following day, I came home to him wearing our traditional wedding outfit & wanted to do our wedding dance with me. Then he goes onto to say that before i came home, he was staring at our wedding portrait & was so sad he hurt me that he wanted to go in the kitchen, and slit his wrists. The only he did not do this because it would physically hurt. I wanted to continue talking about it, but then he completely changed the subject. I saw his emotions fluctate in real time. I told him my mom thinks maybe we should take space & ill go live there for a couple days. He says "No, we can be stronger than before, we dont need space."

The following day, I find messages where hes telling a coworker (female, ofc), that he was pressured into staying with me. He does not understand why everyone cannot see that it is better to end it now than later. When confronted, he snatched his phone & said I violated his privacy & continues to play his video games. Acting like none of this should affect me at all.

The next again, completely avoidant, doesnt want to speak to me about what happened at all. That night I lost it, and "left him". I was having a full on panic attack on, and instead of confronting me, he poked me & asked to "cuddle", I was so furious, I left. Turned off my location and was just done. He did not stop me, apologize, chase me, or anything.

The next day, I dived into reddit posts about SSRI withdrawal, and Lexparo causing manic symptoms at times. So many similar stories. I also went through our text thread during the wedding time to see if I missed any signs. I didn't.

I share my research with him, he says "wow thats crazy accurate" and says "I just need time to see what I want & need, you know me better than anyone but i know how i FEEL better than anyone". I return home & I geniuely state that I am worried about him and his mental state. He agrees and we agree he needs to talk to someone & his Psych NP.

The next night I wait for him to return from work. I get a call from his Psych NP telling me she is concerned on what he shared with her & she is sending him to the hospital to get evaluated. The relief I felt in his moment was something I cannot describe. I felt crazy for the days leading up to this because I felt like i was grasping at straws. His NP also asked me any signs of erratic behavior over the past couple of months bc she had differential for bipolar for him (I was shocked to hear this), at that time I said no bc we were fine.

BOY WAS I WRONG.

Well it got worse, he was admitted to the psych ward, restarted on lexapro & adderall. When I saw him in the hospital, he told me "Go live your lives, leave me here", and then in the psych ward, he said he finally felt "free". While getting him admitted, I found out he had 2k in cash (not normal for him) and he wanted to know where is car was at all times. When i finally said the hospital would charge him, he let me take it home.

He was admitted for 6 days, he refused to see me. Did not want to talk to me at all. said this time serves as space. But let his family & friends come see him and acted "fine" with everyone. They restarted the lexapro 10 mg & adderall (knowing what I know now, it seems like this put him straight into mania).

The DAY he is discharged, he didn't tell me. His dad did. He leaves the psych ward, the first thing he does is go get a haircut. Looking back he was truly not going to tell me or even see me. I tracked him and ended up going home to see him.

He told me the psych ward "fixed him", he has always put me "first", he is FINALLY "putting himself first". However, I am still his bestfriend, The best thing that has ever happened to him, and he does not regret our 10 years. He gives me back the wedding ring and just leaves. During this entire interaction, I tell him I think he is manic, he says "No, I am not manic", covers his ears, won't let me speak and says "stop, you're the only one who can get me to stay". Claims "I am not happy and I will NEVER be happy with you again". Claims there is nothing I can do to fix this because he needs to start his new life. The therapy place name is "new beginnings", and he looks at me with tears and says "see, I am starting my new beginning, I need you to let me go."

I asked him what made him be admitted because the hospital nor his family ever told me. He blocked me from the chart so no doctor told me anything (I cannot believe how psych is handled in this country when the person clearly is not in his right state of mind)

Anyway, he said the night I left, he wanted to go into the kitchen and slit his throat because he was so down that he is hurting me. I tried to use logic & say, "You wanted to end your life because you hurt me, but you're destroying & walking away from me right now", he just started at me, didnt say anything.

He says he wants a divorce & that the next time I see him, we will sign the papers. Said all of this while crying btw.

It has now been 6 weeks since he ran away from home. He has been living in hotels, working non-stop 6 days a week. Anyone who sees him says he looks happy. He tells them "She's perfect, she did nothing wrong, i fell out of love" and he FEELS this is the right thing to do. Everyone asked if seeing me with someone else would hurt, he said "it HAS to happen". He refuses to return home (we lived in his parents basement). Says it is too triggering. Has removed our wedding photos off his instagram grid but did not untag himself. the emotional whiplash is crazy to me. Telling his friends we have nothing in common and even the small things we do not share. Says he is not looking for someone else but seemed open to the idea? I know they can get hypersexual during this time, I just cannot deal.

He has not filed for divorce at all. is picking up extra shifts. When I messaged him & asked if he going to file or talk to me, he said "I've been busy, ill file the paperwork when I have time", clearly someone who wanted a divorce would FILE the next day right. Not delay for 6 weeks. His friends keep telling me to give him space & keep things positive. He is repeating the same script for everyone. He also told his friends that he wants me to focus on my self & made it clear he does not want me waiting for him. Also told his friends that if he got back together with me, he is scared he will want to harm himself again.

THIS IS NOT THE MAN I MARRIED. I feel like i am losing my mind. I KNOW HIM. Even if he wanted to leave, it would never be this way right?

I am not blocked or anything. I reached out multiple times to get him to talk to me. He refuses or is short.

I also hit a very low place & wanted to kill myself bc I just could not deal. He told me " You need help and should get yourself admitted, they can help you like they helped me"

The last time I texted him was 4/8, he messaged me to let me know his psych NP recieved my messages but she said to stop messaging her & ended it with "Thank you :)".

It is like someone has possesed him. He has never been cruel to me for over 11 years. It feels like he died :(

I am broken, shattered, in so much pain I cannot even begin to explain. I already messaged his Psych NP telling her everything. Not sure if anything is happening. I feel so lost & hurt that the man I know is gone. I've read enough posts to know this is SSRI induced mania, he has never had an episode before ever, I do not even know if he is truly bipolar.

I feel like I am grasping at straws & seeing everyone in his life enable this behavior is another kind of hell I did not know was possible.

I have been turned into this crazy discarded wife.

Any input would help. I feel utterly hopeless & powerless. Our 1 year wedding anniverary is next month and I just cannot stop crying everyday. I am seeing a therapist but nothing helps at all. I feel like I am watching my life burn to the ground & everyone is just watching it.