u/Electrical-Sound-626

I work m-f 8:30-5 everyday. Dad works 6a-6pm 2 weekends off a month. A “mandatory overtime” day a week. The schedule is 2 days a week one weekend out the month. However one of those days he always says Is a mandatory over time day. He does not take her to school or pick her up because he can’t. Even on days he is off. I am struggling (bills are paid for, just no wiggle room for anything, not even savings) and wanting to pick up extra income and he refuses to watch her for a few extra hours. I even got a full scholarship and he refused extra week nights or the extra weekend so I can study and actually excel. I want better for my daughter. There is no child support, he does buy her clothes and shoes every now again but he’s telling me it’s not his duty to cover my ass and be able to provide for my daughter. Says if I need more time she needs to live with him primary and all I need to do is take her to school and pick her up. (Which is her getting up at 5am and him dropping her off and meeting me when he gets off at 6:30) Im not asking for that. I’m simply asking for more time to pick up extra income for us. I offered every other weekend, and the weeks he does not get her out the week the 1-2 nights he is off during that week. Is this unreasonable ? He says that he should have a weekend to his self for his self outside of being a dad and I need to rely on my mom and dad if I need to go back to school or get a second source of income. He lives 12 mins away from us. He has a new gf and she’s pregnant so I think this is why. Which is fine. I just don’t think what I’m asking for is unreasonable. It’s consistent and it’s fair. He gets off at 6pm everyday. I just don’t understand. I don’t ask him for anything bc he throws it in my face often how broke I am etc. publicly humiliated me. Told everyone I had to use an angel tree for Christmas. We went 50/50 on bills before he left and I had a savings. Car messed up. Had to use every bit of it. I’m scraping now. I’m just devastated. Because I want better for my daughter and I need him to just watch her so I can do it. He told me he is not giving up his weekend and asked where my mom and dad is to watch her so I can go back to school or get a second job because it isn’t his duty. Like you are her DAD! I’m so stressed out.

I am trying to go back to school and or pick up extra income for my daughter. I have her all of the time. Her dad is a correctional officer who apparently has mandatory overtime days . The schedule is 2x a week (which is one most of the time because the second day is always “mandatory overtime”). And One weekend out the month. He gets 2 weekends off. He says the one weekend is for his self . He’s saying that if he has to get her extra throughout the week he needs to be the primary parent. He cannot even take her to school or pick her up because he works 6a-6p. I have received a full scholarship but I’m scared to take the risk due to not having the time to study etc. I can’t even work a second job if he gets her for a few extra hours out of the week I could and he refuses. He tells me it’s not his duty to cover my a$$. All bills are paid, but I have no money left over to even save for savings. He doesn’t send me any money. I don’t even want anything from him but some extra help. I am thinking about going to court for a set schedule. I have offered every other weekend and the week that he doesn’t get her on the weekends he gets her on his off days. He refuses. Is this reasonable? Am I asking for too much. She’s with me full time I take her to and from school. I sacrifice everything and he will not help me and we’re scraping by. He doesn’t have near the amount of costs I do. He’s saying I’m bitter and he needs one weekend for his self . Idk what to do. He said if he goes to court he’s gonna make it take a different turn. I don’t understand why I have to have the ultimatum of either him take her on full time or he’s not getting extra ? Like he keeps saying I can’t take care of my child but it’s not that. I just want to have a savings and since our break up everything has been on me. I can’t win for losing . I feel like I’m going to embarrass myself because he works as a CO. He even asked me “where is your dad to where he can’t watch her while you go to work or school” like YOU ARE HER DAD. You live 12 mins away. If I take this to court will they help me? He keeps making idle threats idk why I’m so intimidated but I want so much better for my child and if I just had a little extra time I could make a way out of this. Again all of my bills are paid we have water, home, a car. But I just am scraping after all of that. With the prices of gas, day care just went up. everything is hard right now. And he has already publicly humiliated me for not being able to do as much as he can. I love my child and I want better not for her to go with him full time he can’t even handle her more than what he gets her. The schedule is just unfair.