u/Emotional_Fun_9218

Hi, I don’t usually do this because I like to talk to my partner about these things but they have been very distant and not wanting to respond. Recently they got out of a psych hold of a month, and have been home for about a week now. When they got home they seemed all excited to talk to me then by the next day I was left on delivered for hours on end, kept leaving me to play video games with random people. Recently though they have been playing with an old friend they haven’t talked to and im glad they can do that, but today another old friend reached out to them and they started matching banners on a game we play together and did not message me the whole time they were together. I asked to join them because they had room and all they told me was “we’re talking” and that was end of the discussion. I saw they deleted a playlist they made for me but I am still on all of their other socials. I’m just not to sure what is happening, I have seen their episodes twice before and one ended in us on a break for a couple days. But this just feels different, and im not to sure if it’s a split or they are just checking out of the relationship. I’ve asked them if we’re okay before and they said yes while telling me they love me, but these last few hours contradict that and I am worried. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

My (19F) partner (19M) has been diagnosed with BPD and has been aware of it for a while. Recently he was in an academy for things specializing in this and he got out a few days ago. When he first did he texted me all excited that he couldn’t wait to be home with me, but by the next day it was like things changed. He got more distant and quiet, when I told him I loved him he did say it back but then would be like “okay im gonna go bye” and I wouldn’t hear from him for a couple hours. Yes, there are times where he needs to be alone and I respect that boundary and give it to him. Last time he was like this he had an episode. We ended up taking a break because he wanted to, but by the next afternoon he was texting me telling me he was sorry and he didn’t want to be without me. Before that he did exhibit the same signs he’s exhibiting now. He’s not on his main socials much anymore, he’s taking longer to reply and is more dry, and he’s very closed off again. I love him dearly. More than I have ever loved anyone to be truthful. He also made a friend while he was gone, he says he misses all the friends he made there but I believe one in particular became his new favorite person? Because he is holding her to kind of a different standard than the other. I know others would think this is cheating, but he’s not the type to do that. When he’s in an episode he thinks back on his past and idolizes some people. I appreciate the girl helping him to settle in better and the girl also knows I am his girlfriend, but I do think he might have had a slight attachment to her. I don’t necessarily think it was romantic, but I do think it’s messing with him because that was like the only person he had contact with for a month. I know the girl also has a boyfriend, but I can’t help overthinking it a little. He’s always told me if he didn’t want to date me anymore he wouldn’t and that he wouldn’t drag it on. I do believe an episode is coming on for him and I feel horrible he has to deal with this but I want to show him im there and not going anywhere. I love him very dearly and I want to be the person who can do that the rest of his life. I don’t really know what im asking for I guess, but I think I just want to be reassured that he does love me and what my friends are saying isn’t true. If he had feelings for another person he wouldn’t be with me, he doesn’t like people that do that.