u/EnlightenedTruth

I bought a house 6 years ago. The back wall is banked on a church car park which is huge and sloped bringing all the water to my property with inadequate drainage. They raised the grounds prior to me purchasing this without planning permission. Within months of purchasing significant mould started appearing and electrics were tripping. Survey didn't pick anything up. Life happened, we had to make do until I could save enough. Forward 6 years, I saved enough to renovate and boy have I been in for a treat.

6 layers of cladding and tiling. 4 layers of flooring. By the time I got back to brick. On the back retaining wall, there lied concrete, bitumen, failed tanking and a stud partition that crumbled. The electrics had been tripping for the entire time everything about this has been incredibly dangerous. I've had to knock a wall because it was structurally unsafe.

I've had multiple damp specialists and a surveyor out and they've confirmed the penetrative damp is because of the raised ground.

What started as a 4 week renovation project has now been dragging on for 5 months. Current projections are over double. I've attempted to keep costs by doing most of the work. I hold an incredibly stressful full-time leadership role. We have 3 very small children. No kitchen. They're all sick as we have no doors or way of heating at the moment. We're facing a winter without heating and a kitchen. I'm doing the research, sourcing, building and earning. I'm so overwhelmed, none of this makes sense.

As it stands I'm broken. Working 18hour days and my children are seeing a soulless version of me and I'm trying to hold it together. Every night my body is severely cramping and I'm struggling to sleep. Lost 30lb of health weight. Aged significantly. Having been an elite level athlete for 20yrs and my discipline/will is the only thing seeing me through with the prospect of my children having a cold winter paired with the dreading feeling of failing as a father. I just really need help now. I cannot do this alone internet.

This post is getting long, let me drop the facts:

1. I reached out to the church. A trustee got a builder in and said it's too expensive and is now blanking me. They've not responded to last 3 communications. They've been really unpleasant and rude about it. They have significant footfall and they're just really inconsiderate as a community.
2. I've spoken to 4 homes that are affected, all have problems with the car park grounds but none of them have a living space is retaining earth on the other wall, just me. As a result, no one is motivated to want to do anything. One elderly lady who's cellar regularly floods gave up a few years ago as she's been fighting cancer at 70+yrs old. She claims to have backed out because the trustees are in high places and the council has continuosly ignored her.
3. I emailed the Council (Planning, Building Control, Environmental Health). Planning/building responded same morning.

Building Control replied: No building regs on file for the ground raising. Ground raising is "exempt control" under national building regs unless it overloads foundations above 1.4m. The earth retaining wall is 1.2m but my garden foundation is sloped to compensate for the raising of the ground. My actual garden is at 1.5m.

Planning enforcement: They confirmed they have no records of planning application received. Asked for prior picture before the raising. I don't have these, as it was approx 13yrs ago.

Both have gone cold and not responded for over a week.

I'm on the cusp of burnout. Over budget, not enough money to get legal advice. I also cannot think straight anymore.

Reddit, I REALLY need your help. I just don't know what else to do right now in pursing this situation that is just wrong on all fronts.

I've attached some images. The arrows denote the slope direction of the carpark.

My immediate plan running in tandem:

1. I'm reaching out to everyone I know to borrow money to get some help in to move a bit faster to heat the home this winter.
2. I also have my loft fully open, so I intend to get this closed over the next few months as there's also an unsupported chimney I've uncovered.
3. I intend to tank the property on my side to buy me some time but there's no resolving this without moving the earth penetrating damp. All this money I've spent will be just ruined again.

The anxiety is killing me. I feel powerless.

I started this in August and we're now bearing the sins of the previous elderly couple that have done some of the best bodge jobs to my misery.

My goal was simple:

1. Clear the damp in the kitchen, solve the black mould that's been plaguing us. Change the cabinets as they were crumbling. Makeshift kitchen in living room.
2. Insulate our room in roof, so our 3 young kids don't freeze to death.

I work approx 9-12hr days and I'm flat out exhausted. So this is post work and weekends. My goal was 8 weeks. As I've gotten into thing the followed has transpired:

Kitchen attached to a storage area:

1. As I started the remove the units, it started falling apart. I discovered 2 layers of plastic and wooden cladding. Followed by a further 3 layers of tiles. Floor: same story. 4 layers, last being tiles like concrete. After remove: find a running water pipe that had been leaking. We've been here 5 years, so this explains a lot of problems from the cellar, to the other rooms.
2. Removing the false ceiling: lots of bricks hanging on plasterboard. The frame was screwed directly into a gas pipe, leaked everywhere. I noticed the joist is split and held up by half a brick. At this point the mess and knowing how to proceed was too much. Friend of a friend dives in on a day rate to support but he can only do weekends.
3. We get a structural engineer and he suggests 2 steels. This also presents the opportunity to knock through into the storage area. We go back to brick on everything. Taking our 3m kitchen to 5.6m and our roof height goes from 2.7 to 4.2m pitched.
4. The storage area had a false wall, bitumen and bubble wrap. That is half backed onto grounds above head height. I've had laughable quotes for damp proofing. My thinking on this I use membrane, leave a gap and build a second wall with a drainage behind.

Loft: As I ripped it out, the side wall has crumbling flashing. The chimney is held up by 1 gallows bracket and a rotten thin piece of timber and it has visible cracking.

Whilst we're here I'm now wanting to do things the right way. From relocating the boiler, through to rewiring and piping. Also including a toilet/shower.

I've been averaging 18hour days for the last 6 weeks. Some nights I get insomnia and my day job is killing me mentally. On Saturday I put in 12hrs straight removing bricks (conditioned as an athlete for 18yrs) but my entire body is now constantly cramping and I'm flatout on the verge of burnout from the sheer amount of decision making. The weather is about to turn in 6 weeks. I'm over tired and deflated. I'm trying to source another labourer to support. We'll be heading between 2-3x what we originally budgeted but I'm genuinely struggling to process this. My personality is a planner that's really risk averse but I'm struggling to move faster.

My priority is lay electronics and piping (outsourced) and to get the kitchen to a shell state. Insulate the loft and all finishings can wait.

Included AI imgs at the end of what we're aiming for.

Nothing but a sob story/rant. Please share a story of how you've made it to he other side and kept your mental sanity to tell the tale.

I spoke to the roofer and he apologised and guaranteed this would be just as good. The side seam is already coming apart. Have I been mugged?

Context: Burnt out Dad been sitting on this room in roof for 4 years. I restored most of this house myself and in that time we've had to babies and I've tried my best to just keep the lights on. I had aspirations to get a dormer and a bathroom in here but after 3 quotes, it's not likely at £40-50k. Small bedroom space ain't working out for the kids and I really need this space this year to make it into a bedroom (pic4). I'm happy to descope and do this myself and settle on just insulating this to make it a habitable bedroom.

I decided to remove some units and check the eaves (pic 5). THERES NO DAMN INSULATION! Which explains a lot. Winters have been truly unbearable and the are bills are high. I need to take action and I know I can achieve this at a fraction of the price.

Problem: I've restored most of this house nyself, I actually don't know how to insulate this and what's the optimum approach. I've done so much reading for years and I'm doubting myself, I'm also aware I'm just exhausted. I'd really appreciate a second opinion on making this warm. I'll be outsourcing plumbing to get rads and plastering. I'll be doing everything else myself.

I have 8cm rafters and I didn't want to lose much head height as it's already tight. I don't know the most effective option. One quote suggested that I strip back walls and roof and apply 2' insulation with superquilt overlap.

Plan/Questions:

1. Strip everything back. Room in roof insulation plan (pic6). Leave the floor as is. Top up all eaves with 10cm+20cm horiz (Eaves and rafters are both 8cm.) All the way to dwarf walls. Q: by not insulating the floor and just the eaves, technically this is not worth the effort other than acoustics right?
2. Insulate Dwarf walls. Q: There's a frame previously in place 6cm thick. What's the optimum depth? Q: Do I just board and plaster over the pir or will I need a membrane to avoid damp?
3. Strip and insulate roof. Q: How am I going to insulate the roof whilst minimising heat loss? I have 8cm rafters, I'm guessing I'll need to batten? On the right side of the room, I have 3 beams. Making this air tight is going to be really difficult I imagine?
4. Replace top of staircase only with a wall and attach another rad here. Q: PIR depth?
5. Kids move rooms, we get more space and I finally get to sleep. Then I can wait 4 more yrs to attempt the bathroom.

Thank you if you made it this far, I need your help.