so this time i had enough and i told her bf that his gf calls me whenever u both have arguments and shi then after the text i got call from my ex this time she was angry and was saying ki why did u text him like bro i literally texted u not to call me but u did anyways ur not respecting my boundaries thats why i texted ur bf 🤷🏻♂️ atleast ur bf should know abt this ryt?
i am 19 and unemployed so i wanna do part time as a helper in malls uk but the thing is i have zero work experience and qualifications(i am doing class 12 nios) soo idk is it hard to get the helper ka job in malls? such as zudio and all
so i am siliguri westbengal um so i am bi and i was into guys and girls since i was in class 6 soo ukk maine bhi grindr download kiya tha and guess wat under 5 mins i got flashed my uncles(kitna kala tha yawr) so yep i keep on trying to find a gay bf through dating apps but yk they just want sex aiya idk
soooo aaj sunday ha its already 3 pm soo anyone wants to meet?!? jyotinagar side?!? pls no stoners🙏🏻 mujhe daar lagta ha cigarette wale ajao yawr
so today was a normal day for me i was getting ready for awara giri like yk bike leke ghumna alone(its fun ngl i can go anywhere kaal toh siliguri college bhi gaya tha if ur thinking why? aise hi masti)until i got a call from a unknown number guess who it was guess guess ……… IT WAS MY EX LMAOOOOOOO the first thing she asked was umm how r u in which i replied till now tah i was good(thora nonchalant bane ki kosis) so after that she was like r u free can u meet me i was like um i dont think so and after that she said oh nvm and cut the call then again when i was drinking tea in chai tapri she calls me and she was crying that her bf doesn’t care abt her and blah blah so i was like oh i see but uk i felt bad and yaya i asked her wats wrong but then she said where r u i said ki i am out then she said can u call me when u reach home i said oh sure and well i didn’t called her cause why should i its not my job to fix her love life so yep thats it aiya see guys ex hamesha wapas ate ha.
the thing which hurts me more is tat no body took my side(and if someones wonder why my hand was covered with cuts ya i tried suicide attempt)
why 2026 is worst than 2025 like bro its getting worst and worst 😭😭 and why tf i am so lonely
so when i was in class 7(i am in college rn) i got to know abt myself that i am bisexual so ya at first i didn’t tell anyone abt this cause uk people in india ryt? they r homophobic so ya till this day nobody knows i am bisexual likw i have dated girls but they dont know it either so ya but now its enough I AM GONNA DATE A GUY NOW CAUSE IDK ITS 2026
I’m tired.
Not because life is impossible, but because it feels like every time I finally start standing up again, something else knocks me back down.
This past year has been one of the hardest of my life. I lost someone I genuinely loved. What’s worse is knowing that I wasn’t perfect either. I was the one who walked away first. I ghosted her when she kept reaching out, believing she’d eventually move on and find someone better. By the time I realized what I had lost, it was too late. That’s a regret I carry every day.
She came back more than once. She called, she texted, she waited. And when I finally wanted us again, she couldn’t come back. Maybe that’s karma. Maybe that’s just life. Either way, it hurts.
Some days I convince myself I’ve moved on. I block her, delete her contact, tell myself I’m choosing peace. Then a quiet night comes, a song starts playing, or I remember one conversation, and suddenly it feels like I’m back at day one.
Loneliness has become louder than silence. I look around and it feels like everyone has someone to call, someone to meet, someone who asks them, “How are you?” I don’t. I spend so many evenings wishing someone would simply ask me to hang out.
At home, things aren’t easy either. I don’t always feel understood. Sometimes it feels like I’m carrying expectations I don’t know how to meet while also trying to carry emotions I don’t know how to put down.
I’m trying to build myself again. I started going to the gym because I want to become stronger—not just physically, but mentally too. I pick up my guitar even when my fingers hurt because music says the things I can’t. I tell myself I’ll become the best version of me, not because I want revenge, but because I don’t want this pain to define the rest of my life.
There are nights when I question everything. I wonder if I deserve this because of the choices I made. I wonder if the universe is simply teaching me what it felt like to be on the other side. Maybe it is. But knowing that doesn’t make the ache any smaller.
Still, despite everything, I haven’t stopped hoping.
I still believe that one day I’ll wake up and she won’t be the first thought in my mind. I’ll have friends who genuinely want me around. I’ll finish what I started, build a life I’m proud of, and look back at this version of myself with compassion instead of sadness.
Right now, though, I’m just a nineteen-year-old trying to figure life out while carrying a heart that’s heavier than it should be.
I’m not asking life to be perfect anymore.
I’m just asking for one season where things finally go right.