u/Esky3338

Hello everyone

My 10month old baby used to sleep through the night (11hours from 8p.m to 7a.m), with an average of 3h of sleep, sometimes more sometimes less (I would say between 2 and 4), and unless rare exceptions she never cried during the night.

We generally follow 3/3.5/4 wake windows. It can change a bit as she goes to daycare.

13 days ago she got sick (I don't have the english word but throat infection with fever), she got treated and better in a few days. But she woke at night and it was super hard to resettle. I used sometimes breastfeeding but she never falls asleep while breastfeeding.

It's been a week since she is cured but still wakes at night and it takes forever to put her back to sleep. From 1 to 2 hours. It starts between 1 and 5. We feel lost as nothing seems to work. Even using our hand to sooth her (which used to work super well), she sometimes calms herself but keeps her eyes open and starts crying again.

It usually starts with her fussing alternatively (a bit of fuss then she takes her thumb and tries to go back to sleep without success), we let her as long as it does not escalate, the. we try our hand to sooth her ... But it takes forever and even with that she sometimes get super mad.

I tried breastfeeding but she never falls asleep on it and most of the time it still takes 40 min at least before she falls asleep again. So not sure it helps but after 1hours ++ we get a bit desperate. We cannot let her figure it alone as it escalate a lot. If we leave after going into her room she cries a lot.

She falls asleep independantly since she is 5 months old, never changed (we had a brief separation anxiety but it solved itself quite fast). For nights and naps. And it's always super super fast (we put her in bed and she immediately closes her eyes, deep sleep within 10 min)

When she had these wake up during the night she sleep later on the morning, around 8 (we should maybe wake her up at 7 as before but we also are super tired and sometimes at 7 she only got back to sleep for 1 hour). She also seems quite sleepy during the day.

We know that slip night are often a rythm issue/undertireness, but it also feels too much of a coïncidence that before the sickness she was fine with 14/15 hours of sleep but now she gets 12/13 and still wakes up. We had days with shorter naps (only 2 hours) and still got those woke up.

Since then we still had 2 full nights but not days with shorter naps.

She does not seems umconfortable during the day

Do you have an idea of what is happening and how should we react ? We fist want to try to wake her up at 7 as before to see if that changes something but she just seems so sleepy ...

Thanks !

(sorry if the grammar is not perfect, English is not my first language)

Hello everyone,

First of all, I am french and live in France, sorry if my english is not perfect and I hope my products questions are still valid in France,

We currently have an owlet camera as babyphone, but the night vision/infrared broke after only 1 year. We would like to replace it and have a combo wifi/radio (one app + one monitor that does not need wifi)

From my searchs, I have found and Avent babyphone that does that, and a Momcozy one

The only issue is the "status light" on the caméra (little light dot to indicate if it's on use)

On the owlet we Can desactivate it, so no light at all, it looks like it's off. That is great because out baby sleeps in a full dark room and when the little light is on, she stares at it for long times ...

I am not sure we Can desactivate that on the avent/momcozy

Do you know if we can?

Or do you have another product suggestion that does it?

We need a vidéo babyphone with wifi/app + an external monitor that works without wifi (that we can forget if it does not exist), with good vidéo qualité/large angle.

Thanks a lot !

Bit of background. She's 9 months (born at 37 weeks so more like 8 adjusted), has fallen asleep on her own since 3-4 months, sleeping through since around 5 months. We moved her from a bedside bassinet into a crib in her own room on June 28 because she started climbing out of the bassinet. First couple nights were fine and then bedtime kind of fell apart for a week, one night was 90 minutes of crying. The thing is naps in that same crib were always fine, and at daycare too, and once she finally fell asleep she slept through. So it really seemed to be a bedtime thing specifically, not the crib itself.

On wake windows and sleep needs, since I know that's usually the first question here. I've tracked it pretty closely and I don't think that's what's going on. Her total is around 14.5h a day, and the bad bedtimes happened at all sorts of times, we had meltdowns at 6:45, at 7:00, around 7:45 and even at 8:18. So it wasn't really about her being over or undertired at a specific hour. We do try to keep wake windows fairly consistent but honestly with how much her daytime sleep varies (daycare naps are all over the place) it's hard to be super precise.

What we eventually noticed is that the trigger is us leaving, especially considering that we have an extremely noisy wood floor, we thing that the noise trigger that. If either of us tries to leave while she's awake or in that light early sleep, she's instantly up and standing at the rails crying and it escalates. Which is pretty on-brand for separation anxiety at this age I guess. And our floor is old and creaks like crazy everywhere, so trying to sneak out during light sleep just never worked, every failed attempt basically reset the whole thing. In her previous room, the floor was not noisy and we could leave easily. I guess when she starts to fall asleep even without us touching, the noise is disturbing her. We use a white noise machine that covers partially the noise, but the creaks are reaaaally loud.

So we stopped trying to leave. Now one of us just stays in the room from the moment she goes down, hand on her only if she's really crying, then we take the hand away once she's calm but we stay. Only one exit, once she's actually in deep sleep. If she's still worked up at 40 min we do a quick reset out of the room and come back (but that only happens when we try to leave while she is awake). We're not doing full extinction, gentle but structured is more our thing.

Last night went well. Down at 7:05, tiny bit of hand, asleep in about 2 minutes, my partner waited 20 min (next to her bed, but it's pitch black, she cannot see him) and then left, and it didn't wake her, creaky floor and all. Slept through. This wasn't some miracle night, it was basically what her good nights used to look like before the move (though she usually woke a bit after 7 and today it was 6:30). And worth noting she hadn't napped well that day, only 40 min in the afternoon, so I half expected a rough evening and it was fine. This morning she woke calm, pulled up on the rails and lay herself back down 5 or 6 times without calling out, thumb in, until around 6:55.

One thing I'm unsure about. The usual advice is to move the chair further away every few nights, but our room is pitch black, so she can't actually see where my partner is sitting, and I'm not even sure she knows he's still there once he stops touching her. Plus moving further would mean making noise to get back to her over that floor. So the "move the chair back" version doesn't really seem to fit us. I'm thinking the fade for us is less about distance and more about slowly doing less with the hand, less touching over time, then just being present, then out. Curious if that makes sense to people.

Questions for anyone who's done something like this:

1. How many nights did you stay fully in the room before you started backing off, and did backing off too early bite you?
2. For the crib plus own room plus separation anxiety combo specifically, how long until bedtime felt normal again?
3. If distance fading didn't work for you either (dark room, noisy floor, whatever), what did the fade actually look like?

And last question, with daycare and her day sleep that vary a lot, how can you have a bit more structured day with less variability? We use wake windows but that means that sometimes she wakes up from her last nap at 2:30 p.m and sometimes at 5p.m

Thanks a lot :)

TL;DR: Independent sleeper since 3-4mo hit a wall at bedtime only after moving to a crib in her own room, right at peak separation anxiety. Naps in the same crib = fine. Every exit attempt while she's awake or in light sleep triggers a meltdown, and our old wood floor creaks everywhere. Starting a camping-out / gradual-retreat plan, looking for experience and timing checks.

Background

• 9mo (born 37w, ~8mo adjusted), thumb-sucker, never sleep trained, self-settled since 3-4mo (down awake, takes her thumb, babbles, out).
• STTN since ~5mo, no night feeds, 10.5-11h nights.
• Schedule: wakes 6:45-7:30am / nap 1 ~10am (1.5-2h) / nap 2 ~2-3pm (30-45 min at daycare, can run longer at home — up to 2h) / bedtime 7:30-8:15pm depending on last nap. Last WW ~3h45-4h. Averages ~14.5h total sleep per day (range 13-16.5h).
• Pitch black, white noise, same routine every night, always down awake.

What changed

Bedside bassinet until late June -> started climbing out -> June 28: crib in her own room. First 2-3 nights totally fine. Then:

• Jul 1: 45 min of tears at a 7:00pm bedtime, after a disaster one-nap day.
• Jul 4: ~50 min of screaming at an 8:18pm bedtime (after an unusual late nap ending 5:20pm, 2:30+2hours of naps that day). Asleep ~9:10pm, slept through.
• Jul 5: 15-20 min of crying, needed a hand on her.
• Jul 6: 1.5h meltdown at a 6:45pm attempt (sleep debt + short naps + we'd stacked three changes at once). After a 10-min reset out of the room, asleep in 5 minutes at 8:20pm. Slept through after.

Important context: we NEVER had bedtime issues before the move to her own room, even on disaster-nap days. At daycare she naps in a crib and falls asleep independently there too, and she'd already slept in rooms other than ours many times. The only exceptions were rare occasions like illness.

Patterns we've found (so far)

• Naps are fine. 4/4 weekend naps solo in that exact crib, daycare crib naps fine → looks evening-specific. (Caveat: only one weekend in this crib so far — small sample.)
• The clock doesn't explain it. Rough bedtimes have happened at 7:00pm, ~7:45pm and 8:18pm alike. What the hour does change is how long she lies awake before sleep is physiologically possible (down too early = circadian gate still closed; down too soon after a late nap = not enough pressure) and that awake-in-the-crib window is exactly when the real trigger fires: us leaving. One striking constant: on the two nights we can measure cleanly, she fell asleep 3h44 and 3h48 after her last nap ended, regardless of when we put her down. So we keep bedtime ≥7:15pm and target a ~3h45-4h last WW purely to shorten the exposure window.
• The trigger is the exit. Leaving while she's awake or in light sleep = instant escalation (stands at the rails, cries). Classic 8-9mo separation anxiety. The creaky floor can't be fixed, so sneaking out during light sleep always fails — each failed exit reset the clock 10-15 min on the bad night.

Confounds we're tracking: teething, a nursing regression (tires at the breast, swallows air — post tongue-tie-release history; evening top-up jumped to ~5.5oz), and a gross-motor explosion (crawling, pulling to stand).

The plan (starting tonight)

• Bedtime never before 7:15pm; target last WW of 3h45-4h15; cap naps that run past ~5pm.
• Phase 1 (2-3 nights): parent in a chair by the crib from the moment she's down. Zero exit attempts. Hand only for real crying, removed once calm — but we stay. One exit only after 15-20 min of confirmed deep sleep (limp-arm test).
• Hard limits set in advance: still wired or crying hard at 40 min → 10-min reset, then back with presence. At 60 min → stay until fully asleep, no guilt.
• Phase 2 after 2 calm nights (<30-40 min): fade — chair further, then by the door, then out with quick returns.
• Not open to full extinction; gentle-but-structured is our lane.

Questions

1. Anyone had the crib/own-room transition collide with peak separation anxiety? How long before fading worked?
2. Does the fading pace look right?
3. Any hacks for exiting over an unfixable creaky floor?
4. Anything obvious we're missing?

Thanks!

Bonjour à tous !

Il y a 5 ans, nous avons acheté une Dacia Sandero Stepway de Décembre 2019, en occasion (mais très peu de km), une 90 tce, pour 12 000€
Nous l'avons également passé sur un boitier flexfuel il y a 4 ans.
Elle marche super bien, nous avons eu 0 réparation depuis le début, rien à redire on en est super content,

Mais on a eu un bébé, et nous avons également une chienne qui va normalement dans le coffre (sans le petit truc pour isoler le coffre de l'habitacle au dessus du coffre, j'ai perdu le nom, du coup), et la place est limitée. De plus je la trouve très inconfortable pour les trajets de plus d'une heure en terme d'assise. Sur le siege passager avant, on est pas mal avancé car a l'arrière il y a la base siofix pour le siege auto et ce n'est pas très confort non plus.

On habite à la campagne donc on fait surtout des petits trajets du quotidien sur des départementales. On part parfois en weekend à 2/3h de chez nous, et je dirais que 2/3 fois dans l'année on fait des trajets (allez retour) de 5 à 8h. Là en 5 ans on a fait 140 000km.
A coté on n'a pas d'autre voiture sauf un petit fourgon utilitaire que mon compagnon utilise pour son boulot.
On aura une prise pour recharger éventuellement une electrique, mais ce n'est pas une obligation. Si non hybride, on aimerait dans l'idéal pouvoir refaire poser un boitier éthanol.

Bref, nous cherchons donc une voiture, avec plus de coffre (et vraiment plus de coffre "utile", par ce qu'on a vu que parfois dans le volume total il y a les compartiments sur le coté dans le coffre ce qui est pratique est peu utilisable quand il faut caser sacs, poussette et chien), et plus confortable, dans un budget autour des 30 000€, possible un peu plus si vraiment coup de coeur (pas au dessus de 35/36K par contre)
Dans l'idéal une qui ne serait pas troooop massive mais on a conscience qu'on ne peut pas tout avoir.

Notre priorité serait aussi d'éviter les motorisations à problème car on a aucun soucis sur notre voiture actuelle et on aimerait que ça reste le cas sur la prochaine, mais on n'y connait absolument rien.
Un peu plus de chevaux que notre actuelle mais pas forcément besoin de beaucoup plus (110/120 suffirait)
Sachant qu'on aimerait bien un petit deuxième d'ici 1 an donc place encore plus limitée ....

Du gros bonus mais mon père a une Symbioz et on trouve l'ordinateur de bord bien relou, on aime bien ce qui est simple surtout pour ce qui est reglage clim/chauffage. Après j'imagine qu'on s'habitue à tout ! On est aussi habitué aux boites manuelles mais c'est ok pour passer en automatique.

Pour le moment on a repéré: Kia Sportage HEV, Renault Austral E-Tech Hybrid 200, Toyota RAV4 Hybrid (edit: en fait non trop massif), Toyota Corolla Touring Sports Hybrid 1.8 ou 2.0, Volkswagen Golf Variant 1.5 TSI evo1, Skoda Octavia Combi 1.5 TSI (2019–2021), et une renault Espace (mais on a vu des critiques sur sa fiabilité?)

Qu'est ce que vous nous conseillez ? Je vois qu'il y a un post similaire mais pas tout à fait identifique, je piste un peu les réponses

Merci :)