I got fried fish filets (whiting) at a restaurant, and they were full of tiny slender bones. I was not expecting this at first and, being a goof, accidentally swallowed a few. Is this dangerous? Could it tear anything? Do they digest well enough?
I thought that with constant exposure this obsession would fade but my family licking their fingers still makes me so uncomfortable I want to bend out of shape.
You know that scene from Spiderverse where Peter B Parker eats at the burger place? They do that all the time. Even just when they’re just serving themselves the food, before even sitting down to eat. If a picogram of food residue comes into contact with their hands, they lick. Even before touching shared food like bread — even if they are actively sick with symptoms! This has happened a lot. Sometimes they lick many fingers in rapidfire succession, making a “pop” noise. Sometimes they do it and then go “mm!” like the finger was the best part.
I have a lot of difficulty convincing myself to eat food after they have done this.
Not only is it unsanitary, at least I think so, but it just plain disgusts me. Like if somebody pulled out a cockroach and ate it during dinner right in front of you — that is how I feel when they do this. Even if it was a really clean cockroach, it’d just seem unnatural and gross.
Sometimes I twitch my neck to the side, or I hold in my breath, or try not to look. I try to sit still.
They know I have OCD and used to have an eating disorder strongly related to it but won’t stop. And that’s fine, they shouldn’t have to change because I’m special. I know a lot of people lick their hands and it’s “normal” and a habit for most people.
but aagggggggghhh I really do wish they would stop.
I have some young jalapeno, cherry tomato, and herb plants indoors for a few weeks, and also have some wildflower and herb seeds I want to sow as well. I live in northern Ohio and the next two weeks will be low of 45-50 degrees F (good) but also frequently raining and thunder storming (bad). But I don't want to wait too long. Should I just plant them and see what happens? Should I cover the plants and seeds with buckets or plastic boxes or something?
Thanks!
I received a copy of 《我的阿勒泰》from my Chinese professor as a graduation gift -- so cool! I'm just not quite sure how to approach it. I've studied speaking and writing pretty intensely but have never read a whole book before. I think reading is my weak spot, honestly. And there's just so much new vocab. Do you just accept that you can't understand some things, or do you constantly translate every new word and keep notes as you go, etc.?
A lot of times I go and the lettuce in the bin has a lot of pieces with brown on them, or wilted pieces. I don’t get why they’d leave it out if it was dangerous but it still seems suspicious. Whenever I’ve gotten lettuce on my food here I end up picking half it off for looking off. Is this typical of chipotle, or indicative of improper storage?
I interviewed for a position nine days ago. The PI had said he would decide within the next 48 hours. I don’t know if I ought to email him or not. I had done an unofficial video call interview with him a while back, after which he said they’d get back in a week, and it took multiple weeks (he said they had gotten 400+ applications and had to narrow it down to seven individuals). He had not replied to my follow up email during that time. Idk I guess he didn’t see it.
I am graduating in a few days and wish I knew what my next steps were by now.
Is this normal? Should I email him, or will it hurt my chances? The position was so exciting and he seemed nice. I haven’t been accepted into anything else. But I’m just really confused.
So for example, I love flowers and baking. But I have really bad contamination OCD (that's one big aspect of it at least). So dirt, pesticide residue, and raw eggs scare me very, very much. If I encounter one of these things, I feel as though something is permanently growing inside of me that I cannot undo. And also spending money makes me feel like I am the rottenest scum of the earth for an entire week after the purchase. And in terms of baking, I had an eating disorder so my thinking around eating the occasional dessert is still maladaptive in some ways, though I've recovered.
I have been on the prozac my psychiatrist prescribed me for many months now (helpful) and besides being more talkative I occasionally will get the sudden urge to partake in one of these two things. Like this week I bought flowers and vegetable plants and dirt and pots to make a garden on the patio, which I thought would make me happy. It took me 2 hours to decide on what to get but that's par for the course with me. I got my hands covered in wet organic compost (essentially poop) and dirt (and had to walk by a ton of roundup along the way) at the garden store and then had to touch my phone and keys and drive home before I could wash my hands. I spent $60 in total, or more accurately, made my mother spend most of that $60, because she said to use her card for certain things.
While doing this, I felt this sort a hot, dissociated headrush feeling. Like I lost my inhibition. Like I had had a "manic episode" (I understand that I don't actually have real mania, just a metaphor, I do not mean to offend anybody). It bothered me greatly in the back of my mind, like conceptually (you'll spread E. coli from the dirt to your family members and make them ill, it's disgusting that you spent your parent's money, etc.), but it was like I was lightheaded and couldn't process it fully. Scenarios like this happen a lot now. It feels so uncomfortable even though people would probably tell me it's a good thing. It feels like I went on a wild gambling spree and spent $1000000 and also did drugs.
When this happens, I always end up just feeling stuck in limbo. Half thinking what I did was greedy and unsanitary and dangerous and awful, half thinking it doesn't matter and that it's not worth thinking about. And so I just end up feeling this numb, dissociated, stupid, stagnant, confused feeling for several hours, not sure what kind of upset I am, my chest hurting, not able to get schoolwork done.
Shoot, I'm worried it's because I have no reference point for normalcy.
DAE relate??
I love gardening. But much like cooking my intense contamination OCD always ruins it.
I thought I'd buy some veggie and herb plants from my school's greenhouse fundraiser sale. They were super cheap which was cool because I let myself buy multiple. I got jalapenos, tomatoes, basil, sage, etc. I was super excited. I've been depressed lately and liked the idea of having a project.
But then I thought about how they've also grew castor plants on another shelf. And about all the fish tanks elsewhere in the greenhouse. And how there's a turtle somewhere, yuck. And how the microbio students were using one greenhouse shelf for the soil experiment, and how those bottles of decomposing soil had been inside of the microbio room and carried by a microbio TA, and how bad that microbio lab had terrified me when I took it (I... thought it would be a good exposure for me) even though we only worked with like E. coli and stuff, and how tons of people who I didn't even know had grown these plants, and what if they did something wrong, etc., etc., etc.
I bought them anyways which I thought was a big step for me.
This morning I found a weird leaf with spots on one and a tiny beige mushroom growing in the pot of another. Internet says its harmless but I think I'm going to have to throw them out. "You're going to poison your family members with these tomatoes, it's unnecessary and unfair" and "something will grow inside of you" all that.
Ugh. It's just not worth the months of worry, is it? I don't know. I hate this. I hate not being able to tell if the worry is rational. I've been on prozac for about a year now and it's helped a ton, but right now is a very shaky time for me (I'm graduating from school and a plan for what to do after fell through) and my OCD is starting to blow up again. I'm getting eating disorder type thoughts again. I feel like crying.