u/Emotional-Wait6997

hi ive come to this subreddit because i wish to share some advice that i wish i could've recieved earlier so hopefully this is of value to anyone reading

i think most of us got introduced to pornography from a young age and carried into teens and adulthood however the use of pornography keeps us in a guilt loop and very hard to escape. I see commonly with people who want to quit (and me aswell in the past) they say im not going to watch porn anymore and quit but in my experience doing this doesn't work and im sure most people can agree that they have told themselves countless times this the last time but eventually come back and consume it again.
Another common thing i see when people decide to quit cold turkey is that they keep a streak of days without the use of pornography and i want to say this is a wrong move, keeping a streak is not going to give you more willpower to keep going, its just going to remind your brain that you are forbidding yourself of it and it just puts it on your mind more so for anyone that uses streaks i recommend you strongly reconsider using them.

So how can i quit?

After years of struggling i can finally say i have quit pornography. And i want to share what i wish someone shared with me. so this is how i did it: The first thing you need to internalize is that: Humans are driven by our biological needs. Humans are animals, we have a drive and desire for sex that millions of years of evolution has led up to and we are programmed with a drive for reproduction and finding other human bodies attractive for reproduction.
So you have these desires right, now you must understand where these desires come from. in timple terms Our brains operate on two differnt modes of thinking: fast thinking and slow thinking. Basically whenever you see someone have intercourse or someone appealing your brain immediately uses its fast thinking without your control and gets you aroused these are our natural human impulses but then there's the other mode which is the slow thinking. Slow thinking is how we think of things rationally and logically but this thinking is slower than the fast thinking (primal and evolutionary drives) so it is much easier to just give in into those impulses. However i find that being aware that that we are animals that evolution led up to reproduce and find others sexually appealing to pass down our genes has helped me tremendously whenever i get an urge. I stop to think wait this is not actually me, this is just a drive im having and i can decide what do do with it. You dont have to give in, you can stop and think why am i feeling like this? so thats my first point.

My second point is: You are doing this to yourself. You are the only one responsible for your guilt of the use of pornography. You have probably conditioned yourself to believe masturbating and pornography is a tabboo or wrong giving yourself guilt and not forgiving yourself for using it again. So i believe allowing yourself forgiveness and moving on with your day is important. You must break the cycle of oh i masturbated again im a piece of crap and ruin the rest of your day. Instead of this i think if you eventually find yourself using it again its okay to forgive yourself after all you are your best friend and you would forgive your best friend too so why not yourself? Also masturbating is a natural act and shouldn't be seen as a tabboo it allows you to let go of tension and relax so it is fine to masturbate once in a while there's no guilt in it since its only natural. However pornography i view it differently, I think it is generally better to stay away from it and just masturbate without any external pornography use because pornography (in my experience) has negative effects on your brain. It probably makes you more nervous around the gender you are attracted to, sometimes maybe look at people sexually in your daily life , makes you more insecure and can also cause erectile problems during intercourse. Also use of pornography can leave you with comparison thoughts and false expectations for when you have intercourse. Plus the industry is not great and in general you get a buch of negative effects from it.

Third point i want to say is: Understand your triggers you probably get your triggers when you have nothing to do or you are alone in your room or whenever you see any suggestive content in social media, movies, etc so i would suggest trying to reduce those triggers. I find that reducing social media use is helpful.

Also something i found that tremendously helps is make it a lifestyle choice and add it to your identity. You are a person that doesn't use pornography internalizing that helps.

Instead of thinking: "im a gooner that tries to quit" instead, think of it as: "i am a person that decides not to use pornography." :)

Also a super important thing that helped me is search and find your passions and what you want to use your time in this planet for

There is so much to do with our limited time on this planet and it would be a shame to waste it on something that doesnt do you any favours. Instead you can do those things you are passionate about or consuming books, mangas, series, movies that you really want to see or spending time with those deat to you l. Also if you want to for example be a game developer (my case) then use that time to learn how to become a programmer, art, music and and all its processes thats just an example but yeah i believe the most important tip here is this: find what you are passionate about and what you want to do in your one life

once you fill your life with other things you want to do and experience you wont even have time to think about pornography:)

also think to yourself do i want to continue using porn until im __ age? probably not. you probably have so much you want to do in your life so be passionate live authentically and be happy :)

*For anyone stuck in a guilt loop*
i also think that lets say i masturbated but instead of going immediatly into the guilt i just pause for a moment and just observe with my mind: i did something that i dont fully allign with but its okay i just gave in into my impulses, everything's okay and clean up afterwards without feeling guilt. After all we are just human and we are allowed to make mistakes plus we didnt choose these sexual desires lol so its okay. We can choose how we react and respond to them you may not change your past and your mistakes but you can change the present and the present shapes the future so be kind to yourself and good luck :)

hi ive come to this subreddit because i wish to share some advice that i wish i could've recieved earlier so hopefully this is of value to anyone reading

i think most of us got introduced to pornography from a young age and carried into teens and adulthood however the use of pornography keeps us in a guilt loop and very hard to escape. I see commonly with people who want to quit (and me aswell in the past) they say im not going to watch porn anymore and quit but in my experience doing this doesn't work and im sure most people can agree that they have told themselves countless times this the last time but eventually come back and consume it again.
Another common thing i see when people decide to quit cold turkey is that they keep a streak of days without the use of pornography and i want to say this is a wrong move, keeping a streak is not going to give you more willpower to keep going, its just going to remind your brain that you are forbidding yourself of it and it just puts it on your mind more so for anyone that uses streaks i recommend you strongly reconsider using them.

So how can i quit?

After years of struggling i can finally say i have quit pornography. And i want to share what i wish someone shared with me. so this is how i did it: The first thing you need to internalize is that: **Humans are driven by our biological needs**. Humans are animals, we have a drive and desire for sex that millions of years of evolution has led up to and we are programmed with a drive for reproduction and finding other human bodies attractive for reproduction.
So you have these desires right, now you must understand where these desires come from. in timple terms Our brains operate on two differnt modes of thinking: fast thinking and slow thinking. Basically whenever you see someone have intercourse or someone appealing your brain immediately uses its fast thinking without your control and gets you aroused these are our natural human impulses but then there's the other mode which is the slow thinking. Slow thinking is how we think of things rationally and logically but this thinking is slower than the fast thinking (primal and evolutionary drives) so it is much easier to just give in into those impulses. However i find that being aware that that we are animals that evolution led up to reproduce and find others sexually appealing to pass down our genes has helped me tremendously whenever i get an urge. I stop to think wait this is not actually me, this is just a drive im having and i can decide what do do with it. You dont have to give in, you can stop and think why am i feeling like this? so thats my first point.

My second point is: You are doing this to yourself. You are the only one responsible for your **guilt** of the use of pornography. You have probably conditioned yourself to believe masturbating and pornography is a tabboo or wrong giving yourself guilt and not forgiving yourself for using it again. So i believe allowing yourself forgiveness and moving on with your day is important. You must break the cycle of oh i masturbated again im a piece of crap and ruin the rest of your day. Instead of this i think if you eventually find yourself using it again its okay to forgive yourself after all you are your best friend and you would forgive your best friend too so why not yourself? Also masturbating is a natural act and shouldn't be seen as a tabboo it allows you to let go of tension and relax so it is fine to masturbate once in a while there's no guilt in it since its only natural. However pornography i view it differently, I think it is generally better to stay away from it and just masturbate without any external pornography use because pornography (in my experience) has negative effects on your brain. It probably makes you more nervous around the gender you are attracted to, sometimes maybe look at people sexually in your daily life , makes you more insecure and can also cause erectile problems during intercourse. Also use of pornography can leave you with comparison thoughts and false expectations for when you have intercourse. Plus the industry is not great and in general you get a buch of negative effects from it.

Third point i want to say is: **Understand your triggers** you probably get your triggers when you have nothing to do or you are alone in your room or whenever you see any suggestive content in social media, movies, etc so i would suggest trying to reduce those triggers. I find that reducing social media use is helpful.

Also something i found that tremendously helps is make it a lifestyle choice and add it to your identity. You are a person that doesn't use pornography internalizing that helps.

Instead of thinking: "im a gooner that tries to quit" instead, think of it as: "i am a person that decides not to use pornography." :)

Also a super important thing that helped me is **search and find your passions and what you want to use your time in this planet for**

There is so much to do with our limited time on this planet and it would be a shame to waste it on something that doesnt do you any favours. Instead you can do those things you are passionate about or consuming books, mangas, series, movies that you really want to see or spending time with those deat to you l. Also if you want to for example be a game developer (my case) then use that time to learn how to become a programmer, art, music and and all its processes thats just an example but yeah i believe the most important tip here is this: **find what you are passionate about and what you want to do in your one life**

once you fill your life with other things you want to do and experience you wont even have time to think about pornography:)

also think to yourself do i want to continue using porn until im \_\_ age? probably not. you probably have so much you want to do in your life so be passionate live authentically and be happy :)

\***For anyone stuck in a guilt loop**\*
i also think that lets say i masturbated but instead of going immediatly into the guilt i just pause for a moment and just observe with my mind: i did something that i dont fully allign with but its okay i just gave in into my impulses, everything's okay and clean up afterwards without feeling guilt. After all we are just human and we are allowed to make mistakes plus we didnt choose these sexual desires lol so its okay. We can choose how we react and respond to them you may not change your past and your mistakes but you can change the present and the present shapes the future so be kind to yourself and good luck :)

hi ive come to this subreddit because i wish to share some advice that i wish i could've recieved earlier so hopefully this is of value to anyone reading

i think most of us got introduced to pornography from a young age and carried into teens and adulthood however the use of pornography keeps us in a guilt loop and very hard to escape. I see commonly with people who want to quit (and me aswell in the past) they say im not going to watch porn anymore and quit but in my experience doing this doesn't work and im sure most people can agree that they have told themselves countless times this the last time but eventually come back and consume it again.
Another common thing i see when people decide to quit cold turkey is that they keep a streak of days without the use of pornography and i want to say this is a wrong move, keeping a streak is not going to give you more willpower to keep going, its just going to remind your brain that you are forbidding yourself of it and it just puts it on your mind more so for anyone that uses streaks i recommend you strongly reconsider using them.

So how can i quit?

After years of struggling i can finally say i have quit pornography. And i want to share what i wish someone shared with me. so this is how i did it: The first thing you need to internalize is that: **Humans are driven by our biological needs**. Humans are animals, we have a drive and desire for sex that millions of years of evolution has led up to and we are programmed with a drive for reproduction and finding other human bodies attractive for reproduction.
So you have these desires right, now you must understand where these desires come from. in timple terms Our brains operate on two differnt modes of thinking: fast thinking and slow thinking. Basically whenever you see someone have intercourse or someone appealing your brain immediately uses its fast thinking without your control and gets you aroused these are our natural human impulses but then there's the other mode which is the slow thinking. Slow thinking is how we think of things rationally and logically but this thinking is slower than the fast thinking (primal and evolutionary drives) so it is much easier to just give in into those impulses. However i find that being aware that that we are animals that evolution led up to reproduce and find others sexually appealing to pass down our genes has helped me tremendously whenever i get an urge. I stop to think wait this is not actually me, this is just a drive im having and i can decide what do do with it. You dont have to give in, you can stop and think why am i feeling like this? so thats my first point.

My second point is: You are doing this to yourself. You are the only one responsible for your **guilt** of the use of pornography. You have probably conditioned yourself to believe masturbating and pornography is a tabboo or wrong giving yourself guilt and not forgiving yourself for using it again. So i believe allowing yourself forgiveness and moving on with your day is important. You must break the cycle of oh i masturbated again im a piece of crap and ruin the rest of your day. Instead of this i think if you eventually find yourself using it again its okay to forgive yourself after all you are your best friend and you would forgive your best friend too so why not yourself? Also masturbating is a natural act and shouldn't be seen as a tabboo it allows you to let go of tension and relax so it is fine to masturbate once in a while there's no guilt in it since its only natural. However pornography i view it differently, I think it is generally better to stay away from it and just masturbate without any external pornography use because pornography (in my experience) has negative effects on your brain. It probably makes you more nervous around the gender you are attracted to, sometimes maybe look at people sexually in your daily life , makes you more insecure and can also cause erectile problems during intercourse. Also use of pornography can leave you with comparison thoughts and false expectations for when you have intercourse. Plus the industry is not great and in general you get a buch of negative effects from it.

Third point i want to say is: **Understand your triggers** you probably get your triggers when you have nothing to do or you are alone in your room or whenever you see any suggestive content in social media, movies, etc so i would suggest trying to reduce those triggers. I find that reducing social media use is helpful.

Also something i found that tremendously helps is make it a lifestyle choice and add it to your identity. You are a person that doesn't use pornography internalizing that helps.

Instead of thinking: "im a gooner that tries to quit" instead, think of it as: "i am a person that decides not to use pornography." :)

Also a super important thing that helped me is **search and find your passions and what you want to use your time in this planet for**

There is so much to do with our limited time on this planet and it would be a shame to waste it on something that doesnt do you any favours. Instead you can do those things you are passionate about or consuming books, mangas, series, movies that you really want to see or spending time with those deat to you l. Also if you want to for example be a game developer (my case) then use that time to learn how to become a programmer, art, music and and all its processes thats just an example but yeah i believe the most important tip here is this: **find what you are passionate about and what you want to do in your one life**

once you fill your life with other things you want to do and experience you wont even have time to think about pornography:)

also think to yourself do i want to continue using porn until im \_\_ age? probably not. you probably have so much you want to do in your life so be passionate live authentically and be happy :)

\***For anyone stuck in a guilt loop**\*
i also think that lets say i masturbated but instead of going immediatly into the guilt i just pause for a moment and just observe with my mind: i did something that i dont fully allign with but its okay i just gave in into my impulses, everything's okay and clean up afterwards without feeling guilt. After all we are just human and we are allowed to make mistakes plus we didnt choose these sexual desires lol so its okay. We can choose how we react and respond to them you may not change your past and your mistakes but you can change the present and the present shapes the future so be kind to yourself and good luck :)