u/Electrical-Ant-6403

Hi. I was his mother's caregiver for around a year and a half thru the state. My bf and his mom and I all share a home. She started to be awful and mean to me. Calling me names, making fun of me generally being wretched and even going so far as to try and triangulate my bf and I apart! She started messing with really important meds, she started taking wegovy without her doctors approval and she lost 31 pounds in 3 months. Despite having awful symptoms from the glp1. She's was being mean to her doctor and to her son (my bf) and me. She also has acute heart failure and COPD. She's hasn't showered since April. She won't change her clothes unless she vomits or bleeds on them. She hoards old dirty diapers and trash, the fridge is a biohazard. Her body is a biohazard. She sleeps in a broken recliner she refuses to get a bed. The TV on full volume all day and all night...

I had to step back as her caregiver because of the sheer liability of her poor choices! She's going to hurt herself and she was driving me insane. I got a job a love now and I regulate and self care daily. She got so mad at me for quitting and made up a whole conspiracy that I was trying to f her over and I had it all planned out. No mam you're terrible. Anyways.. she's already had two caregivers since I left not even a month ago. She wants to age in place.. but at this point she's not aging she going downhill in a handcart..

I try to plant seeds for my bf like hey honey we should make a plan about mom.. I'm worried. This is crazy she needs help please you're the only one who can do anything... I think she has Vascular dementia. Her sister is currently in an elder home for dementia, they are close in age...He thinks she's fine and that's just how she is and she's always been this way blah blah.. at this point I've filed an APS report anonymously, tried to call the hospital and her doctor (when I was her caregiver, I'm hands off now.) but APS hasn't done anything, her care team isn't doing anything, her sons aren't doing anything, nobody is listening to me. My bf is in Uber denial and I'm here just worried we're going to have a crisis on our hands because she stopped taking her torsemides cold turkey on her own and started the max dose of wegovy again and she has major arterial blockage in one leg she refuses to have surgery for... God sorry but wtf am I supposed to do!?

Hi everyone, I really need a safe space to vent and get advice from people who actually understand what this feels like, because I am losing my mind. I’m dealing with an elderly family member in our household whose behavior has escalated into pure chaos. She is spinning completely out of control—inventing elaborate, fictional crises and conspiracies (like demanding "proof" of a massive state audit that doesn't exist), making wild accusations, and weaponizing our living situation by threatening rent hikes and retaliation.

Every basic daily task feels like a minefield. Even getting a glass of water requires walking right past her room and risking an explosive ambush, keeping my nervous system permanently fried. I have diagnosed CPTSD from an abusive ex, which doesn't help.

The hardest part right now isn't even just dealing with her—it's my partner, who is caught in the middle. He keeps insisting that the only way to solve this is for all of us to sit down, talk it out like reasonable adults, and for me to "provide proof" of things that literally do not exist. He’s struggling to accept the harsh reality that you cannot negotiate, reason, or communicate your way out of this kind of behavior. To him, it's a conflict that needs a compromise; to me, it's a trap and an ambush where the goalposts will just keep moving.

For those of you who have been here: How do you help a partner finally drop the fantasy that a "sit-down meeting" will fix things? How do you protect your own sanity, safety, and boundaries when you are living in an environment where someone's reality is completely warped?

Any advice or validation would mean the world right now. I am exhausted.

Does the bucatstate 3.0 have a metal bottom/base or a clear acrylic base? I'm trying to figure out if I'm going to buy it on a bench that his current enclosure is on or if I should just put in on the floor (not my first choice)

At the crown of my bangs is thinning out so bad! 😞 I've always had really full, thick heavy curly hair that I've been so proud of and now if the wind blows any direction I have such a thin balding patch right there... It makes me super self conscious. Between that and the facial hair.... Ugh I love myself but it's really hard for me to see what's basically a balding spot right as people meet me or going around life. I understand nobody probably notices.. nobody probably cares. My partner doesn't care he loves me no matter what but ugh .. I take biotin collagen vit c supplements alongside my vitamins and metformin nothing works.. I thought about buying those clips on bangs just to fill it in...

What do I do I'm at a loss .... No pun intended

Hi.

I'm a caregiver of an elderly person who I suspect has dementia, no diagnosis yet. They're very medically uncompliant, self neglectful, abrasive, rude, angry and alone. They have family with them who work full time. The gravity of this situation is enormous. The family isn't taking the decline very seriously. I am not a medical professional but I do see this clients decline daily, as well as take every stray insult and dig possible. They can be ruthless. They're reckless with money, they can't and won't shower, they change their own meds, the house isn't safe or easily navigable with their walker and oxygen...

Idk why I'm here. I guess I just had to talk to someone who might believe me. The family isn't concerned enough. I have informed everyone that needs to know, my boss, the care staff, aps... Nothing is happening.. I know beuacracy moves slowly but this person is not doing well and it sucks to see... I'm just one human I shouldn't have to do this alone you know? I have a life outside of this job I'm only scheduled a few days a week here. I'm sad/angry/worried... Thanks for reading ❤️‍🩹🫩