u/EllieKong

I don’t even really know how.. but I have literally no one to talk to about this and it’s killing me.

My husband and I don’t want kids, we haven’t for years, my personal choice was solidified gradually over half a decade. My doctor told me that based on my medical issues, she’s willing to do a hysterectomy for me. This was super exciting to me especially due to my period issues (I once bled for 6 months straight lol), but I also don’t have insurance through work. I’m going to become an independent contractor for the first time and insurance looks fucking expensive right now. I obviously need insurance to have the surgery, but looking into everything is so overwhelming right now that I feel a bit numb.

I’m excited to have the surgery, yet I feel a bit anxious at the idea probably due to my cult upbringing. All my friends either have kids or can’t have kids. Not wanting children is not acceptable and it’s so goddamn annoying. I was asked about children from a client this week and while she meant well, she was shocked to hear I hated kids and didn’t want them. She pressed me on it and she’ll know about my surgery, so I figured I’d just tell her about it and see how I could navigate that conversation, but then she brought up adoption….. my sister and BIL are infertile, I watched them try to adopt. You can’t “just” adopt. You have to have so much excess money to do something like that on top of the whole process of shit you have to do. Why would you tell someone to go through all those hoops to have something they just told you they hated? Even worse she immediately stopped questioning me about it after I said my husband didn’t want kids when she asked. I hate having this conversation no matter what angle I try to approach it from. The only approach that has worked for me in response to do you want kids has been “what would that add to my life”. People are taken aback and don’t know how to respond lol.

Anyway, I guess I’d like to hear some of your experiences, advice or general words of encouragement. I’ve not even talked to my mom about it yet.

I know USF uses canvas, I’m trying to figure out some logistics and I’m wondering if USF has any fully online classes or are they mostly all in person?

I’ve been a personal trainer in sports medicine for about 2 years now and I’m slowly transitioning to becoming independent this year. I want to make sure I have my ducks in order and that I don’t forget anything important.

My next step is getting insurance for June. I’ve already found a policy, but if you know of good companies, I’m still open to looking around! I’ve completed most of my internal forms for field work, I’m in the process of completing an intake form and policies, but to be honest I don’t fully know what my policies are yet. I don’t know how I want to handle payments, I might make that policy different for new vs recurrent clients.. but I also don’t know what works best. Do you guys prefer cash? Do you set up an account like Venmo? Any policies I should make sure I have in there? I’m also trying to figure out my cancellation policy.

Other than that, I’m able to rent out the space at my current job, I’m meeting with HR about that later this week or next for more details. I know I’ll need to get quickbooks or an equivalent, my marketing products are in the works with my graphic designer, a website will be whipped up by my software engineer husband.. but what else am I missing? There’s so much stuff to think through.

I need surgery and I’ll need to get insurance either through my husbands work or school. Any info is great!