u/EpicToiletPapr

Hi! This JUST happened and I’m finding it both funny and frustrating. I’m an ESFJ and my boyfriend is an ISTP. It is CRAZY how direct communication you guys need????

The situation:
I asked my ISTP mechanic boyfriend a month ago if he could change the oil in my car. He said «yeah I can do that, when do you need it done?» and I said «as soon as you have the chance». It passes 1 week. I ask again, he says yes. Another 2 weeks pass, I ask again, he says yeah while he looks down into his phone.

In the end I had enough of waiting around for no action and I drove my car to do a service on it at a mechanic. Then he complains why I did that, and that «you asked me to change your oil and then you drive it to a workshop??» and I said «yeah I asked you three times if you could change my oil and a month passes by without you doing anything about it so I got it fixed myself». He then says «you never told me when you needed it done by, you only asked if I could do it, and yeah I’m capable of doing that». And I said «I’m not asking you if you are capable of it, I KNOW you’re capable of it as you’re a mechanic» and he says «yeah so I’m waiting for you to tell me when to do it and I’ll get it done?» and I’m saying «I told you to do it as soon as you get the chance, and I asked you three times» and he says «yeah you ask me three times if I’m capable of it» and I say «no I ask three times for you to get going on it». And he looks at me all baffled and tells me I don’t communicate direct enough with him.

In my head, I don’t get how he can’t understand what I’m saying. But for him, I’m being unclear.

It’s so shocking how literal ISTP’s take everything and how insaneeely direct communication is needed. This is really hard, but also, quite funny how his brain works compared to mine.

I guess he wanted me to say «Change the oil in my car tomorrow evening».

Just a little rant :P

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