Quitting THC help!
To anyone out there with a similar story I (48F) really, really need some help. I've been using THC in different forms, mostly smoking for about 15 years. I've had good reason to quit, even though I enjoy it immensely, but felt I finally wanted to take the leap and stop using every day. I've taken a few breaks before, but these are few and far between and I used alcohol to get through them not really paying attention to how I was feeling. I decided a few weeks ago to start cutting back and thought I had done so successfully. I even stopped using a few days on and off and thought it was going well. Boy was I ever wrong. I finally quit cold turkey and had a plan to stick with it. I thought it would be a 2-3 week ordeal and I was ready and determined. The first 8 days were 'fine.' I had nausea, a difficult time sleeping, woke up early, body aches and lost my appetite. I pushed through it thinking I was getting through the worst of it. I could do some work but had difficulty concentrating and was even doing a little house work. It was rough, but I genuinely thought the hurdle would be boredom and social anxiety, which I've always had a hard time with.
On day 9 however, I crashed. HARD. I was NOT prepared in the least for the nightmares, the sweats and the total sleep deprivation. I could barely stand up. Even short naps produced intense nightmares and I started feeling like I was losing my mind and had set off some sort of deep depression. My body ached like I had the flu. I started crying and couldn't stop. I also had to work, and because I thought the worst of it would be in the beginning, not the second week, and each day was getting progressively worse, I panicked. I tried to stick with it but on day 10-11 I went back on the oil I had been using to cut back. I couldn't take it anymore. It felt like this nightmare would never end and I'd be needing medication or end up in the ER. I tried to do research online but its been super confusing. Some articles say taper, others say taper won't work because I've already crashed. Mind you, I haven't taken enough to get high. I've taken enough to make the nausea stop so I could go back to work and took the least amount possible, but that has left me barely able to function. From everything I've understood about the biology of cannabis addiction, its cold turkey or bust. I now at least understand I need to prepare, take time off work, stock up on supplements, anti nausea medication, and be prepared for a rough ride. Tapering once you've crashed either doesnt work or didnt work for me.
Has anyone else been through something similar? How did you get through it? How did you prepare? What was your recovery like?
I have gone from feeling strong and healthy and motivated to super depressed, feeling physically weak (I've been at home mostly in bed for two weeks and I'm someone who has only gotten sick ONCE in 8 years) and honestly wondering how I'm ever going to quit. It's causing problems at home and I have gone back to a small dosage that allows me to function just so I can keep my job and have time to prep and try again.
Any advice/experience welcome and I appreciate anyone that can offer any info. I am desperate. I do not want to go back to smoking every day, especially realizing how addicted and dependent I actually am. Please help!
PS I Had clinical depression in my late teens early twenties post SA. I was on every antidepressant known at the time, plus barbiturates and it was hell getting off of them. I was clean off of everything for close to a decade but started on THC after a major injury once all pain meds stopped working. I should have stayed off of it, clearly, but honestly I was under the illusion cannabis did not produce a physical dependency and thought it was just more fun.