By give you up,
Or let you go,
Surely I sound
Like a something…
But, you are inside
Of my very veins,
And course through
My very body,
Every single day…
With every beat
Of my heart.
That shall
Remain
Forevermore.
And. Is.
Non-negotiable.
It just is.
You are not mine.
And yet.
How I wish you just knew,
The exact nature of my heart.
That would make me happy,
And help things to be easier…
I suppose. But. I suppose we
Must rely on what is known,
And describe things based
On popular definitions.
I loved you deeply before.
An innocent, deep, pure love.
Both, Committed to others.
Loving others. And you, always.
The heart doesn’t
Always Release.
My heart has never
Let go of you.
I’m not sure I’d
Be able to, unless
You were asking.
And I love you enough
To.
Clowns and jokers, you know …
The ones who know so much
They can even tell you your
Opinion on matters.
They document.
Have records.
Stacks of papers of bullshit.
None of which you were aware of,
And certainly didn’t require your
Signature, or consent… yet,
There they are, papers, in stacks.
Stacked up against you. And you?
Do you with to obtain counsel?
However will you defend yourself?
Against someone else’s opinion
About events that they did not
Understand?
I censor myself,
Even here.
Under anonymous
Guise.
I can express.
But, not fully,
The depths of my
Heart and soul.
That, I reserve
For those quiet
Moments in the
Future, where I
Am snuggled
Face-deep into
Your armpit.
My leg draped,
And arm holding,
My love.
A time I hope is
Spent. One day.
My love.
I started my school this morning.
It’s gonna fit right into that spot.
My morning coffee.
Right after the first cup.
Papers. I don’t know.
Hopefully, I won’t be up
Riding the buzzer at midnight.
But, you know, I will.
I do my best work that way.
Good morning, my love.
Reading.
No, not that.
Unfortunately.
Trying to navigate
My health, and advocate
For myself. I have my big
Surgery the end of June.
Reddit changes everything
A little too often. Well, for me,
And my non-technological self.
Anyway…
Goodnight. My love. I do love you.
And I wanted to let you know.
When the world is a little more simple.
Can I just walk outside in my morning,
With my coffee and dog and wander?
The dew is lifting. The sun is shining.
And I would love to have a two chair
Session on the patio. To sit and wander,
With you. My imagination flows.
My questions, grow. Oh, babe…
There are so many things, I
Want to know.
In the cool of morning. The dog pulling me,
my steps unsteady, as I am wishing only
For the warmth of my coffee, and the comfort of
My chair. My music will be on, probably too
Loud for the shared space of my community…
But, nobody has ever said anything. 😂
As a rule I am usually working on a post
In my head, about how to say good morning.
Today, apparently I am a bit out of order.
Good morning, my love.
Sometimes it is full of hope
Love joy and laughter, with just
A little sprinkling of sun…
Other times I’m in the dregs
Of it all, with bulging eyes, and
Whispers, angry claws, and tears.
I have had a full life. Silent screams.
Silent laughter. Silent fire.🔥
One thermal eternal flame.
Yeah. In love. With gratitude.
And a pain that is subsiding.
Hello, my love…
I love you.
I just do.
I hope that you have slept well.
I’m waking up for coffee this time,
But will probably go back down, again.
I do wake up every few hours…
Took care of myself at urgent care,
Yesterday. Feel better, new scripts.
Glad I went. So much happening.
Though not much, really, at all.
How do you take you coffee,
These days?
I love you and I hope you are having
A wonderful day. Things are … here.
I have hope they will turn around soon.
I’m always thinking of you. You are
The love of my life. Me
I slept well,
Finally…
And you?
Babe.
I hope you did too.
Always.
I would really
Really really
Love it if
We could
Spoon.
And just
Swoon.
I mean
I need you
To hold me.
I want the
Comfort of
Your self
In the presence
Of mine.
Perhaps
One day
Again.
We could’ve grabbed the world by the…
In ways I cannot even comprehend.
But, we had parents telling us to
Be president. Or astronauts.
And what if we didn’t want to
Fall out of the sky, while shooting
For the stars?
I would’ve been happy making s’mores
By a campfire, barefoot… looking at
You. Can we try again?
So far, my day is just getting started
(Again)…
Tomorrow’s a big day,
Back to surgeon.
I’m thinking of you and
Would love you to be here
With me and my morning
Coffee. Not very poetic,
And these days, I’m
Never quite with it.
Trying to get back to me.
I wanna go back to bed.
Anyway. Good morning,
My love. And you are,
My love.