u/ElectronicAge2702

Ugh! Feeling so discouraged. Did mixed doubles, hit our goal time of 1:20 but when we looked at splits I couldn’t believe how slow we ran! I typically have like 4:50 at least in me, and our average runs were in the 5:30 range! Our last run was low 6!! I just can’t believe how much slower we were. We didn’t really track it on our watch and it was our first one, so a little overstimulated, but has anyone else had this happen? Am I just undertrained maybe? Just sucks when you train for months/weeks and then it’s totally off base to what you wanted

As title says, I was a hept at a d1 school. Did a lot of training, all day almost, running lifting jumping etc. I would say I was pretty fit, lean, and was a very strong, powerful athlete.

Fast forward, I’ve graduated 4 years ago but still workout pretty intensely. I had a small period where I took it easy trying to settle into different routines, but now I’m a big f45 fan, and love hybrid workouts. I’m doing my first hyrox race in October, and had done a half marathon after I graduated.

My problem that I’ve uncovered while training for hyrox is that I have been paying more attention to HR than I ever have before. We never paid attention to it in college. Maybe I’m doing too much research overload, maybe I’m asking Claude and ChatGPT too much… but I’ve really been looking at my HR and have noticed that my HR typically is very high. My garmin says my max HR is 204, resting is 44. When I do my long runs, if I want to stay in the “z2,” I’m looking at like 10:45-11+ pace.. but even for running harder reps, like tonight I did 4x1k, my HR shot to 190 at 8 min pace, and then even when I brought the pace down to 8:45 pace, my heart rate remained at 180 even though it felt easy.

I’m just having a hard time understanding if I’m actually just not as fit as I think, or maybe I’m leaning too heavily on HR data and need to just go off feel rather than trying to nail the science down? Anyone have any tips because I read a lot of threads of beginner runners having this issue, which I get with no base, but I’m struggling knowing that I have a long standing history of running and doing intense workouts but my HR not showing it or keeping up.

For context, I am a 27F and my best friend is in residency. We have been friends forever, but will say that we are different in many aspects (but of course similar in many as well). We have very different views on money - she is very much a spender, she would go on Europe trips during med school or spring break trips where she'd spend a lot drinking, etc. and I always couldn't believe she'd be willing to do this, especially since she didn't work throughout med school or college. She maybe dog sat here and there, but hasn't had a job except for medical school, which I totally get is demanding. She did have a grandmother who gave her money for her tuition, yet she still took loans and spent that money on everyday living. Her parents do help her too, but now that she's a resident she makes money. It's truly like her first time working, but she is also living on her own now.

Anyways, she told me she was coming home for a week and wanted to go on a trip together, just a day trip thing and stay overnight. I said ok, and we planned out a cute little overnight trip. Again, where we differed, she is tried to suggest ideas for hotels and literally suggested 2 star motels, and I refused to stay there. She said she didn't want to spend 600+ dollars on a hotel, to which I argued there were plenty of options that weren't that expensive, but I also wasn't comfortable in a motel that may be dirty, etc. I couldn't get why, especially now making her own money, she'd suggest such poor motels. That maybe should've been my first red flag.

We landed on a cute B&B that I found, and she had asked me if I booked it. I told her I was going to the next day. Once I booked, and she confirmed she was good with it, I told her the split was going to be 170 each (I got a deal too from work, another bonus!).... she said okay great and that was it... ok, no biggie. I assumed she was getting paid at the end of the month, so I waited. August 1 came and went, nothing.

Well, we went on our trip this past week. For starters, I drove, which is fine because she flew in with no car. totally fine I didn't care. She did pay for parking, which was great (40 dollars for overnight). We get to our destination and in the car I said "hey by the way did I ever tell you how much our split is? it's 170 each" and she just said oh I don't remember if you had mentioned, and she left it at that.... ok.... odd! We go, check in, wants a card for incidentals, she doesn't even move. ok fine, I put mine down. no worries. We go to the beach and we are chatting about life, and I said isn't it great to be making adult money now! to which she tells me she feels she's living paycheck to paycheck. She talks about how she has to pay rent (1500), how she pays for her car reg every year which is about 400, how she just had to get said car fixed, her loans are picking back up soon so she will have to pay that, oh and she had flown home multiple times (dog died so she came home, went to sisters bachelorette, flew home) etc. and she feels like she isn't saving anything. She only has 2500 in savings. I felt bad. But also, I feel like that's a consequence of her not being smart with her money? Well - continue on the trip - we go one place for starters and she picked up that bill because she got a beer and a shot + discounted apps we split (the food was 12 dollars) - she pays that its maybe 30-40 dollars. she tells me she is happy to splurge for dinner, we go to a nice restaurant and she doesn't even move to pay for the bill. she stuck me with a 130 dollar dinner bill. we go for ice cream - she tells girl we are paying separate. Next day, she paid for lunch which was 25 dollars. coffee, she says pay separate. all this to say, never offered to split dinner. never paid her part of the hotel.

I will say, I am grateful because I have been working since I graduated (only 4 years but still) and make pretty good money, I do also hustle - I work like 3-4 jobs, I am good with money, I am start about things. She also made a point to ask me exactly what my salary is at my job, which I felt like was her priming in future to use that against me. I wouldn't have cared if she brought this all up and said she was having financial issues but wanted to take a trip and asked me to cover some things like the hotel - that's fine, at least I get a heads up and know going into it that im doing that. this felt shitty because she didn't tell me ahead of time and decided for me that I could afford to do this. All this to say, I will be more cautious if she ever wants to do something like a trip again. it's not the first time she's had me pay for dinner, she's notoriously never reached for her wallet at dinners, but I just thought now that she's employed she'd be more fair.

If anyone got here, thank u for listening to me and giving me a space to vent about this lololol