u/EmphasisExtra5842

I'm 4 months postpartum.

My MIL constantly takes my baby from me whenever he cries, is gassy, fussy, or sick so she can comfort him herself. The moment he gets uncomfortable, she immediately steps in and takes over, and I’m left feeling completely sidelined as his mom.

I know she probably means well and wants to help, but emotionally it’s getting really hard on me. Especially when my baby is sick or upset those are moments where I naturally want to comfort him myself, not watch someone else do it while I sit there feeling invisible.

What makes it harder is that my husband keeps saying we “need her help” because I’ll be joining work again soon. So anytime I bring up how I feel, it becomes about being practical and grateful instead of acknowledging that I’m struggling emotionally with the situation.

I’m not against help at all. I know childcare support is valuable, especially when returning to work. But I wish helping didn’t have to mean taking over or making me feel replaced as a mother.

I already feel guilty for being upset because everyone else sees this as loving grandmother behavior, but honestly I feel sad, pushed aside, and disconnected from my own baby sometimes.

Has anyone navigated this kind of situation while living with or depending on family help? How did you set gentle boundaries without causing resentment?

I'm 4 months postpartum.

My MIL constantly takes my baby from me whenever he cries, is gassy, fussy, or sick so she can comfort him herself. The moment he gets uncomfortable, she immediately steps in and takes over, and I’m left feeling completely sidelined as his mom.

I know she probably means well and wants to help, but emotionally it’s getting really hard on me. Especially when my baby is sick or upset those are moments where I naturally want to comfort him myself, not watch someone else do it while I sit there feeling invisible.

What makes it harder is that my husband keeps saying we “need her help” because I’ll be joining work again soon. So anytime I bring up how I feel, it becomes about being practical and grateful instead of acknowledging that I’m struggling emotionally with the situation.

I’m not against help at all. I know childcare support is valuable, especially when returning to work. But I wish helping didn’t have to mean taking over or making me feel replaced as a mother.

I already feel guilty for being upset because everyone else sees this as loving grandmother behavior, but honestly I feel sad, pushed aside, and disconnected from my own baby sometimes.

Also, We can't hire a nanny or cook here. It will strain our relationship with in-laws as we are in a joint family.

Has anyone navigated this kind of situation while living with or depending on family help? How did you set gentle boundaries without causing resentment?

I just need to vent and see if anyone else is dealing with this, because I’m about to lose my mind. ​My MIL and FIL love my baby, but they absolutely do not understand the concept of wake windows or sleep cues. My son is 4 months old now, and we finally have somewhat of a routine down. ​The issue is, the second he lets out a single peep or cry, their immediate, automatic response is: "Is he hungry? You need to feed him." ​They will ask me if he’s hungry literally every 30 minutes. ​I am EBF mom, and honestly, it feels so invalidating. It’s like they think my only purpose is to be a 24/7 drive-thru, and they completely ignore the fact that the poor baby is actually just exhausted because they’ve been overstimulating him past his wake window. ​I try to explain that he just ate 45 minutes ago and that he's actually rubbing his eyes because he's tired, but it’s like talking to a brick wall. To them, a crying baby only means a hungry baby. ​How do you guys handle the constant "is he hungry?" comments without snapping? Why is the concept of a tired baby so foreign to the older generation?!

I am officially at my breaking point. ​My LO is 4 months old. We are currently in the thick of the 4-month sleep regression. He’s tired, he’s fussy, and he’s fighting his naps like it’s his job. It’s normal. It’s developmental. It’s science. ​But according to my MIL? No, it’s not biological. It’s apparently because I haven’t performed a culinary sacrifice. ​She just looked me dead in the eye and told me I need to express a drop of breastmilk onto a red-hot ladle. Why? Because apparently, the sizzle will magically convince my baby to stop being fussy at the breast. ​I tried to explain the concept of sleep regression. Her response? A blank stare and a "Well, in my day, we just sizzled the milk and the baby stopped crying".

Has anyone else dealt with this level of superstitious nonsense? Please tell me I’m not the only one fighting "tradition" with actual logic.

I am officially at my breaking point. ​My LO is 4 months old. We are currently in the thick of the 4-month sleep regression. He’s tired, he’s fussy, and he’s fighting his naps like it’s his job. It’s normal. It’s developmental. It’s science. ​But according to my MIL? No, it’s not biological. It’s apparently because I haven’t performed a culinary sacrifice. ​She just looked me dead in the eye and told me I need to express a drop of breastmilk onto a red-hot ladle. Why? Because apparently, the sizzle will magically convince my baby to stop being "fussy" at the breast. ​I tried to explain the concept of sleep regression. Her response? A blank stare and a "Well, in my day, we just sizzled the milk and the baby stopped crying."

MIL has been really helpful during postpartum but she has millions of such superstitions and always interferes in my EBF journey.

Has anyone else dealt with this level of superstitious nonsense? Please tell me I’m not the only one fighting "tradition" with actual logic.

Saw a video few days back that she is grieving.. suddenly a lot of thirst trap stories..

I’m currently 3 months postpartum and trying to process the absolute mind-game that is living with my in-laws right now. I honestly don't know if I'm being ungrateful or if I'm being pushed to a breaking point. ​On one hand, my MIL is doing all the household chores and helping a ton. But the emotional cost is becoming unbearable.

​The second I put my son down after feeding him, she’s there. She snatches him up immediately, barely giving me a second to just be with him. And the passive-aggressive comments? They’re constant. She doesn't say them to my face.. she talks to the baby about me while I’m standing right there.

​Then there’s my FIL. He’s been incredibly strict about me breastfeeding, acting like formula is a sin. Neither of them seemed to care that I just went through an emergency C-section and was physically exhausted. My MIL even took it upon herself to check my milk supply while I was nursing, which felt like such a violation of my privacy and body.

Also my MIL has a million superstitious rules that I’m expected to follow without question.

​I feel like a ghost in my own house. I’m the vessel that provided the grandson, and now that he’s here, my only job is to produce milk while they handle the real parenting. I appreciate the cooking and cleaning, but is it worth my mental health? ​How do you set boundaries with people who are technically "helping" you, but also making you feel completely invisible and judged as a mother? Has anyone else dealt with this?