u/Electrical_Rich_9381

I was sent this quote by my sponsor and made me think. Before I actually started trying to get sober, I wasn’t too satisfied with the life I was leading. I was desperate for change, willing to do anything to rewrite the narrative of my life. I can openly admit that what I wanted out of life conflicted with one of the core tenets of A.A. For me, I wanted the material possessions. I’ve been blessed, and extremely grateful, to have always had the support of my family, a healthy stable of friends, and I’ve never struggled with finding a partner to love me. Even when I lived in my car for a brief period of time years ago, I still had all of those things. No one knew, except my gf at the time and my mom, that I was living that way. My pride and ego refused to take the handout and allow them to help me with my living situation. I would always pretend, in my crazy mind, that the old beat up car I drive was the luxury vehicle I always wanted. I’d pretend, in my mind, that I was sleeping on a double king sized mattress when I lived in the car. It sounds crazy, because it is, but I always knew that’s what I wanted. It also became clear to me that I couldn’t have those things if I were to continue drinking and using at the rate that I was.

I came into AA for one thing and one thing only. I wanted a better life. I wanted to have nice things. Fast forward half a decade later, and I’ll be damned at what came from getting sober. I sat my dumb ass down, worked on myself, and I worked hard at being better. I bit the bullet and did things that I didn’t want to do, but had to be done, inside the rooms and out. I accepted I have a problem, identified my character defects, and gave all of that to God. I helped/help people in ways that I can. Over the years, the ways that I’m able to help has changed as my circumstances changed, but I still help those who want to be helped. By doing all of those things, at this point and age in my life, I’m exactly who I want to be. I have gained everything I thought I wanted. I still have the character defect where I push the goal post. It started with getting this car, having these clothes, having this address, etc., and once I achieve it, I want more. I’m coming to the terms that no matter how much I have, nothing will ever be enough in terms of material possessions, and I’m ok with that. I’m ok with that because God has blessed me with a beautiful family, great friends, great mentors, comfortability, and a new peace and happiness that I’ve never had in my life.

I look in the mirror in the morning, and I smile. When I’m at work, I smile. When I’m driving, I smile. When I’m buying something, I smile. When I’m with my wife and kid, I smile. I’ve come so far. I’ve transformed into exactly what I wanted to be. I’ve become what I told people I’d become years ago when it was only a pipe dream. It’s all been rooted in God and my sobriety. I completely understand that everyone’s needs, program, wants, and desires are different. But I know for me that, as long as I‘m able to talk to God and not drink or use, I’ll be fine.

I used to care what others think, but today, I don‘t give a fuck. I wish everyone well and hope they find their own peace and happiness. I used to want everyone to like me, but now I don’t give a fuck how people feel about me. My sponsor told me to focus on me and to continue doing what I do. My sponsor said the people who do hate me are merely fans because it’s a one sided hate. I remember when I couldn’t stand seeing people who were in the position that God has blessed me to be in today. I hated them because I thought that they thought they were better than me. Truth is, it was me who thought they were better than me. They were mirrors of my insecurities and it was a reflection of my failures and poor choices that caused me to hate them for doing well. That’s not the case for me today, and I’m grateful. I’ve been able to find out exactly who I am because I was unhappy with who I was, and I thank AA for putting me on the path to finding myself. It gave me the courage to do better and be better.

I just had this conversation with my best friend. he came in town this weekend because I havent seen him in awhile and I had to shkw my buddy what it’s like to fly first class. anyways, of course I naturally wanted to show him a good time. he knows I don’t drink, I know that he’s a raging degenerate. he knows he is too. we respect each others life choices lol.

I took him to one of the best clubs/lounges in the city last night. I paid $2000 for bottle service so he could have a good time. I also had some other friends come along too, so it made sense to get the service. we had all the top shelf stuff, and not once did I have the urge to have a drink. i’m married, so I played wingman all night. all the girls in the section were begging me to take a shot, but I simply told them I don’t drink. they didn’t care, but I’m secure enough in myself to know that I can’t have a drink, no matter how persistent the beautiful women are about me at least taking one shot. All my friends know I don’t drink, but only my best friend knows that I go to AA. no one that I see on a daily basis knows that I’m AA. they just think I’m some wizard who can resist temptation lol. I got my buddy a room at a 5 star hotel while he’s here to avoid the temptation of letting him bring the after to my house.

This morning, he woke up hungover, completely disoriented. i woke up feeling great, and i went to my early morning meeting. I told him there’s no need to drink everything, but he took it as a challenge lol. we had 8 people total in our section and we had 6 bottles. Tonight, we’re doing the exact same thing, different club. we are both enjoying ourselves, i just got to go to sleep sober and wake up sober not regretting the night before. he doesn’t regret the night we had, but he does regret how much he drank.

i sent my wife out of town with her mom and sister this weekend for a girls trip. she texted me earlier saying she wanted to buy some top shelf wine. she’s not an alcoholic by any means, but she like to have a glass or 2 of wine on the weekends. she found a few bottles she liked and I told her put it on the Amex. She spent 4700 on 3 bottles…

this weekend I’ve spent more on alcohol than I would’ve spent in a year when I was actively drinking. I’m grateful I can do it, but it kind of pisses me off too bc I would always drink bottom shelf when I was drinking. I never get the urge to drink, but sometimes I do want to have a sip of the alcohol that we gave in the house, or what we order when we go out because I never got to experience any of the good stuff. I’m also very aware that if I was still drinking I wouldn’t be able to afford any of this shit, so it’s a double edged sword.

in a weird way, Im grateful. I love seeing the people I love enjoy themselves, even if that includes alcohol. I’m just grateful that Ive learned to enjoy myself and be in the moment without needing to have a drink. I tell myself when I retire, I’ll start bsvk drinking. Probably isn’t the best idea, but it gives me a good 40 years of sober time. My sobriety has given me plenty of other things to be grateful for too, but this is most definitely a line item on that list.

I could be wrong, but it’s this is what I’ve observed over the years. The people who always share about there not being a God or having no Higher Power is the one usually getter their ass whooped by life. The more time they gave, the worse life is beating them.

Anothet observation I’ve made is that there are some people in AA who only recognize God when the going gets rough. Things get better, they disregard God, and things get rough again, but this time there’s no avail.

Clearly this isn’t the case for every single person who doesn’t believe in God or a Higher Power, but there’s usually a correlation there.

Me personally, I’ve never played about God or with God. I’m thankful and grateful for everything, plus I know the power of His grace and mercy, making me even more grateful. So I’ve never understood those who curse God or call his name in vein and then are shocked to find out that only getting sober wont fix everything. It’s kind of like the principles laid out in AA are the same principles laid out in the Bible and it all revolves around being a good person, not just being sober.

My wife was literally laughing and joking about this earlier today. She’s never met anyone who can stay up all night, get 3 hours of sleep, and still consistently function at a high rate lol. She’s come to the conclusion that it’s genetic. My dad goes to bed around 4-5am and wakes up around 7-8am and is ready to go. My mom has always done the same thing too while I was growing up. Both of my parents still barely sleep. I think it’s an advantage because I always tell my wife “money doesn’t sleep so neither do I” lol. She says it’s not normal, but I think it is.

Today I got an email from Amex stating that they were ”reviewing my account for a possible spending limit” due to my FICO score dropping 30 points because I paid off a car 4 years early.

For context, I bought a new car a little over 1 month ago. When I got the first car note, I just paid off the entire balance all at once. This led to that credit account closing. Because I paid it off so early, my credit score dropped. I went from a 742 to a 712.

Due to the temporary dip in my credit score, Amex said they were going to review my account for a possible spending limit(I currently don’t have a limit and my card has never declined, no matter how big the purchase), so I could with pay $17,000, or they would possible put a spending limit on the card. I had until May 12th to make the payment or await their decision.

I just ended up paying the $17000 and they immediately activated my card again with no spending limit. The representative on the phone noted that I have exceptional payment history and I’ve never been late/missed a payment.

I told her that because of my exceptional payment history, I shouldn’t have needed a review in the first place! I pay my balance in full every single month. I don’t use the pay later option for anything. I just pay what I owe as soon as I get the statement. Before this “review,” which didn’t even happen because I paid immediately, my account clearly stated “no payment is due at this time.” I feel like I’ve been fleeced into paying my monthly balance a few weeks early.(I was going to pay it anyways lol) Couldn’t Amex have seen that my credit dropped due to me paying $74,000 to close an auto loan account rather than me missing a payment/being a credit risk?

Has this ever happened to anyone before? Would they have actually put a limit on my card? What was even the point of it?

once a week I go to mMy gratitude meeting. The people in there are reflections of what I’d hate to be. I don’t speak to any of them, truth be told, Im better than them, but they keep me sober. it keeps me grounded because if I were to end up like any of those people, I’d probably end it all. My biggest fear is being old and miserable, so I keep coming back to avoid that. keeps me on the straight and narrow, putting in an extra effort at work, etc. My wife has been to this meeting with me before, she thinks all of these people are pure losers. she doesn’t even know why I go, but it’s purely because it’s a reflection of what could be. it’s weird, but it keeps me sober

Sometimes I sit back and think to myself where would I be if I wasn‘t sober? I’ve been very blessed and very lucky in my sobriety. I wouldn’t trade this for anything in the world. Had someone told me this is what my life looked like a few years ago, I wouldn’t have believed it. Especially if you would’ve told me it’d happen this quickly. I did the work and it’s visible. I run a program that looks a lot different from the AA standard, but it keeps me sober, and it’s been working well. I’m grateful. I started with nothing to lose, now I can’t even count all of my blessings. This shit works if you work it, and what I mean by that is, don’t drink or use. If you need to rely on the big book, do it. If fellowship is important for you, do it. Do what is needed for you and your sobriety. At the end of the day, the end goal is to not to take a drink or drug. I’m a firm believer that if you aren’t drinking or drugging, you should see positive changes. There should be upward progression in your life. You should be able to achieve what you set your mind to in sobriety. The Bible says that in order to be in contact with God, you’ll need a sober mind. As long as you’re sober, your higher power will hear you, and He will help you. As long as you’re putting in the work on your end, the rest will sort itself out.

I need a hotel room for my sister in-laws graduation within the next 2 weeks. All of the hotels that I would normally stay are sold out already. Would it be possible for the concierge to somehow find me a decent room at a place better than the Marriott? I’ve never used the concierge before, so I’d rather ask here before calling and wasting my time.