u/Either_Ad_7437

My toddler boy who is 2,5 years old was ready to take a bath. He didnt want to go in so my husband came to help me. Told our son to get in the bath and put him in there. Our son started to tantrum and kept yelling no and trying to get out of the bath. My husband physically held him down in the bath while our son was crying and screaming no.

It didnt felt right so i told my husband to stop it and he didnt, i had to tell him multiple times till i was yelling and had to yank his arm to get him away and told him strictly not to do that even with my finger in his face.

He got mad at me that we werent a team and that i let our son do whatever he wants. That it was not cool to act like he was hurting him and that i set a bad example for our son that we arent a team and that i yelled at him in front of him.

I told him i dont think our son should get his way but i dont think it should be like physically helding him down especially in water. I told him i am not mad and i dont think he ment it abusive and he was just trying to be strict but i dont like the physically holding him down while he is visably upset.

Now we both feel bad, i see it on his face. And i feel bad for making him feel bad while he was trying to be strict and trying to help me out with getting him in the bath.

Now im wondering if i did the right thing because it didnt feel right in the moment and i stuck up for my son. Or should i just kept quiet and let him do that.

My toddler boy who is 2,5 years old was ready to take a bath. He didnt want to go in so my husband came to help me. Told our son to get in the bath and put him in there. Our son started to tantrum and kept yelling no and trying to get out of the bath. My husband physically held him down in the bath while our son was crying and screaming no.

It didnt felt right so i told my husband to stop it and he didnt, i had to tell him multiple times till i was yelling and had to yank his arm to get him away and told him strictly not to do that even with my finger in his face.

He got mad at me that we werent a team and that i let our son do whatever he wants. That it was not cool to act like he was hurting him and that i set a bad example for our son that we arent a team and that i yelled at him in front of him.

I told him i dont think our son should get his way but i dont think it should be like physically helding him down especially in water. I told him i am not mad and i dont think he ment it abusive and he was just trying to be strict but i dont like the physically holding him down while he is visably upset.

Now we both feel bad, i see it on his face. And i feel bad for making him feel bad while he was trying to be strict and trying to help me out with getting him in the bath.

Now im wondering if i did the right thing because it didnt feel right in the moment and i stuck up for my son. Or should i just kept quiet and let him do that.

I hope i can talk about this in this group. My son is two years old and im still having a hard time with my birth story, its just unfair. Especially because i decided im one and done and i only get one chance at this.

When labor started the nurse comes home to check how much dialated you are and she decides if you can go to the hospital. I told my husband not to call anybody before the nurse got there and he did anyway behind my back. And my mom was there when i wanted her only at the hospital, When the nurse came she told me i was already 7cm and had to go to the hospital quick. On my way there i was so happy to be so far already because i thought then i can handle the rest without a epidural.

When i got to the hospital, they told me she mesured wrong and was only 1,5 cm. They asked me if i wanted to stay and i told them i did, and i wanted a epidral because i had a long way to go. They told me it was procedure that i also get pitocin if i get a epidural. (Later i found it it isnt always nessecary, but they just wanted to speed things up, i even heard them tell each other to put it really high)

So my contractions got really bad and even with an epidural they got reall strong. In a couple hours i got to 10cm and i couldnt help myself from pushing thats how bad they got. They told me a katheter was a must but i have trauma with that, and told them no, they did anyway, later i found out they can check the bladder through ultrasound.

After pushing two times they told me the babys heartbeat got low( i later heard thats normal with a contraction as long as it stabalized again, and i heard it did, i listened to the monitor).

They rushed in a gynacoligist and everyone was in a panick they told me they had to cut and use a vacuum. My mom asked to just try with the cut and if that didnt help use vacuum( god bless my mom)

That really scared me and pushed for my life. He came out immediatly and he had so much pressure on him that he was all bruised up. I guess i pushed to hard, he wasnt ready maybe.

While doing skin to skin they where already stichting me up and if i complained they clearly looked annoyed. I dissociated and let everything happen. My husband didnt notice i was having a hard time and didnt stood up for me once. Let all his family come right away and didnt consult me if that was okay.

Two hours after i was discharged from the hospital without any pain medication. My house was full of visitors and i just kept going upstairs to flee the crowd (very bad pelvic issues still from walking up and down the stairs)

Two days later i got a infection because they stitched me up to tight, and week later i got breast infection from breastfeeding i didnt even want to do but got pressured into. When i asked my husband to help when i got sick in the night, he told me he couldnt because he had work in the morning.

He regrets everything he did while postpartum and tells me he wouldnt do that again, but im never doing this again. I didnt deserve this memory and not risking going trough that again.

I hope i can talk about this in this group. My son is two years old and im still having a hard time with my birth story, its just unfair. Especially because i decided im one and done and i only get one chance at this.

When labor started the nurse comes home to check how much dialated you are and she decides if you can go to the hospital. I told my husband not to call anybody before the nurse got there and he did anyway behind my back. And my mom was there when i wanted her only at the hospital, When the nurse came she told me i was already 7cm and had to go to the hospital quick. On my way there i was so happy to be so far already because i thought then i can handle the rest without a epidural.

When i got to the hospital, they told me she mesured wrong and was only 1,5 cm. They asked me if i wanted to stay and i told them i did, and i wanted a epidral because i had a long way to go. They told me it was procedure that i also get pitocin if i get a epidural. (Later i found it it isnt always nessecary, but they just wanted to speed things up, i even heard them tell each other to put it really high)

So my contractions got really bad and even with an epidural they got reall strong. In a couple hours i got to 10cm and i couldnt help myself from pushing thats how bad they got. They told me a katheter was a must but i have trauma with that, and told them no, they did anyway, later i found out they can check the bladder through ultrasound.

After pushing two times they told me the babys heartbeat got low( i later heard thats normal with a contraction as long as it stabalized again, and i heard it did, i listened to the monitor).

They rushed in a gynacoligist and everyone was in a panick they told me they had to cut and use a vacuum. My mom asked to just try with the cut and if that didnt help use vacuum( god bless my mom)

That really scared me and pushed for my life. He came out immediatly and he had so much pressure on him that he was all bruised up. I guess i pushed to hard, he wasnt ready maybe.

While doing skin to skin they where already stichting me up and if i complained they clearly looked annoyed. I dissociated and let everything happen. My husband didnt notice i was having a hard time and didnt stood up for me once. Let all his family come right away and didnt consult me if that was okay.

Two hours after i was discharged from the hospital without any pain medication. My house was full of visitors and i just kept going upstairs to flee the crowd (very bad pelvic issues still from walking up and down the stairs)

Two days later i got a infection because they stitched me up to tight, and week later i got breast infection from breastfeeding i didnt even want to do but got pressured into. When i asked my husband to help when i got sick in the night, he told me he couldnt because he had work in the morning.

He regrets everything he did while postpartum and tells me he wouldnt do that again, but im never doing this again. I didnt deserve this memory and not risking going trough that again.

Me and my husband have a two year old boy who has a lot of energy and doesnt listen very well. He was a low sleep needs baby and the first year was horrible for me. Now he needs lots of patients and i noticed i dont have much. He still sleeps in our bedroom. I think ive had/have postpartum depression.

Besides all of this, i think i just dont like being a mom. I dont like being responsible all the time, i dont like playing, or making meals, i dont like doing household things, im just not liking this life, i dont like seeing my inlaws a lot because they wanne be involved with my son and i have to go to a lot of birthday party’s.

My husband gives me time for myself so thats not the problem. But once im alone in my car i feel like i can breathe again and feel like myself. Now that my son is two people talking about us having another but hell no. I dont see myself as a mom of two.

I do love my son, and we do have good times also. And im really working on being the best and happiest mom i can be for him. I do everything i can so he doesnt notice that i dont like all the stuff about being a mom. But im defenitly not having another, i think i will become a stressed out grumpy mom, and i owe him to be a present and good mom for him.

I just wished i was the dad, their lives didnt change that much, they feel less responsible and just help around a lil when they feel like it.

I also had to teach my husband to help so maybe that contributed to the post partum depression. But now that he helps more i still feel the same.