u/Exciting-Tea-6423

I just broke up with my partner while he’s overseas. Looking back, I probably should have waited until he got home, but after feeling consistently neglected and disrespected throughout the relationship, I finally reached my limit.
Breaking up over text was petty and probably the meanest thing I did. I know I could have handled that part better, but in the moment, I was just done.
I don’t really know what else to say. Just needed to get it off my chest.

Did anyone applied to this announcement and heard anything? It was a short opening.

Does anyone happen to know any courts to play badminton?

TLDR

I honestly just need to vent because I feel like I’ve been holding all of this in and I’m exhausted.

I love my bf. I really do. And that's what makes this so hard.

He's a very rational, structured person. He's not naturally emotional or expressive, and he's even told me before that he's not at the same emotional level as me. He says he may not talk about feelings much but he'll listen.

I've tried to accept that.

But lately I'm starting to feel like I'm doing all the emotional work in this relationship.

He's in the Navy and is likely moving in about a year. He's said he'd like me to come with him if we're still together, which obviously makes me think about the future and marriage. I want marriage and children. I don't want to spend another year emotionally investing in someone only to discover we're fundamentally incompatible.

I'm the one who asks the deeper questions. I'm the one trying to get to know him on a deeper level. I'm usually the one initiating communication, quality time, physical affection and intimacy. I want to know what's going on inside his head. I want to share random things throughout the day. I want to feel like he thinks about me when I'm not around.

Our texting has also started feeling incredibly surface level. If I don't initiate I feel like I'd either hear nothing or get a basic “how's your day?” And I'm tired of constantly trying to turn those little conversations into something deeper.

I also feel sexually undesired. We have sex maybe 2–3 times a month. He does initiate sometimes usually in the morning or when he's been drinking, but if I initiate, sometimes he's tired or tells me he already masturbated. I'm not judging him for masturbating but when we're already having sex so infrequently it hurts to feel like I'm not being chosen sexually either.

He also used to touch me more. Even little things like putting his arm around my waist in public. He doesn't really do that anymore. I initiate most physical affection now.

And I know he's told me he's attracted to me. I know he says he wants to be with me. I believe that he cares about me.

But I don't feel wanted.

And that's the part that's killing me.

A few days ago I told him again that I feel like we aren't emotionally connected. The next morning I was sick and sleeping on his couch. He got up and just went about his normal morning routine without really acknowledging me. I ended up getting upset and telling him that sometimes he feels like a robot and that I don't feel like he cares.

He rubbed my feet and kissed me goodbye.

And I appreciated that. But part of me was still thinking, “I don't want to have to tell you that I'm hurting before you want to take care of me.”

I don't want to keep teaching someone how to care for me.

I want him to WANT to.

That's the part I can't seem to get past.

I've even tried breaking up with him over this because I'm scared I'm wasting my time. He doesn't want to break up and continues telling me he wants to be with me.

But I'm starting to wonder if wanting to keep me and wanting to emotionally connect with me are two different things.

And I hate how vulnerable it makes me feel.

I don't want to start over.

I don't want to go back to dating.

But at the same time, I keep thinking

I deserve to be loved in a way that I can actually feel.

I don't need him to love exactly the way I do. I don't need him to become some overly emotional person. But I don't think I should have to constantly explain that I want affection, intimacy, curiosity, communication and quality time.

I'm tired.

I'm tired of wondering if I'm asking for too much.

I'm tired of initiating.

I'm tired of analyzing texts.

I'm tired of wondering whether he actually wants to see me.

I'm tired of feeling like I'm emotionally ahead of someone I'm trying to build a relationship with.

And honestly, I'm tired of crying over someone who keeps telling me he wants me while I'm sitting here wondering why I don't feel wanted.

Maybe we're just incompatible.

Maybe he's simply slower and more emotionally reserved than I am.

Maybe I'm expecting something from him that he genuinely doesn't naturally give.

I don't know.

I just know that I don't want to spend years trying to convince someone to give me the kind of love and closeness that comes naturally to me.

And I don't want to keep abandoning myself just because starting over scares me.

I'm trying to understand whether I'm prohibited from possessing firearms under federal law. I reported but still nervous if I’m wasting time applying for any 1801 or 1811 roles.

Here's my background:

In 2019, I pleaded guilty to:

PC 273.6(a) (disobeying a domestic violence restraining order) – misdemeanor.

conviction was dismissed under PC 1203.4

I have never been convicted of PC 243(e)(1), PC 273.5, or any assault or battery offense.

My plea was to violating the court order (PC 273.6(a)). I did not plead guilty to any offense involving physical force.

My California DOJ criminal history still reflects the conviction and later dismissal.

I submitted a California Firearms Eligibility Check, and DOJ determined that I am prohibited under California law, but I'm trying to understand the legal basis for that determination.

My questions are:

Does a conviction for PC 273.6(a) by itself create a California firearm prohibition after probation has been completed and the conviction has been dismissed under PC 1203.4?

Does a conviction for PC 273.6(a) qualify as a federal misdemeanor crime of domestic violence under the Lautenberg Amendment, even though I was not convicted of domestic battery or corporal injury?

I'm looking for legal insight into the statutes involved rather than opinions. I understand this isn't legal advice, but I'd appreciate any guidance or relevant case law.

Submitted my SF-86 a month ago. Still waiting for the security interview or a security personnel to reach out. Anyone still on the same boat?

Previously held a public trust and a top secret clearance. First TS took nearly 2 years to pass 🥲

I'm in CA and I'm trying to understand whether anyone has experience with a DMV Driver Safety suspension.

Timeline:

* January 2023: I was involved in a fatal traffic collision. No drugs or alcohol involved. Both parties were found negligent unfortunately other party didn’t make it.

* The criminal case was filed in 2024.

* I entered a diversion program, completed all requirements, and the criminal case was ultimately dismissed. I was never convicted.

* During the case, my license was restricted for approximately 3 months, allowing me to drive to and from work.

* My full driving privileges were later restored.

* My DMV driving records from 2024 and 2025 showed my license as valid and no departmental actions.

* In June 2026, more than three years after the accident, I received an Order of Suspension based on negligent driving and contributing to a fatal accident.

* I requested a hearing and the DMV issued a stay, so I can continue driving pending the hearing.

* My DMV hearing is scheduled for August 2026.

It appears the DMV Driver Safety investigation was opened in June 2026, despite the DMV having record of the accident since 2023.

Other than that my driving record is clean.

My questions are:

1. Has anyone seen the DMV wait more than three years after an accident to initiate a Driver Safety suspension?

2. Is it common for the DMV to pursue a suspension after a criminal case was dismissed following successful completion of diversion?

3. What usually triggers a DMV Driver Safety review years after the accident?

4. Are there any procedural or due process arguments that attorneys commonly raise when there is such a long delay?

II'm mainly interested in hearing from anyone who has experienced a similar DMV Driver Safety proceeding or has knowledge of how these cases typically arise.

Thank you.

Applied: 11/25

Phase 1 and 2: 12/25

Eligible for 7/9 and referred: 2/26

Interviewed: 3/26

Referred: 3/26

DEA 200: 5/26

TJO for GS9: 5/26

Currently waiting to schedule medical and drug testing.

Edit:

Fingerprint / drug screening: 6/26

Submitted SF86: 6/26

Medical : 6/26

Not sure if confirmed but I know a few DEA instructors at Quantico and they informed me there are no more academy dates for DI the remaining year and next year is TBD. And not sure if they will still provide an EOD despite having one like a few agencies may do.

I’m bummed was waiting to schedule my polygraph but My TJO was rescinded due to not responding to an email to send back appropriate forms and re-consideration is not an option…HRD is claiming they could not open the attachments I responded to in a timely manner but I have the email thread to prove otherwise that I did respond and attached the forms they needed. I also sent it to a few federal co workers and a current DEA employee to see if they could open the attachments and they were able open them. Is there anyone I can connect to regarding this issue? Or if there’s anything I can do about it since this was all due to a technical issue on their part?