u/Evaantheterrible

I’m 29 and I’ve spent roughly the last 10 years procrastinating, avoiding responsibility, isolating myself and constantly telling myself that I’ll change “from tomorrow.” I’ve had very little consistency with anything. I’ve quit jobs, abandoned plans, spent huge amounts of time in my room, and developed terrible habits around scrolling, porn, masturbation and avoiding difficult or uncomfortable things. My physical health has also suffered, and I have chronic health problems that make me even more aware of how badly I’ve neglected myself. I know I’m responsible for a lot of this, and I’m tired of understanding my problems without actually changing them.

Career-wise, I’ve never really found anything I felt I belonged to. I’ve worked in call centres and other jobs, but I hated the idea of spending the next 5–10 years in a corporate environment. People keep telling me that at my age I should stop thinking so much and learn technical skills, coding, digital marketing, etc., and get a job. I may try digital marketing because I have a relative who works in the field and has offered me part-time work while teaching me things like Google Ads and practical marketing skills. I’m not against working or earning money, and I know I need financial independence. I just don’t see myself building my entire life around a corporate career.

The thing I actually care about is literature. I genuinely want to study English literature properly because I never really got the chance to experience a normal education. I completed my BA English Honours through IGNOU, but I never had the regular college experience. For years, whenever I passed through a university area near me, I would look at the students, classrooms, professors and whole atmosphere and feel like I had missed a huge part of my life. I keep thinking that if I had been given the choice at 18–20, I would have gone to a regular college and studied literature. Now I’m considering preparing for CUET-PG and doing a regular MA in English Literature at 29–30. Part of me wants the academic environment, the discipline, the chance to meet people and make friends, and the chance to actually become a better reader, writer and speaker. I also genuinely love novels, especially classic, gothic and darker literature.

I also want to start a YouTube channel around that interest. I don’t necessarily want to make boring “educational” videos. I want to talk about novels, gothic/classic literature, stories, folklore, culture and eventually other things I’m interested in, in a conversational and entertaining way. I want to build something of my own rather than spend my entire life working for someone else. My relative has said I can work part-time while studying, so in theory I could do the MA, earn some money, and slowly build the channel alongside it.

But here’s where I’m stuck: I have a terrible history of not committing to anything. I’ve spent ten years thinking, planning and fantasizing about changing my life, but when the actual work becomes boring or difficult, I run away. So I’m scared that I’ll prepare for CUET, get into a college, and then repeat the same behaviour there. I’m also scared that maybe the MA is just another respectable way of postponing getting a job and taking responsibility.

Should I commit to the MA and use it as a chance to rebuild myself while working part-time and building something of my own, or am I simply finding another way to avoid entering the real world? And more importantly, how do I actually break a 10-year pattern of procrastination instead of just making another plan about breaking it?

I’m 29, from Delhi/NCR, and considering preparing for CUET-PG and doing a regular MA in English Literature. I know an MA in English doesn’t have a strong direct job market, and I don’t want to become a school teacher. I’m financially unstable, have very little work experience, no savings, and I’m still dependent on my mother. I also have chronic health issues(autoimmune disorders) that limit the kind of work and commuting I can realistically do. I originally considered government exams for stability, but after looking into the uncertainty, timelines and jobs available to me, I started exploring digital marketing instead. A family friend who works in marketing has offered to teach me practical skills and let me work with him while earning.

The reason I keep coming back to the MA is different. My qualifications is like I have completed my BA English Honours through IGNOU in 2024, after a very unusual education path involving a long gap between school years and completing Class 12 through NIOS. I’ve spent roughly the last 10 years extremely isolated in my room because of anxiety, insecurity and avoidance. I never had a normal college experience, and I deeply regret that. For years, whenever I went through DU North Campus, I used to look at the students and colleges and feel that I had missed an important part of life. I want to experience a real university environment, meet professors and peers, build a social life, study literature seriously, and become a better reader, writer and speaker. I also want to create content around stories, novels, culture, commentary about my health issues and how I have managed them in the long run. I may consider a PhD abroad someday, but I’m not sure I actually want academia.

My concern is that I may be using the MA as a respectable way to postpone building a career. At the same time, if I never try regular college, I’m worried I’ll regret it later. My idea is to do the MA, work part-time with the family friend, and create content alongside it, but I don’t know whether that’s realistic or just me trying to do too many things at once. At 29, given this background, would you do the MA, focus on employment/skills first, or work for a couple of years and reconsider the MA later? Any kind of genuine suggestions can be really helpful.

I am 29 years old, and I have no aim in life. I am someone who has literally no ambition. When I look at my friends, they want to travel, get rich, and make money. I do not have any such ambition in life.

Yes, I want to earn money, but if I can earn enough to sustain myself, I do not think I want more than that. I definitely do not want to get married, and I am completely sure about that.

I would like to have good people around me. I would like to make good friends, because I have been depressed for the last many years, and I have been struggling with health issues like rheumatoid arthritis and autoimmune issues for so many years that I became extremely depressed. I stayed locked inside my room for a long time, and I have not met new people or made new connections in life. So, I would like to go out, make connections, and learn new things.

At one point, I was so depressed because of my health issues that I wanted to kill myself. I would have honestly killed myself if my mother had not been there to help me. I had a childhood like many other people who come from abusive homes. My father was a drunk and a drug addict. You can understand the situation in my house.

I wish I could help my mother financially. From a financial point of view, we are just doing okay. We are not doing great, but we are doing okay because my brother is working, my relatives help us financially, and my brother also contributes.

Personally, my mother realized that I am very depressed. She says that I should study if I want to study, but to be honest, for the past few years, I have had no ambition to study either. I like literature, so I was planning to do my master’s in English. I was also planning to create some content. I want to educate people about the health issues I have dealt with and about how I have managed them. I want to create content around that.

Because I am interested in literature, I read books, and to be honest, reading books is the only thing that has given me some sanity in life, whether fiction or non-fiction. So I am planning to do my master’s in English literature. To be honest, I do not, like I said, have the ambition of doing a master’s or an MBA just to get a job. When I look at my friends, they want to do an MBA because they have been working for a few years, so they are planning to do that or go abroad. I have no such ambition.

I just want to create content and learn about literature. And since I have been isolated for so many years, I would like to be in a study environment. That is why I am thinking that maybe I should do my master’s in English literature.

I am planning, for the first time in my life, to prepare for a competitive exam. I am planning to prepare for CUET PG. I just want to get out of my house, be around like-minded people, and be around educated people.

And yes, like I said, I do not want to work in corporate. Right now, I am planning to take a part-time job offered by a friend. It is work from home, so I will be doing that.

Other than that, this is my mental state, and I am sharing it with you all. Any kind of suggestions would be really appreciated.

I am 29 years old, and I have no aim in life. I am someone who has literally no ambition. When I look at my friends, they want to travel, get rich, and make money. I do not have any such ambition in life.

Yes, I want to earn money, but if I can earn enough to sustain myself, I do not think I want more than that. I definitely do not want to get married, and I am completely sure about that.

I would like to have good people around me. I would like to make good friends, because I have been depressed for the last many years, and I have been struggling with health issues like rheumatoid arthritis and autoimmune issues for so many years that I became extremely depressed. I stayed locked inside my room for a long time, and I have not met new people or made new connections in life. So, I would like to go out, make connections, and learn new things.

At one point, I was so depressed because of my health issues that I wanted to kill myself. I would have honestly killed myself if my mother had not been there to help me. I had a childhood like many other people who come from abusive homes. My father was a drunk and a drug addict. You can understand the situation in my house.

I wish I could help my mother financially. From a financial point of view, we are just doing okay. We are not doing great, but we are doing okay because my brother is working, my relatives help us financially, and my brother also contributes.

Personally, my mother realized that I am very depressed. She says that I should study if I want to study, but to be honest, for the past few years, I have had no ambition to study either. I like literature, so I was planning to do my master’s in English. I was also planning to create some content. I want to educate people about the health issues I have dealt with and about how I have managed them. I want to create content around that.

Because I am interested in literature, I read books, and to be honest, reading books is the only thing that has given me some sanity in life, whether fiction or non-fiction. So I am planning to do my master’s in English literature. To be honest, I do not, like I said, have the ambition of doing a master’s or an MBA just to get a job. When I look at my friends, they want to do an MBA because they have been working for a few years, so they are planning to do that or go abroad. I have no such ambition.

I just want to create content and learn about literature. And since I have been isolated for so many years, I would like to be in a study environment. That is why I am thinking that maybe I should do my master’s in English literature.

I am planning, for the first time in my life, to prepare for a competitive exam. I am planning to prepare for CUET PG. I just want to get out of my house, be around like-minded people, and be around educated people.

And yes, like I said, I do not want to work in corporate. Right now, I am planning to take a part-time job offered by a friend. It is work from home, so I will be doing that.

Other than that, this is my mental state, and I am sharing it with you all. Any kind of suggestions would be really appreciated.

I am 29 years old, and I have no path or aim in life. I am someone who has literally no ambition. When I look at my friends, they want to travel, get rich, and make money. I do not have any such ambition in life.

Yes, I want to earn money, but if I can earn enough to sustain myself, I do not think I want more than that. I definitely do not want to get married, and I am completely sure about that.

I would like to have good people around me. I would like to make good friends, because I have been depressed for the last many years, and I have been struggling with health issues like rheumatoid arthritis and autoimmune issues for so many years that I became extremely depressed. I stayed locked inside my room for a long time, and I have not met new people or made new connections in life. So, I would like to go out, make connections, and learn new things.

At one point, I was so depressed because of my health issues that I wanted to kill myself. I would have honestly killed myself if my mother had not been there to help me. I had a childhood like many other people who come from abusive homes. My father was a drunk and a drug addict. You can understand the situation in my house.

I wish I could help my mother financially. From a financial point of view, we are just doing okay. We are not doing great, but we are doing okay because my brother is working, my relatives help us financially, and my brother also contributes.

Personally, my mother realized that I am very depressed. She says that I should study if I want to study, but to be honest, for the past few years, I have had no ambition to study either. I like literature, so I was planning to do my master’s in English. I was also planning to create some content. I want to educate people about the health issues I have dealt with and about how I have managed them. I want to create content around that.

Because I am interested in literature, I read books, and to be honest, reading books is the only thing that has given me some sanity in life, whether fiction or non-fiction. So I am planning to do my master’s in English literature. To be honest, I do not, like I said, have the ambition of doing a master’s or an MBA just to get a job. When I look at my friends, they want to do an MBA because they have been working for a few years, so they are planning to do that or go abroad. I have no such ambition.

I just want to create content and learn about literature. And since I have been isolated for so many years, I would like to be in a study environment. That is why I am thinking that maybe I should do my master’s in English literature.

I am planning, for the first time in my life, to prepare for a competitive exam. I am planning to prepare for CUET PG. I just want to get out of my house, be around like-minded people, and be around educated people.

And yes, like I said, I do not want to work in corporate. Right now, I am planning to take a part-time job offered by a friend. It is work from home, so I will be doing that.

Other than that, this is my mental state, and I am sharing it with you all. Any kind of suggestions would be really appreciated for finding my path.

​

Hi everyone, I’m preparing for CUET PG English and I’m a bit confused about which batch to join.

A teacher I’ve been looking at, Vineet Pandey, is saying that his UGC NET English batch would also cover CUET PG because the syllabus overlaps a lot. His team is saying that if I take the NET batch, it will automatically help me for CUET PG too. But I don’t want to do PhD in India, so I’m not sure if a full NET batch is overkill for my goal.

I also saw CUET PG-specific batches from Physics Wallah / Adda / similar platforms at a much lower price, and those look more directly aligned with my exam. I know some people clear CUET PG on self-study, but I need a structured class because my basics are weak and I’ve had a long gap in study.

So my question is: for CUET PG English, is a UGC NET batch worth it, or is a CUET PG-specific batch the smarter choice? Any honest suggestions would help a lot.

Hi everyone, I’m preparing for CUET PG English and I’m a bit confused about which batch to join.

A prominent teacher I’ve been looking at, Vineet Pandey(regarded as best teacher for literature), is saying that his UGC NET English batch would also cover CUET PG because the syllabus overlaps a lot. His team is saying that if I take the NET batch, it will automatically help me for CUET PG too. But I don’t want to do PhD in India, so I’m not sure if a full NET batch is overkill for my goal.

I also saw CUET PG-specific batches from Physics Wallah / Adda / similar platforms at a much lower price, and those look more directly aligned with my exam. I know some people clear CUET PG on self-study, but I need a structured class because my basics are weak and I’ve had a long gap in study.

So my question is: for CUET PG English, is a UGC NET batch worth it, or is a CUET PG-specific batch the smarter choice? Any honest suggestions would help a lot.

Hi everyone, I’m preparing for CUET PG English and wanted to ask something basic. Can this exam be cleared through self-study alone, or is online coaching actually helpful for guidance?

If coaching is worth it, please recommend any good online teachers or platforms for CUET PG English prep. Looking for something beginner-friendly and practical.

Thanks in advance.

Hi everyone, I’m preparing for CUET PG English and wanted to ask something basic. Can this exam be cleared through self-study alone, or is online coaching actually helpful for guidance?

If coaching is worth it, please recommend any good online teachers or platforms for CUET PG English prep. Looking for something beginner-friendly and practical.

Thanks in advance.

Hey everyone,

​

I’m writing this because I’m at a major crossroads in my life and I desperately need some perspective from people who understand the academic landscape in Delhi, particularly Delhi University (DU) and JNU.

​

To be completely transparent: **I am turning 29 this July.** For the last 8 to 10 years of my life, I have been severely isolated. I’ve struggled with deep anxiety, physical health issues, and spent years basically shut in my room, rotting in bed, and escaping reality. My academic and professional profile is incredibly inconsistent—I have massive gaps, and my educational journey has been entirely non-traditional and correspondence-based. I also have very minimal, sporadic part-time work experience (mostly a few months here and there in call centers).

​

Lately, I’ve been trying to pull myself out of this dark hole. I want to build a real life, and I want to educate myself. I love literature, stories, and studying the human condition.

​

My current rough plan is to spend the next year working a part-time remote gig in digital marketing (earning a basic ₹15,000/month to survive) while preparing for the **CUET PG (MA English)** exam. I want to give it exactly one serious shot to get into a regular, on-campus Master's program at DU or JNU.

​

**My ultimate long-term goal:** I want to leave Delhi. I don't feel any peace here, and I want to permanently relocate abroad (Europe, US, or Australia/NZ). Because I cannot afford to pay lakhs of rupees for tuition or take on massive student loans, my only viable exit route is to target a **fully-funded PhD program abroad** that covers tuition and provides a living stipend. I want to use the 2 years of a regular MA to completely dedicate myself to academic writing, research, and building a strong academic profile to apply for these doctoral programs.

​

But as the reality of this path is dawning on me, I am facing a lot of anxiety and doubts. I want to ask this community a few raw, honest questions:

​

1. **Is a regular, full-time MA English at DU/JNU feasible at age 30?** I will be working part-time on the side to support myself. Is the academic workload (tutorials, readings, sessional tests) at regular DU/JNU departments too brutal to manage alongside a part-time remote job? Are there others who have balanced both?

2. **Does a distance-learning MA completely kill my PhD prospects?** If the regular MA is too physically or financially draining, my relative suggested doing a distance MA (like DU SOL or IGNOU) instead. But from my research, distance degrees offer zero research mentoring, no academic networking, and no access to professors who can write strong Letters of Recommendation (LORs). If my goal is a funded PhD abroad, is a distance MA a complete dead end?

​

Should I take this risk and give the CUET PG regular MA route one solid shot so I don't live the rest of my life in regret? Or should I let go of this academic dream, accept my non-traditional baseline, and focus strictly on working my remote marketing job?

​

I would love to hear from current MA English students, PhD scholars, or anyone who started their academic journey late. Please give it to me straight.

Hey everyone,

​

I’m writing this because I’m at a major crossroads in my life and I desperately need some perspective from people who understand the academic landscape in Delhi, particularly Delhi University (DU) and JNU.

​

To be completely transparent: **I am turning 29 this July.** For the last 8 to 10 years of my life, I have been severely isolated. I’ve struggled with deep anxiety, physical health issues, and spent years basically shut in my room, rotting in bed, and escaping reality. My_qualifications and professional profile is incredibly inconsistent—I have massive gaps, and my educational journey has been entirely non-traditional and correspondence-based. I also have very minimal, sporadic part-time work experience (mostly a few months here and there in call centers).

​

Lately, I’ve been trying to pull myself out of this dark hole. I want to build a real life, and I want to educate myself. I love literature, stories, and studying the human condition.

​

My current rough plan is to spend the next year working a part-time remote gig in digital marketing (earning a basic ₹15,000/month to survive) while preparing for the **CUET PG (MA English)** exam. I want to give it exactly one serious shot to get into a regular, on-campus Master's program at DU or JNU.

​

**My ultimate long-term goal:** I want to leave Delhi. I don't feel any peace here, and I want to permanently relocate abroad (Europe, US, or Australia/NZ). Because I cannot afford to pay lakhs of rupees for tuition or take on massive student loans, my only viable exit route is to target a **fully-funded PhD program abroad** that covers tuition and provides a living stipend. I want to use the 2 years of a regular MA to completely dedicate myself to academic writing, research, and building a strong academic profile to apply for these doctoral programs.

​

But as the reality of this path is dawning on me, I am facing a lot of anxiety and doubts. I want to ask this community a few raw, honest questions:

​

1. **Is a regular, full-time MA English at DU/JNU feasible at age 30?** I will be working part-time on the side to support myself. Is the academic workload (tutorials, readings, sessional tests) at regular DU/JNU departments too brutal to manage alongside a part-time remote job? Are there others who have balanced both?

2. **Does a distance-learning MA completely kill my PhD prospects?** If the regular MA is too physically or financially draining, my relative suggested doing a distance MA (like DU SOL or IGNOU) instead. But from my research, distance degrees offer zero research mentoring, no academic networking, and no access to professors who can write strong Letters of Recommendation (LORs). If my goal is a funded PhD abroad, is a distance MA a complete dead end?

​

Should I take this risk and give the CUET PG regular MA route one solid shot so I don't live the rest of my life in regret? Or should I let go of this academic dream, accept my non-traditional baseline, and focus strictly on working my remote marketing job?

​

I would love to hear from current MA English students, PhD scholars, or anyone who started their academic journey late. Please give it to me straight.

How often can a person do water fast for 72-100 hours? Doing it once or twice a month is good enough?