u/Embarrassed_Pilot792

I don’t know who needs to hear this as any professor out there reading this, but we genuinely do not give a shit about your life. I’m in my fourth year of pre law and I still see professors taking up like 30-40 minutes of lecture time to talk about their wives and their last trip to Thailand or whatever. Who gives a shit! How conceited do you have to be to make students who PAY TO BE THERE sit and listen to you talk about your life. Unless the details of your boat ride in Thailand are coming in my constitutional law exam then please keep it to yourself!!!!
Yesterday I literally broke down crying because I had so much shit to do when I go home but I was stuck in the lecture room, thirty minutes after the lecture was supposed to end, listening to my teacher talk about nonsense when he was supposed to be going over what’s coming in our exams. He never got to explain what’s coming in the exam and now we’re forced to resort to multiple emails just to figure it out.

Again, we DONT CARE!!! And then they wonder why half of us don’t even show up to lectures anymore and resort to skimming through the recorded ones online to see what’s important. I legit only have one lecturer that I genuinely like, most of my classmates and I are even planning to get him a gift basket at the end of the semester to thank him. And you know what he does? He comes in, he explains the topic thoroughly, he answers our questions, and he ends the lecture right on time. We don’t know anything about his life other than that he’s a lawyer and he’s very passionate about it. Literally a dream lecturer.

Hey everyone sorry if this doesn’t fit the subreddit but im feeling a lot of things right now and I’m not sure if my actions were correct.

I was very very close friends with these two girls for about 6 years up until 2023 when my dad passed away. I’ve been through a lot of difficult shit in my life but losing my dad is the toughest thing I’ve ever been through and to this day I still feel a great deal of grief that doesn’t seem to be going away. My best friends at the time knew that my father was my only living relative in this country so it shouldn’t have come as a surprise to them that I had changed completely as a person because of it, but it did.

Our friendship greatly deteriorated because I was just very sensitive at the time and couldn’t handle the normal banter and friendly bullying that we were used to. They distanced themselves from me under the guise of giving me space. I admit I had a crash out about that and had a massive argument with them about how they haven’t been considerate to me at all during that period of grief. We stopped talking for a few months and I came back apologizing to them and asking if we can start over, to which they told me that our friendship is over and to go away.

It didn’t stop there. I found out they were talking about me behind my back through mutual friends, making memes of my face on their private instagrams, sharing very private details about me to others. This one girl’s sister even approached me at uni last year and made fun of me for being held back in some classes until I cried.

3 years later I’ve made new friends and while I’m not close to them like I was to my ex friends I am happier at least and I’m surrounded by people that care about me.

Now a few days ago I got a text from my ex friend (whose sister bullied me) telling me that her dad passed away last month and she’s been struggling so much. Our other friend distanced herself from her and she’s pretty much going through the exact same thing I went through. She told me she really needs support and I’m the only person who could understand how she’s feeling.

I admit I got really really angry when I read that text. She’s expecting the same mercy from me that she couldn’t give me when my dad passed away. I gave her condolences and told her this is a very rough time and to not be too hard on herself the same way I was hard on myself. I thought I’d just leave it at there but she’s been texting me everyday sending rants about her grief and I’ve been reluctantly responding with as minimal support as I could give.

She didn’t apologize for how she treated me, she didn’t show any regrets or whatever, just straight up wanted support.

I like to think i’m a good person and very forgiving, but this is very difficult for me. I was alone for so long, I wanted to die at some point and no one was there for me. I wanted to give her support because I never want anyone to feel the way I did, but a part of me still feels cheated. Why should she have a shoulder to cry on when I didn’t? I know it’s such a selfish thought, but please understand that the pain stuck with me so much.

I dont know what to do. I know the right thing is to be there for her, but I can’t stop feeling this level of betrayal. Like I’m mocking my own self by giving her mercy for her grief when she mocked me for mine .

Any advice is welcome and thank you in advance 🩵